Its the day before Thanksgiving. Co-workers are reaching out to get help in getting things done so that they can go home and enjoy the holiday weekend worry free! Everything taken care of and set up for next week. I was called into a last minute meeting. As I came out of this meeting, I thought I will run to the little girls room and then head back to my desk.
Everyday in my full time job is the same over and over. Answer the phone...respond to an email...answer a question for a co-worker...work the jobs queue. Almost like wash...rinse...repeat.
This is day after day. When you are in the midst of working quick and getting things done, you find the closest route to the break room (Coffee! Yeah!), the bathroom (Ultimate relief! Yes!!). You wind your way through a maze of cubicles and hope you don't hit a dead end.
People who haven't been in our building tend to end up in the corner yelling, "How the hell do I get out of here!" We holler back, "Go to the nearest fire extinguisher holder, pull out the flare gun and fire it up in the air! Someone will come to your rescue!" After a good chuckle we explain to follow the arrows to the nearest walkway and turn left.
We get a good chuckle at the folks that get to the end of the hallway and end up opening the emergency door setting off the alarm that only our Facilities Department has the code for. So we sit listening to a shrill alarm until they finally arrive to take care of the situation.
Every time I walk through the cubicle maze I am constantly thinking of the commercial where people stand up and you can see their head above the cubicle walls and they look like gophers coming out of their holes. peaking their heads up.
Today was like any other day. The same monotonous doldrums. The same repetitive behavior.
After my meeting I made my way to the nearest little girls room. I walked in did my business. I dried my hands and walked out. I looked around. The surroundings were not familiar. I looked around and found myself in unknown territory! I felt like an ant..."OMG! I've lost the line!!" Puttering around in a panic like the ants in "A Bug's Life". Once I looked around and got my bearings and realized where I was. I chuckled to myself and headed back to my cube. That's the last time I use another bathroom...LOL...
Just a funny from the day now behind us...
Until Next Time
~~Kasey
Wednesday, November 22, 2017
Tuesday, November 21, 2017
~*!~*!*~Life~*!~*!~
I work part time in a retirement community. Over the years I have had the opportunity to get to know each and every person who lives there and how very special and unique they are. It is inevitable that someone moves out of your life. I am constantly having to remind myself of the following:
Life if too short. We are here on this earth for such a short time.
Make the most of every moment!
Make your tomorrow better than today!
Life if too short. We are here on this earth for such a short time.
Make the most of every moment!
Make your tomorrow better than today!
Life has no guarantees, time outs or second chances.
~Live life to the fullest,
~Tell someone what they mean to you,
~Love like you've never been hurt,
~Laugh often,
~Forgive freely,
~Take pictures,
~Hold someone's hand,
~Speak up,
~Dance in the rain,
~Watch the sun come up,
~Smile until your face hurts.
~Don't be afraid to take chances or
~Fall in love.
~Most of all,
~LIVE IN THE MOMENT!
~~Life is short, break the rules, forgive quickly, kiss slowly, love truly, laugh uncontrollably, and never regret anything that made you smile.
~Mark Twain
Unitil Next Time
~~Kasey
Unitil Next Time
~~Kasey
Oh to Dream!
He slowly ran his hands up and down over her shoulders. He was rubbing in sunscreen. It was a warm day. She let her head drop forward as his hands worked their magic over the taut muscles that sometimes never seemed to relax. She hummed an "mmmmm...." she would let him do this all day.
Those strong hands just rough enough from hard work but smooth enough to massage her cares away.
As the sun shone down, she lifted her head looking down the beach to the water. The waves lapping at the beach. The beach was relatively empty for this time of day. They almost had it all to themselves. He wrapped his arms around her from his seat behind her. She leaned back into the strong strength of his chest and arms. She was safe and comfortable. A far cry from where she was a week ago.
She picked up the sunscreen and started putting more on her arms and legs. He stilled her hands and had her lean back against him. He hugged her from behind and just held her. They had been through so much in such a short amount of time. Not sure how long this moment of peace would last. They had to go back to the real world, but not yet.
What happens next?
Does the real world intrude or do they stay in their temporary cocoon of peacefulness?
Until Next Time
~~Kasey
Those strong hands just rough enough from hard work but smooth enough to massage her cares away.
As the sun shone down, she lifted her head looking down the beach to the water. The waves lapping at the beach. The beach was relatively empty for this time of day. They almost had it all to themselves. He wrapped his arms around her from his seat behind her. She leaned back into the strong strength of his chest and arms. She was safe and comfortable. A far cry from where she was a week ago.
She picked up the sunscreen and started putting more on her arms and legs. He stilled her hands and had her lean back against him. He hugged her from behind and just held her. They had been through so much in such a short amount of time. Not sure how long this moment of peace would last. They had to go back to the real world, but not yet.
What happens next?
Does the real world intrude or do they stay in their temporary cocoon of peacefulness?
Until Next Time
~~Kasey
I Want My Financial Life to Work This Way
Its been an extremely boring day at work. The same monotonous process over and over. Answer the phone, work a call, type on the computer, same issue, now resolved hang up. Just received an interesting call from a customer. He has multiple pieces of our company equipment. His equipment was due for a mandatory update that our company provides and installs at no charge to the customer.
He calls up to ask...after explaining his situation..."Do I get some sort of credit or refund if I installed this update on my own?"
I explained, "The update you received could be installed by our company at no charge or the by you, the customer. You can choose to install it." (This update is a matter of inserting a disc into the disc drive of the system and it will update all units connected to the system at the same time. It might take 10 minutes or less).
"Yes, but if I install it instead of your company, will your company issue me a credit?" He again asked. I tried not to chuckle.
"No we don't, we provide these updates at no charge to you even if one of our engineers come out to install the update we do not bill for his time or the update."
He replied, "I think you should credit me for the work I did for your company."
"I'm sorry sir...that would be like me changing the oil on my car and sending a bill to Jiffy Lube for my service. Because they could have done it, but I didn't have them do it. I chose to do it myself."
Or..."Hey I fixed my own car! Let me send the bill to the mechanic for doing his job!"
