That was last nights party theme amongst my small group. I went out to a party my exhusband was throwing. It was fantastic. Wolfman, Intimidator and Wolfmans cousin, Alaska man showed up. It was a halloween dress up party for adults only. Wolfman wnet as a cowboy, Intimidator showed up as a biker (pretty unique since he had ridden his motorcycle over) and Alaska man showed up as The Sheriff. Hubba hubba he looked good in his all black outfit and Sheriffs star. MMMMMmmmmmm... or should it be Yummmm....Not only that but Wolfman looked good as well. Intimidator would have looked better in his pirate costume. Although, he couldnt take it on the motorcycle.
I have to admit. I have missed my friend Intimidator. Since he started dating Grandma Girlfriend it hasn't been the same. In my opinion she is jealous and insecure when it comes to me. I am an independent individual with a wonderful son. I also have alot of things going for me as far as personality, positive attitude and being outgoing, opinionated, ornery, and humble. Okay now I am sounding egotistical but if you knew Intimidator you would understand. I had the guts to tell him a year ago how I felt about him and I was shot down. He chose Grandma Girlfriend which he is now paying the price for. What he doesn't realize is that I truly care. I care about what happens to them and how they feel Intimidator and his son. This isn't going to come out right. Maybe I care too much. Maybe my feelings haven't changed. Who knows?
I know how I feel, what I want and where I want to head....But it makes it hard as a good friend to watch my friend "claim" to be miserable but stay in the situation. I don't understand how someone can expose their child to what he keeps telling me about.
I stand firm on my belief that she is insecure and jealous of me. If she wasn't she would not have a problem with us being friends. Intimidator and I have been friends for the past 5 years. This past year has been tough. My one confidante I have not been able to confide in. Until last night. We both had had a few drinks, so did Wolfman and Alaska Man. It was like old times with Intimidator. I had not seen him really smile until last night. Not with the drinking but being free. Being able to be himself.
It hurt today when I took Intimidator Jr. to his dad. Intimidator was a completely different person. The person I hug when we see each other and hug when we leave was cool and aloof. Grandma Girlfriend was in the car. He wouldn't even give me a hug near her. It absolutely amazes me how...someone...who doesn't really care what others think really cares about what others think and will blow off a 5 year friend for a girlfriend he claims he is miserable with. I don't comprehend that. That's completely out of line for me since I understand most everything. Some people tend to underestimate me and my abilities. I don't believe I am misunderstanding this. Something to me doesn't quite add up.
Don't let my basic blog fool you. This is just basic "thoughts on paper" so to speak. It's my way of keeping what is most important to me in perspective which some people will see is friends and family.
The business I run with my ex husband, my job working as an administrative assistant and trying to publish a book with all the incompetent people I meet will be interesting to write about. I will eventually get around to it. I don't know how to explain how I am feeling. Hurt? Probably. It hurts that I feel I have lost my friend. Even though I haven't. He just can't be the person I know when she is around. Maybe I am only feeling this way because of the after effects of having a few drinks. The let down. But it can't be. I had a great day. Only when I took Intimidator Jr to his dad did all of these feelings hit me all at once.
Mr. Frogman and I drove around for a bit after that and had some good one on one time. He shared with me that he was glad to have his friend back that he had not seen for some time. It was good to be able to spend more time with him. Withall that happened this weekend he realized how much he cares. His exact words, "I like my friends so much! Mom we have so much fun when we are all together. You make us laugh when we play games. When can he come back over?" Of course we talked about all the funny stuff and reminisced about our weekend (mom reminiscing more than Mr.Frogman knew) and we had laughs of our own. What a way to end the weekend.
I am going to head out and sit and relax in the hot tub and ponder why this bothers me. I am sure I know, I am not yet ready to admit to it though.
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