This must be the season of just getting into Spring where spring fancies have worn off or the want of new spring "love" is in the air. That feeling of meeting someone new and having that feeling of butterflies in your stomach, the want to see that special someone who makes your heart beat fast and makes you catch your breath when you see or talk to them. I just have to sigh....ok ok even deeper....not in longing but in frustration. Not because I do or don't have this in my life but at the number of friends that I have that are currently unhappy in their relationships or have broken off long term commitment situations. How much do people tolerate before they give things up and walk away or is everything they go through tolerable for the long term?
I have three friends in three situations. Mainly all three are my interpretations from the information they have given me (which is not alot) but they have all asked for my opinion, all but one, on their situation. Of which when I am done listening have only one question to ask them or maybe two and they can figure out from those questions, what my opinion will be without having to actually voice it.
I am going to start with Boomer. Boomer and I have known each other almost 4 years. He is a wonderful friend. In the past few months he has gotten a good job and gotten back on his feet from some trying and difficult times. Little Red his girl friend has been by his side during all this time. Little Red can be trying in herself. She is somewhat forgetful and sometimes ditzy but that is not doing her justice by any means. She is a wonderfully caring and beautiful person. She is also outspoken in her own way. Between Boomer and Little Red they have their challenges. Like any couple I'm sure. They were planning after 3 years on getting Married this May; one small thing lay in their way. She is still not divorced from her previous marriage and neither is he. Just a small problem I would say. :) Anywho....after all the things Boomer had to say I finally asked..."Do you love her? and Are you Happy?" His response to both was yes and no. As we have been down this road a few times in the last few years I understand his situation which I am not able to fully portray here. But he basically needs to decide one way or another.
Big C. Big C is a very outspoken man. He is involved with a woman, Hope. Hope has 2 kids and is very outgoing. She is also very jealous and pushy. I am not fond of Hope but I respect his choices. Big C lost a lot of weight and met this woman. Two weeks after dating her he proposed. She accepted and they moved in together. As I watched this unfold I was stunned. The ultimate Bachelor meets the ultimate state welfare single mom (nothing against moms on welfare). At first things seemed okay...now I am not so sure. They are planning their wedding for June and I don't personally think it is going to happen. How do you go from being one person in a small home to 4 in a small home?? Plus her jealousy issues. Its amazing I can't even call without her getting jealous...what are you talking about? who is she? Many other questions that are too long to list here and that was the first call. The first time I called to talk to Big C, Hope got on the phone and within the first 20 minutes I had her life story and was pretty much not able to get a word in edgewise. I am going to wait and see as things progress. I will be the one on the sidelines with my box of popcorn and drink.
Intimidator....This is one I can talk about in more detail as this is a much closer friend. He is dating Grandma, a woman 20 years older than he. I am not against the age difference, I am against the attitude difference. I have told him early on if he was looking for a mom he found it. Apparently he needed someone to take care of him and he found her....the only down side to that is that her attitude sucks. Well, according to me it sucks and I have met her seven times to be exact. Seven times I have been open minded enough to give her another chance at a first impression and seven times she has failed miserably. She says inappropriate things in front of the wrong age person as well as at the wrong times. I will be very honest here....I do NOT like her but yet I am always polite and nice to her. Recently we chatted and I asked him how she was doing and he said that she said (Ugh the he said she said game), "I am old and fat." I thought to myself what's new....I told him old no one can help. Fat she just needs to get off her butt and do something about it. I finally asked him to tell me something positive about her after all his venting. He finally said, "She keeps a good house and Intimidator Jr on a schedule." Good Ol' Mom I thought to myself again. He has found the mommy to take care of him but I have to ask. How much crap do you have to put up with before you say enough is enough? Is all the negative nagging worth it? Are you willing to spend the rest of your life this way???
Better him than me. I am home and happy and living life without someone dragging me down like that. My opinion is not given as freely to my friends any more unless they ask for it. Although I will share it here....These guys need to get their heads out of their back ends.....in the words of Intimidator....."It's dark, damp and stinky in there...." They need to see the light of day and move on. There is someone so much better out there for them that will fill their needs plus some. Just open your eyes and look. Good Luck Guys!!
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