At this point he stuttered, I think he finally realized the realization of the question and stated, "Err, umm..thank you for your time. Have a nice day." and hung up.
After hanging up and chuckling....I want my financial life to work this way...if I do something I should be able to bill someone for my services due to the fact that they didn't do the job they could have done if I would have asked them to do it.
Too bad our kids aren't born rich! I could charge them for all the things I do that they could have done even when I ask! :)
Until Next Time
~~Kasey
He calls up to ask...after explaining his situation..."Do I get some sort of credit or refund if I installed this update on my own?"
I explained, "The update you received could be installed by our company at no charge or the by you, the customer. You can choose to install it." (This update is a matter of inserting a disc into the disc drive of the system and it will update all units connected to the system at the same time. It might take 10 minutes or less).
"Yes, but if I install it instead of your company, will your company issue me a credit?" He again asked. I tried not to chuckle.
"No we don't, we provide these updates at no charge to you even if one of our engineers come out to install the update we do not bill for his time or the update."
He replied, "I think you should credit me for the work I did for your company."
"I'm sorry sir...that would be like me changing the oil on my car and sending a bill to Jiffy Lube for my service. Because they could have done it, but I didn't have them do it. I chose to do it myself."
Or..."Hey I fixed my own car! Let me send the bill to the mechanic for doing his job!"
At this point he stuttered, I think he finally realized the realization of the question and stated, "Err, umm..thank you for your time. Have a nice day." and hung up.
After hanging up and chuckling....I want my financial life to work this way...if I do something I should be able to bill someone for my services due to the fact that they didn't do the job they could have done if I would have asked them to do it.
Too bad our kids aren't born rich! I could charge them for all the things I do that they could have done even when I ask! :)
Until Next Time
~~Kasey
Birthday Wish
Staring down at the pen I was using...clicking the tip out and in, click...click...click...click...click...click in rapid repeated succession.
Thinking to myself, "what do you think you are going to do with that?" Still clicking and unsure, it had been so long since I have used one of these communication devices.
Most of my daily communication is via text or email. It has been quite some time since I have picked up a pen and paper to write a special note to someone I have been thinking of. One of my baby sisters turned 40 this year. She has moved to the east coast for her job. I wanted to send her something more than a text message or email to wish her a happy birthday. I was going to send her a very special birthday card for her special day and follow up with some flowers. As I sat down to write out how much I miss her and wanted her to have a great birthday, I found myself writing the following note:
"My Dearest Sister,
I want to wish you a very Happy Birthday! I had hoped I could give you this wish in person! You are missed! I know you are doing well! I hope you are truly spoiled on your very special day! I am writing this to you and staring at this pen as I click it open and closed, open and closed open and closed. I have no idea what to write in this card...I am going to send you an email and text! Those I know how to do! I Love you Sis! Happy Birthday!
Your dorky, doesn't know how to use a pen Sister!"
I really struggled with what to say, it had been so long since I had written a letter.
(She has 3 sisters, I didn't put a return address on the envelope...She may not know who its from) :)
Until Next Time
~~Kasey
Thinking to myself, "what do you think you are going to do with that?" Still clicking and unsure, it had been so long since I have used one of these communication devices.
Most of my daily communication is via text or email. It has been quite some time since I have picked up a pen and paper to write a special note to someone I have been thinking of. One of my baby sisters turned 40 this year. She has moved to the east coast for her job. I wanted to send her something more than a text message or email to wish her a happy birthday. I was going to send her a very special birthday card for her special day and follow up with some flowers. As I sat down to write out how much I miss her and wanted her to have a great birthday, I found myself writing the following note:
"My Dearest Sister,
I want to wish you a very Happy Birthday! I had hoped I could give you this wish in person! You are missed! I know you are doing well! I hope you are truly spoiled on your very special day! I am writing this to you and staring at this pen as I click it open and closed, open and closed open and closed. I have no idea what to write in this card...I am going to send you an email and text! Those I know how to do! I Love you Sis! Happy Birthday!
Your dorky, doesn't know how to use a pen Sister!"
I really struggled with what to say, it had been so long since I had written a letter.
(She has 3 sisters, I didn't put a return address on the envelope...She may not know who its from) :)
Until Next Time
~~Kasey
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Not enough time...
I have to apologize to anyone who has been reading this and I stopped posting. I fell into a time where there didn't seem to be much positive. I couldn't rightly start laying the negative down. Life has been a roller coaster ride that I was not able to slow down or get off of.
I just wanted some normalcy to life in general. I wanted and still want some normalcy to a regular life without having to run into any medical issues. As we go through our day to day challenges as any family does, the little things make a huge difference.
I recently found out a friend of mine has a form of cancer. It has a high success rate or survival rate or both....
When I look at my day to day challenges they are nothing like what a few others have to go through.
Another friend of mine recently was told he needed a lung transplant and possible heart transplant. He underwent a recent heart procedure that has now made the lung transplant an option not necessarily a requirement. Amazing what small things being fixed can do in order to completely change ones life. He can now have a life with his kids and wife. He has the energy to play games and run around.
I have been down the road of having a 50-50 chance of living or not on the operating table and came out on the living side of things. I have seen the dying side of life and really choose to see the living side. There are so many things to be thankful for.
We recently had an incident between my work and my sons school. My work location is located directly behind my youngest sons school. We recently had an incident where a man had robbed a bank took off down the freeway, got off the freeway and headed out on some back roads. He ended up abandoning his vehicle in the school parking lot of where my son was.
There was a swarm of police officers who took over our back parking lot outside of my building and at the bottom of the hill next my sons school. At the time we had no idea what was happening....I had to find out later what was going on. I called the school to ask if they were in lock down of which, I was told yes.
Our company was in lock down as well. We were told not to leave the building. I had to sit and wonder what was happening. Finally reading a news report about what had happened, how do you not wonder if everything is truly okay. Was this person armed and dangerous? What was happening? There was a helicopter overhead. I could only hope that nothing had happened at the school.
