Thursday, February 12, 2009

Not Up....Not Down...Somewhere Between...

Still not feeling myself trying to get better....cough...choke...gasp....cough...choke...gasp....and the cycle continues. Tonight its more so...the ears are plugged...the sinus pressure is almost intolerable...and I am sitting here very much in my own little world.

I think I am more so feeling sorry for myself. Well, not sorry for myself but not myself; wishing I had alot more energy..there are so many things I want to do and not enough time and so not enough energy for me to do them.

It didn't help on Tuesday when I answered a call from the landlord that he is going to put the house on the market again. I am now looking for a new place to live. I can't ride my landlords emotional roller coaster ride of financial woes any longer.

It's time for me to walk away....and provide something better and permanent for the family. I don't want to have to wonder if the landlord is going to put the house on the market or raise the rent. I don't want to worry if I put a hole in the wall to run cables or wireless internet (have to love wireless anything!) I want to know where the Christmas decorations are at all times. I want to know I can put a pile of compost (leaves, branches from the last windstorm, yard waste) in a corner of the yard and not have to worry about the grass underneath dying out. I want to have a garden, fruit trees a piece of ground I can call my own and dig a hole -- ok ok not too deep it has a septic system on the property....enough said there.

I was thinking about this last night when a friend called. We haven't talked in a while and it was good to be able to laugh and joke like we always could. I sure miss that. Sightseer called me on Monday to find out how I was doing.....We have set a date!!

Ok...he is dating someone so not that kind of date!

It's the date we are going to celebrate the fact that I am healthy again. I have given this stuff 30 days to depart from the premises. Actually less than that! On March 17th I am going to celebrate the fact that it's gone! Ok...let me look at that date again Actually March 15th!

That's the day I am planning on celebrating being healthy! All of my healthy friends are invited! What to do ....what to do...probably a back yard BBQ, with games for the kids and into the evening movies for the kids, board and card games for the adults and hot tubbing!

Ok so it sounds like it will be a fun night! Something to look forward to when I am healthy again. :) Ok..so things are perking up a bit in my attitude just thinking about being healthy again.

I have to add the daily funny here....As I was in bed the other day Kirby looks at me and asks....

"So how does it feel to feel like a gold fish?" I looked at him funny and asked what he meant...

He explained, "Everytime I walk by your room I look in the door to see if you are ok and resting. I figured maybe you felt like a gold fish in a bowl with everyone staring at you." I chuckled.

He said, "Mom, I know you not feeling good and I really want to make you smile." I smiled and said, "That's easy, just come in and say Hi, I like seeing you."

Throughout the afternoon Monkey Dude Jr and Kirby tried to come up with stunts and skits that would keep me entertained not realizing I truly didn't need it but I was not going to stop them from getting along.

Kirby came in later asking for a snack of a pretzel mix in a clear container. I agreed to let them have a snack and Kirby could not figure out how to get the container open. He reminded me of a squirrel in a campground trying to get to the food through a clear wall. Scratching at the container to no avail saying, "Let me in! Let me in!" ***chink, chink, chink*** "Anybody home, Let me in!"

Now that I think about it I guess you had to be there....it was pretty funny.

Have a good night and stay HEALTHY!!

Until next time.....

~Kasey~

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