When all was said and done my guy called me at the office. Everyone and everything was okay. I was relieved as any parent might be.
Having to be in a position where you don't know and there is only about 500 feet (without the hill) between me and my son. Is a challenge.
I had to give him a huge hug when I got home...and of course tell him I love him. He was so good about everything and explained what they went through at the school. He was so adult about it all. I was so proud of how he explained what happened, what they did and what they had to go through.
After spending part of the weekend now after this incident by myself, the realization that the small things have gotten lost in the shuffle is truly eye opening. Its time to get back to the basics. The house is set up now to do this. There is not a lot of housecleaning to be done. Not a lot of laundry to be done. Now its time to set up a ton of quality time with our troop here...Its time to make the time when we find there is not enough time.
Until next time....
~~Miss Kasey
I just wanted some normalcy to life in general. I wanted and still want some normalcy to a regular life without having to run into any medical issues. As we go through our day to day challenges as any family does, the little things make a huge difference.
I recently found out a friend of mine has a form of cancer. It has a high success rate or survival rate or both....
When I look at my day to day challenges they are nothing like what a few others have to go through.
Another friend of mine recently was told he needed a lung transplant and possible heart transplant. He underwent a recent heart procedure that has now made the lung transplant an option not necessarily a requirement. Amazing what small things being fixed can do in order to completely change ones life. He can now have a life with his kids and wife. He has the energy to play games and run around.
I have been down the road of having a 50-50 chance of living or not on the operating table and came out on the living side of things. I have seen the dying side of life and really choose to see the living side. There are so many things to be thankful for.
We recently had an incident between my work and my sons school. My work location is located directly behind my youngest sons school. We recently had an incident where a man had robbed a bank took off down the freeway, got off the freeway and headed out on some back roads. He ended up abandoning his vehicle in the school parking lot of where my son was.
There was a swarm of police officers who took over our back parking lot outside of my building and at the bottom of the hill next my sons school. At the time we had no idea what was happening....I had to find out later what was going on. I called the school to ask if they were in lock down of which, I was told yes.
Our company was in lock down as well. We were told not to leave the building. I had to sit and wonder what was happening. Finally reading a news report about what had happened, how do you not wonder if everything is truly okay. Was this person armed and dangerous? What was happening? There was a helicopter overhead. I could only hope that nothing had happened at the school.
When all was said and done my guy called me at the office. Everyone and everything was okay. I was relieved as any parent might be.
Having to be in a position where you don't know and there is only about 500 feet (without the hill) between me and my son. Is a challenge.
I had to give him a huge hug when I got home...and of course tell him I love him. He was so good about everything and explained what they went through at the school. He was so adult about it all. I was so proud of how he explained what happened, what they did and what they had to go through.
After spending part of the weekend now after this incident by myself, the realization that the small things have gotten lost in the shuffle is truly eye opening. Its time to get back to the basics. The house is set up now to do this. There is not a lot of housecleaning to be done. Not a lot of laundry to be done. Now its time to set up a ton of quality time with our troop here...Its time to make the time when we find there is not enough time.
Until next time....
~~Miss Kasey
Sunday, November 22, 2009
Thankful....
As Thanksgiving approaches, I am reminded by a friend of this saying again:
After the past two weeks I have encountered up news and down news....I have had friends reach out and offer help beyond what I could accept but find I need to accept. I have found I can't do it alone.
As I was experiencing chest pains, I was talking with Intimidator, who is a very close friend of mine. He asked me if I wanted him to take the kids while I went into the hospital. My response was, "Probably." This was just after a conversation about how I needed to try to ask for help. So right after I told him that...I said, "Yes, I would like for you to take the boys." He was great. He took the boys until Wolfman could pick them up.
I got to the hospital where They told me I had had a heart attack.. I sat thinking to myself that I am too young. There is no way this could happen. The blood test showed the cardiac enzymes high...which is an indicator that someone has had a heart attack or some sort of heart damage.
The ER Doctor came in and explained first was the heart x-ray, if that didn't show them what they wanted then it is a CT Scan, if that doesn't give them an answer then it would be an angiogram. At the sound of that word I almost panicked. That is not a word I want to hear. I have been through it before and will forego that pleasure for as long as I live now.
The Doctor came in after the heart xray....and informed me that we had to do the CT scan. They pumped me full of the dye and ran the tests. The Doctor came in and informed me the CT Scan was clear.....They were about to do an angiogram. This was not good news. I explained to the doctor I had one done in April, how could things have changed that much in less than 6 months?
He stopped and realized exactly what I was telling him. It dawned on me that it truly felt as though he didn't listen to anything I had to say. I was wrong in that. As the doctor went on and finally asked me if I had any questions.
I replied, "Yes, One question." He looked at me ready to take on any question I had.
I looked him in the eyes and asked, "Can you go out of the room and come back in with better news please?" He stopped for a few seconds somewhat stumped, then looked at me and smiled.
The guy who did the EKG came in at least 6 times to do the EKG...I don't plan these things, so when I have to go in I don't plan to wax prior to going into the ER....You would think the guy who places the stickers all over your legs would be willing to line them up so you would get an even hair removal when he pulled all those stickers off instead of leaving splotchy marks that you can't shave due to all the skin irritation. **Sigh**
With the CT Scan the dye they put in you puts a huge strain on the kidneys, the metformin I already take for diabetes also puts a huge strain on the kidneys. It has put such a strain that my kidneys aren't handling it well.
The final news of the night was the fact that they were going to keep me in the hospital overnight. I was petrified of what was to come. It was midnight and the nurse was shooting questions at me about health history and giving me the schedule of events. Listed below is how things happened throughout the night.
Midnight in a room
1:00am Finally asleep
3:00 Had to use the restroom
3:05 Press the nurse button for help
3:15 Press the nurse button (I have to go)
3:30 Realize the nurse button doesn't work (they didn't plug in the bed)
3:40 Stretch to reach the emergency cord in the bathroom (Have to go REALLY bad)
3:45 finally the nurse shows up to unhook cords so I can finally go.
3:55 Back in bed.
4:10 New Nurse change - Taking Vitals
4:40am Morning Blood Draw
5:00am Nurse change - Blood Sugar Check
5:20am Insulin shot
6:00am Blood Sugar Check
6:30am Wolfman came back
7:00am New Technician on duty
7:30am Cardiologist/Dr. Making a decision on next steps
8:00am EKG
8:30am - Technician with the "bathing" supplies
9:30am- Blood Sugar Check
There is no way I am sleeping now.
10:30am Heart Stress Test
11:15am Return from Stress Test
Finally Get released to go home and Blood Sugar Check - Refused the insulin this time around.
After all was said and done what they found out is that I have a severe bacterial infection that is causing my kidneys to shut down. They are not sure where it is from but the battle is antibiotics. On top of that, I am not able to take the metformin, so the blood sugar skyrockets (well not too bad) I am controlling it via diet. So far so good, its a bit on the high side but not over the top. Its a wait and see game. The kidneys are not doing too well but I believe they will bounce back.
Worst case scenario they will put me on dialysis for one day a week to let the kidneys take a break.....and hopefully recover a bit sooner.
You don't realize what things can cause you the most damage.
It's very frustrating.
I am not one to sit and let things get to me or get me down. They are frustrating....I was told recently to let the emotions happen. When I do the emotions lead to anger. I don't have time to feel sorry for myself, to feel bad that this has happened.
This has happened and I can only move forward.
I have a friend. He is a huge inspiration to me. He was hit by a car about a year and a half ago. His attitude and energy is contagious. He has been my inspiration. We have had some similar challenges with different situations and we have been drawn as friends to one another. We both thrive on the other and what we can do instead of what we can't.
He has been amazing and supportive. I have not believed in kindred spirits before until I met this man and his wife and family. Amazing what they have faced and come through only growing that much stronger. Him and I spoke on the phone yesterday as I didn't show up for a cub scout event. He was concerned. I thought he was calling for very different reasons when he said, "I am calling to see how you are. I don't care about anything else." It's moments like this when you know you are surrounded by people who care, listen and want to help not go through the motions of being polite but want to be there.
I am a firm believer in karma....you reap what you sow. I know I have given and will continue to do so....but when its time to receive its time to put the pride away and allow those closest to you in so they can potentially return the kindness that you have given.
That is a tough thing to swallow, but I am learning I need to step back and lean on someone. Believe it or not I can't do it alone. :) Yes I am admitting it.
Rely on those around you....closest to you when you truly need them.
I am a firm believer in the following statement:
"People will come into your life and quickly go; Those that mean the most to you will leave foot prints on your heart forever."
This is such a true statement.
Some food for thought this Thanksgiving.... :)
All the best to you!
Until next time.....
~~Kasey~~
Take pictures, laugh often, forgive freely, & love like you've never been hurt. Life has no guarantees, time outs, or 2nd chances. Live to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you, speak out, dance in the rain, hold someone's hand, watch the sun come up, & smile until your face hurts. Don't be afraid to take chances or fall in love. Most of all, live in the moment.
After the past two weeks I have encountered up news and down news....I have had friends reach out and offer help beyond what I could accept but find I need to accept. I have found I can't do it alone.
As I was experiencing chest pains, I was talking with Intimidator, who is a very close friend of mine. He asked me if I wanted him to take the kids while I went into the hospital. My response was, "Probably." This was just after a conversation about how I needed to try to ask for help. So right after I told him that...I said, "Yes, I would like for you to take the boys." He was great. He took the boys until Wolfman could pick them up.
I got to the hospital where They told me I had had a heart attack.. I sat thinking to myself that I am too young. There is no way this could happen. The blood test showed the cardiac enzymes high...which is an indicator that someone has had a heart attack or some sort of heart damage.
The ER Doctor came in and explained first was the heart x-ray, if that didn't show them what they wanted then it is a CT Scan, if that doesn't give them an answer then it would be an angiogram. At the sound of that word I almost panicked. That is not a word I want to hear. I have been through it before and will forego that pleasure for as long as I live now.
The Doctor came in after the heart xray....and informed me that we had to do the CT scan. They pumped me full of the dye and ran the tests. The Doctor came in and informed me the CT Scan was clear.....They were about to do an angiogram. This was not good news. I explained to the doctor I had one done in April, how could things have changed that much in less than 6 months?
He stopped and realized exactly what I was telling him. It dawned on me that it truly felt as though he didn't listen to anything I had to say. I was wrong in that. As the doctor went on and finally asked me if I had any questions.
I replied, "Yes, One question." He looked at me ready to take on any question I had.
I looked him in the eyes and asked, "Can you go out of the room and come back in with better news please?" He stopped for a few seconds somewhat stumped, then looked at me and smiled.
The guy who did the EKG came in at least 6 times to do the EKG...I don't plan these things, so when I have to go in I don't plan to wax prior to going into the ER....You would think the guy who places the stickers all over your legs would be willing to line them up so you would get an even hair removal when he pulled all those stickers off instead of leaving splotchy marks that you can't shave due to all the skin irritation. **Sigh**
With the CT Scan the dye they put in you puts a huge strain on the kidneys, the metformin I already take for diabetes also puts a huge strain on the kidneys. It has put such a strain that my kidneys aren't handling it well.
The final news of the night was the fact that they were going to keep me in the hospital overnight. I was petrified of what was to come. It was midnight and the nurse was shooting questions at me about health history and giving me the schedule of events. Listed below is how things happened throughout the night.
Midnight in a room
1:00am Finally asleep
3:00 Had to use the restroom
3:05 Press the nurse button for help
3:15 Press the nurse button (I have to go)
3:30 Realize the nurse button doesn't work (they didn't plug in the bed)
3:40 Stretch to reach the emergency cord in the bathroom (Have to go REALLY bad)
3:45 finally the nurse shows up to unhook cords so I can finally go.
3:55 Back in bed.
4:10 New Nurse change - Taking Vitals
4:40am Morning Blood Draw
5:00am Nurse change - Blood Sugar Check
5:20am Insulin shot
6:00am Blood Sugar Check
6:30am Wolfman came back
7:00am New Technician on duty
7:30am Cardiologist/Dr. Making a decision on next steps
8:00am EKG
8:30am - Technician with the "bathing" supplies
9:30am- Blood Sugar Check
There is no way I am sleeping now.
10:30am Heart Stress Test
11:15am Return from Stress Test
Finally Get released to go home and Blood Sugar Check - Refused the insulin this time around.
After all was said and done what they found out is that I have a severe bacterial infection that is causing my kidneys to shut down. They are not sure where it is from but the battle is antibiotics. On top of that, I am not able to take the metformin, so the blood sugar skyrockets (well not too bad) I am controlling it via diet. So far so good, its a bit on the high side but not over the top. Its a wait and see game. The kidneys are not doing too well but I believe they will bounce back.
Worst case scenario they will put me on dialysis for one day a week to let the kidneys take a break.....and hopefully recover a bit sooner.
You don't realize what things can cause you the most damage.
It's very frustrating.
I am not one to sit and let things get to me or get me down. They are frustrating....I was told recently to let the emotions happen. When I do the emotions lead to anger. I don't have time to feel sorry for myself, to feel bad that this has happened.
This has happened and I can only move forward.
I have a friend. He is a huge inspiration to me. He was hit by a car about a year and a half ago. His attitude and energy is contagious. He has been my inspiration. We have had some similar challenges with different situations and we have been drawn as friends to one another. We both thrive on the other and what we can do instead of what we can't.
He has been amazing and supportive. I have not believed in kindred spirits before until I met this man and his wife and family. Amazing what they have faced and come through only growing that much stronger. Him and I spoke on the phone yesterday as I didn't show up for a cub scout event. He was concerned. I thought he was calling for very different reasons when he said, "I am calling to see how you are. I don't care about anything else." It's moments like this when you know you are surrounded by people who care, listen and want to help not go through the motions of being polite but want to be there.
I am a firm believer in karma....you reap what you sow. I know I have given and will continue to do so....but when its time to receive its time to put the pride away and allow those closest to you in so they can potentially return the kindness that you have given.
That is a tough thing to swallow, but I am learning I need to step back and lean on someone. Believe it or not I can't do it alone. :) Yes I am admitting it.
Rely on those around you....closest to you when you truly need them.
I am a firm believer in the following statement:
"People will come into your life and quickly go; Those that mean the most to you will leave foot prints on your heart forever."
This is such a true statement.
Some food for thought this Thanksgiving.... :)
All the best to you!
Until next time.....
~~Kasey~~
Sunday, November 08, 2009
Laugh, Love, Live....
I am reminded by a friend of this today:
Take pictures, laugh often, forgive freely, & love like you've never been hurt. Life has no guarantees, time outs, or 2nd chances. Live to the fullest, tell someone what they mean to you, speak out, dance in the rain, hold someone's hand, watch the sun come up, & smile until your face hurts. Don't be afraid to take chances or fall in love. Most of all, live in the moment.
Sunday, September 06, 2009
Funny of the Day....
We went out to lunch today....Wolfman, Monkey Dude Jr., Kirby and myself. The choice of the day was Denny's....they asked me what I wanted and I had a breakfast meeting at 10 am with Wolfman where I didn't get breakfast and breakfast just sounded good.
We ended up at a table closest to the door. The waiters and waitresses know us there....it's "affordable" for a group of four plus kids eat free....I get one meal I don't have to pay for...however, Monkey Dude Jr. is getting older and eating a lot more. Although that doesn't matter much....
As we sat in the restaurant talking back and forth with the usual kid and teenage banter, Kirby made a comment about how there were several much older people in the restaurant. It is Sunday I told him in a whisper....the older crowd is out for the early bird dinner so they can be home and in bed by 4pm. He laughed and then looked at me and in a very serious voice says.....
"Mom, I don't know why you are whispering, they probably can't hear us anyway." I just started laughing as I looked at the group passing by us with matching walkers...
Amazing the come back.....
Until next time......
~Kasey~
We ended up at a table closest to the door. The waiters and waitresses know us there....it's "affordable" for a group of four plus kids eat free....I get one meal I don't have to pay for...however, Monkey Dude Jr. is getting older and eating a lot more. Although that doesn't matter much....
As we sat in the restaurant talking back and forth with the usual kid and teenage banter, Kirby made a comment about how there were several much older people in the restaurant. It is Sunday I told him in a whisper....the older crowd is out for the early bird dinner so they can be home and in bed by 4pm. He laughed and then looked at me and in a very serious voice says.....
"Mom, I don't know why you are whispering, they probably can't hear us anyway." I just started laughing as I looked at the group passing by us with matching walkers...
Amazing the come back.....
Until next time......
~Kasey~
Sunday, August 23, 2009
It has been...
It has been almost a month since I have posted. Its been a challenging month....Monkey Dude Jr Went to camp for 2 weeks. He got a scholarship for the full amount of tuition based on an essay he wrote! He did so good! He loved all 2 weeks away from home...didn't want to write at all. He had a great time....His first words to me were, "I WILL be going back next year!"
Kirby went to Boy Scout Camp in Couer D'Alene, Idaho for a week where his dad picked him up afterwards and they went to Silverwood for the next week.
They all came back for a Whole Day!! Then......
Monkey Dude Jr came back to then go spend a week with grandma and grandpa! Wolfman and Kirby headed out for a week long 50 Mile Kayaking trip. They had their down time the very beginning of the week and then the trip was a huge up and plus....They had a wonderful time! I am still hearing about all the excitement and the rest of the trip!!
I had a week to myself....I spent the week....hmmmmm.....working, picking up friends from the airport, after dog sitting for the past week, having the car towed, getting bad news and more bad news.....and then the boys came home a day early! I was so happy to have them all back just in time for Monkey Dude Jr to turn double digits.....and then school to start!
I am so glad to have them all back! Things are getting back to some sense of normalcy....whatever that might be!!
Things are looking up! One friend is doing the Iron Man in Canada next weekend! One friend is closing on 100 acres in the area right up the street this week!! I am so excited for them!!
I will be rooting for them all as the week progresses!! Things are looking so up for them!
I have gotten 2 fills in the last month in Gus!! Gus is working great for me now...I have had two people tell me I am looking very svelt!! They don't even know one another.....I don't see it yet but I know it's happening!! We will have to see how things go....
One day at a time....one step at a time....one meal at a time!!!
Until next time.....
~Kasey~
Kirby went to Boy Scout Camp in Couer D'Alene, Idaho for a week where his dad picked him up afterwards and they went to Silverwood for the next week.
They all came back for a Whole Day!! Then......
Monkey Dude Jr came back to then go spend a week with grandma and grandpa! Wolfman and Kirby headed out for a week long 50 Mile Kayaking trip. They had their down time the very beginning of the week and then the trip was a huge up and plus....They had a wonderful time! I am still hearing about all the excitement and the rest of the trip!!
I had a week to myself....I spent the week....hmmmmm.....working, picking up friends from the airport, after dog sitting for the past week, having the car towed, getting bad news and more bad news.....and then the boys came home a day early! I was so happy to have them all back just in time for Monkey Dude Jr to turn double digits.....and then school to start!
I am so glad to have them all back! Things are getting back to some sense of normalcy....whatever that might be!!
Things are looking up! One friend is doing the Iron Man in Canada next weekend! One friend is closing on 100 acres in the area right up the street this week!! I am so excited for them!!
I will be rooting for them all as the week progresses!! Things are looking so up for them!
I have gotten 2 fills in the last month in Gus!! Gus is working great for me now...I have had two people tell me I am looking very svelt!! They don't even know one another.....I don't see it yet but I know it's happening!! We will have to see how things go....
One day at a time....one step at a time....one meal at a time!!!
Until next time.....
~Kasey~
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Thought I would be more excited....
Both boys are now off for the next 2 weeks at camp! I thought I would feel more elated..excited...free....and here I am sitting at home missing them already...Its very quiet, I have the stereo on in the background.
The laundry is going, the dishes are done and its just me.
****SIGH**** Now what do I do? :) Only 2 weeks to figure it out....
Until next time....
~Kasey~
The laundry is going, the dishes are done and its just me.
****SIGH**** Now what do I do? :) Only 2 weeks to figure it out....
Until next time....
~Kasey~
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
What a Small World.....
I work for a fortune 500 company that employs 2200 plus people in my area. A friend of mine recently divorced started dating a christian man who treats her very well.
She text message me today asking:
Do you know John Smith? (names have been changed to save the innocent or protect the guilty)
I replied, "I don't know John Smith but I know of him. Starting Monday he will be in my department under my manager."
Come to find out this person I will be working with is the best friend of her new boy friend. Amazing how things come full circle. I am not looking at 6 degrees of separation I have had it down to 2-3 degrees of separation. It is pretty amazing the more people you know the smaller the world becomes.
I will be saying hello to "John Smith" on Monday. It will be interesting.
Its amazing how close you are to people who know people you know. What a web we weave and how it intertwines.
Until next time....
~Kasey~
She text message me today asking:
Do you know John Smith? (names have been changed to save the innocent or protect the guilty)
I replied, "I don't know John Smith but I know of him. Starting Monday he will be in my department under my manager."
Come to find out this person I will be working with is the best friend of her new boy friend. Amazing how things come full circle. I am not looking at 6 degrees of separation I have had it down to 2-3 degrees of separation. It is pretty amazing the more people you know the smaller the world becomes.
I will be saying hello to "John Smith" on Monday. It will be interesting.
Its amazing how close you are to people who know people you know. What a web we weave and how it intertwines.
Until next time....
~Kasey~
Procrastination....
It must be a genetic trait. I procrastinate on many things. Kirby does too...but when push come to shove he is ready on time and fully prepared.
We are preparing both Kirby and Monkey Dude Jr and Wolfman for Camp....
My schedule looks something like this...
July 26-Aug 1 Kirby at Camp
Aug 1-Aug 6 Kirby with Dad
Aug 6-9 Kirby Home
July 26-Aug 8 Monkey Dude Jr at Camp
Aug 8 Monkey Dude Jr Home
Aug 9-16 Monkey Dude Jr at his Grandparents
Aug 9-16 Kirby and Wolfman on a 50 mile Kayaking trip.
Aside from Wolman's days off I will have the house to myself for almost 3 weeks. No kids...What will I do with myself? I have no idea.
I will find something....I am so excited the boys come back from camp all excited to be home and they are both realizing that school starts 3 weeks after everyone comes home...
They are starting to wonder where their summer has gone...They have been so busy...
Mom's summer relaxation is about to begin for at least 3 weeks. :)
Its been good so far....We will see what the next week holds.
Until next time....
~Kasey~
We are preparing both Kirby and Monkey Dude Jr and Wolfman for Camp....
My schedule looks something like this...
July 26-Aug 1 Kirby at Camp
Aug 1-Aug 6 Kirby with Dad
Aug 6-9 Kirby Home
July 26-Aug 8 Monkey Dude Jr at Camp
Aug 8 Monkey Dude Jr Home
Aug 9-16 Monkey Dude Jr at his Grandparents
Aug 9-16 Kirby and Wolfman on a 50 mile Kayaking trip.
Aside from Wolman's days off I will have the house to myself for almost 3 weeks. No kids...What will I do with myself? I have no idea.
I will find something....I am so excited the boys come back from camp all excited to be home and they are both realizing that school starts 3 weeks after everyone comes home...
They are starting to wonder where their summer has gone...They have been so busy...
Mom's summer relaxation is about to begin for at least 3 weeks. :)
Its been good so far....We will see what the next week holds.
Until next time....
~Kasey~
Monday, July 20, 2009
Angry, Crazy and then to add insult to injury.....
I was called in today to have to fire someone on my team. I am not even the manager but had to play acting manager today.....
I had to bring them in, fire them, clean out their work space and escort them with security out the door...To add insult to injury I now have to do her job too!
I am so angry there aren't even words.
I couldnt keep any food down today except water...
The car behind me on my lunch break rear ended me and I went through the security gate...so now he has to pay for that....but no damage to my car.....
Went to a meeting and when I arrived I found out that I was only a week too early....to walk back to my car talking to my exhusband to have a car come around the corner in the parking garage and side swiped me.....I have a huge bruise up my right hip, and a scratch/more so a huge welt up my side by my ribs. I was very lucky had I not stepped back sooner it could have been worse but I was on the phone too and not paying attention. Luckily I was already at the hospital and all is well....nothing broken.
My mom however, freaked and I am glad she was there....I sooooo love my mommy!
There are some positives about today if I try to look at them....
1. I didn't lose my job.
2. I am alive and breathing
3. I was early for something...not late :)
4. I have good friends (Thank you for listening to me whine today)
I am trying to see the positive in today but I think I am going to sleep it off...and wake up happier tomorrow!!
Until next time.....
~Kasey~
I had to bring them in, fire them, clean out their work space and escort them with security out the door...To add insult to injury I now have to do her job too!
I am so angry there aren't even words.
I couldnt keep any food down today except water...
The car behind me on my lunch break rear ended me and I went through the security gate...so now he has to pay for that....but no damage to my car.....
Went to a meeting and when I arrived I found out that I was only a week too early....to walk back to my car talking to my exhusband to have a car come around the corner in the parking garage and side swiped me.....I have a huge bruise up my right hip, and a scratch/more so a huge welt up my side by my ribs. I was very lucky had I not stepped back sooner it could have been worse but I was on the phone too and not paying attention. Luckily I was already at the hospital and all is well....nothing broken.
My mom however, freaked and I am glad she was there....I sooooo love my mommy!
There are some positives about today if I try to look at them....
1. I didn't lose my job.
2. I am alive and breathing
3. I was early for something...not late :)
4. I have good friends (Thank you for listening to me whine today)
I am trying to see the positive in today but I think I am going to sleep it off...and wake up happier tomorrow!!
Until next time.....
~Kasey~
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Happy Birthday My Friend!
So I now hear 40 is over the hill. I know I am well on my way to that time too...Its right around the corner in fact.
I was at Intimidators birthday party today with his family. I felt right at home, it was very similar to my family get togethers.
I was at Intimidators birthday party today with his family. I felt right at home, it was very similar to my family get togethers.
Happy Birthday
Intimidator!!
40 is just a number :)
Until next time.....
~Kasey~
Intimidator!!
40 is just a number :)
Until next time.....
~Kasey~
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Update....Copied from My Journey Blog....
Weigh Ins!!
March 31, 2009 306 pounds - 1st surgical visit
May 28, 2009 296 pounds - Gall Bladder Surgery
June 11, 2009 292 pounds - Lap Band Surgery
June 30, 2009 279 pounds - 1st surgical follow up
July 18, 2009 270 Pounds - At home weigh in.
July 24, 2009 Next follow up appointment.
Woohoo!! Total of 36 pounds down!
Until next time...
~Kasey~
May 28, 2009 296 pounds - Gall Bladder Surgery
June 11, 2009 292 pounds - Lap Band Surgery
June 30, 2009 279 pounds - 1st surgical follow up
July 18, 2009 270 Pounds - At home weigh in.
July 24, 2009 Next follow up appointment.
Woohoo!! Total of 36 pounds down!
Until next time...
~Kasey~
So Many Things Have Happened....Let Me Tell You....
May 14th I called the surgical clinic to follow up on my letter to the insurance company to ensure they had received it for approval....On May 21st I followed up with the insurance company for the approval for surgery....
In the process I followed up with my HR Department at work and looked into Short Term Disability benefits for surgery. My manager showed me this....Apparently for short term disability you get up to 4 weeks off paid your first year if you have to be out for medical reasons. I filed the claim and then with the insurance company I found out that I got approved!! I was so excited I could hardly contain myself!!
I immediately called the nurse at the surgical clinic to let her know! Here I was on the brink of having the pain I had been experiencing for weeks gone and to start the journey into my new life!! The nurse told me she would call me back before the end of the day...Every time my phone rang at work I jumped in hopes it would be her.....by noon the next day she hadn't called so I called back to be informed that she would not be back until the following Wednesday, I was told I should be in surgery on Thursday.
I asked to speak to the Surgeons Physicians Assistant....to be told I was not on the schedule for surgery for May 28th and they didn't have the insurance approval. Not to mention that the surgeon would NOT do a gall bladder removal and the lap band surgery at the same time.....
We had been down this road a month before......What the hell!! So I finally told her that I wasn't keeping any food down now and I was supposed to wait another 2 weeks since the surgeon was going to be out of the office the next Thursday (he only does surgeries on Thursdays in the hospital).
They called me on Wednesday and I was in for surgery on Thursday...Luckily my manager understood and told me she didn't want me back to work before the next week was over. They had me in for emergency gall bladder surgery, which later I found out I had 3 gall stones and the gall bladder was "swollen" to a breaking point.
Before the surgery the surgeon came in and personally apologized for the mix up and confusion. They don't get many patients with multiple surgical requirements at one time so I "fell through the cracks" so to speak....
So the morning of May 28th comes...I can't eat or drink....not a problem...My surgery isn't until 2pm. We had scheduling issues, Wolfman had to appear in court for a ticket because he didn't have the insurance card in the truck one night when he was pulled over for a head light being out. Wolfman had to drop me off at the hospital at 11am; just as we were pulling in the hospital called. They had a few cancellations and could I come in earlier? I laughed and said yes, I was just getting out of the truck at the hospital I would be right up.
I was in pre-surgery at 11:30 waiting....I was nervous and alone. Surgery always bothered me since my first heart procedure. About an hour in a familiar face appeared around the curtain! Wolfman had gone into the courthouse explained what was going on....they dismissed his ticket and he headed back to the hospital. What a guy!! And here I thought I was going to be alone....He surely did not let me down.
The surgeon came in....explained what was going to happen....then the anasthesiologist came in....he told me they were going to give me something to like them more than I really should....after surgery I figured out why he said it.
They then pushed me towards the operating room, I remember going thru the doors down a hall around the corner, another corner then the doors opening and then I was waking up in recovery. I was told by the nurse that usually people don't last to the second set of doors. I woke up with incision pain but no pain from where the gall bladder had been....Finally the pain was gone....
I was able to go home within the hour. By 4pm that day I was grocery shopping and headed home. I was told that after 2 days I could eat anything I wanted....and all the recovery information.....
However, there was a catch......there was an issue during surgery that they could not repair due to I was already coming out of the good drug stupor. They had an issue with 2 of the incisions and it was creating a hernia. Over the next week I would figure out how bad it truly was. But they could not operate again due to I had just come out of surgery....They scheduled me for surgery again on June 11, 2009 for the lap band and the hernia repair due to that was the soonest the surgeon would be back in for surgery again, plus he did not want to put me under again for at least 2 weeks to give my body some time to heal from the gall bladder surgery.
I was not upset (until later) with the complications. The surgeon had relieved the pain I had been experiencing since March. I was happy.....
On June 11th I was the first person scheduled for surgery that day....I was excited the beginning of my journey was about to begin. I had researched and found that I thought I was prepared for the six weeks of bandster hell. I will get to that a little more later....Its a tough six weeks (I am currently at week 5 as of today).
I was at the hospital at 6;30am and scheduled for surgery at 8:30 am. My surgeon was assisting on another surgery and ended up in that surgery until 11:30am. My only thought was that if that was me I would want him taking his time for me too...so I was not worried about it....He came out to talk to me and I asked him if he wanted to take a few more minutes for a cup of coffee just so he was more alert during my surgery....He laughed and said, "No I am good...he seemed excited for me....Let's go get your new life started." I was shocked he remembered that comment. It was a comment I made 2 years ago when I had met him for the first time in a support group meeting.
When I came out of surgery.....Holy Hell!!! The pain was so bad when I was waking up.....The nurse looked at me and asked what the level of pain was....I looked at him and had tears running down my face and told him it was over 10...Even in child birth I did not experience pain like that....It was so severe when they asked me to sit up I could not....As time went on I was able to sit up....
Come to find out the surgeon used 2 of the same incisions he had used for my gall bladder surgery and had 4 other incisions too...The majority of the pain came from the band itself being wrapped around my stomach. It took 2-3 hrs this time in recovery and then I was headed home.
Home Day1:
Not being alone...I had a rotation of people in and out to "babysit" me so that if there were any complications I had help. All was good...
Day 2: Can't sleep on my side or stomach leaving sleeping on my back....I don't sleep on my back at all....Trust me you learn to do this very quickly.
I still had friends coming by about every 2 hours to keep an eye on me so nothing would happen. I have wonderful friends!
Day3: Things were better...I wasn't able to do much...and in alot of pain.....
Day 4: Extreme pain....new pain that was not there the day before.....
Day 5: Called the surgical clinic due to extreme pain -- Had an appointment to go in in 2 days..(Tuesday).
Day 7: Appointment time-
The surgeon came in and asked why I was in for a visit so soon after surgery....We talked for a bit and he pin pointed the pain and asked me if I had been taking the pain medication I went home with. I explained I could not take it due to that it made me loopy around the kids and that wasn't safe for them.
He chuckled and said, "We are going to mix you an over the counter cocktail. The pain you are experiencing is normal. Keep in mind in the last 2 weeks you have had 3 major surgeries. Your body is trying to heal."
He sent me home with a heavenly mixture of over the counter meds mixture and things changed quite a bit....I did take the good pills at night so I could sleep good with no pain then sleeping on my back would not be so bad.
We had our life challenges too with all of this....My surgery was on June 11th and we had to move on June 20th. What timing!
Week 2 I was moved from a clear liquid diet to a soup diet only...Not clear soups only but other soups with no chunks....I was not always hungry but had to get in my protein in daily.
Week 3: I was moved to soft mush foods mixed with soup....and this continued to week 4...
Week 3 was tough..It was a learning time to find out how much I could eat without over doing it. Learning how much I could eat before I was over full and in pain was the challenge. This has been a challenge since but gets easier over the course of time as you learn what you can and can't do, what you can and can't eat. Have to drink the water, sip, sip, sip....chew, chew, chew.
Week 4: I was moved to soft foods....This was a huge challenge...the confusing thing is how does your body know what is or is not going to stay down. I found out what productive burping is during this week. One food you could eat one day you might not be able to keep down the next. You don't want to take a sip of water if you feel like something is stuck. What is funny if the bite is too big, your body lets you know....If my body isn't going to keep it down I have very clear signs. Again...the water....sip, sip, sip.....chew, chew, chew.....
Week 5: I have been moved to almost all foods depending on if I could hold it down or not....I have spent 2 days not keeping anything down. My body did not want anything no matter how hungry I was. I sipped water and relaxed.
I am headed into week 6...I am headed for my first fill this next week due to I can eat some stuff but not others....I found the perfect filling meal! I was able to eat 2 boiled eggs and a nectarine. I was so full....and it was so satisfying....It was the most perfect thing in the past weeks. I can't explain it.
I was asked by someone the other day if I regretted my decision. I would say yes, but I am not through my recooperation fully. I have dropped over 20 pounds since my day of surgery and things are getting better each day. I still have trouble overall as I redefine my relationship with food.
So far my journey has been positive. It has been frought with challenges along the way. I don't believe I am alone in this, I know many others have experienced the same thing.
One day at a time...One step at a time. ..
Until next time.....
~Kasey~
In the process I followed up with my HR Department at work and looked into Short Term Disability benefits for surgery. My manager showed me this....Apparently for short term disability you get up to 4 weeks off paid your first year if you have to be out for medical reasons. I filed the claim and then with the insurance company I found out that I got approved!! I was so excited I could hardly contain myself!!
I immediately called the nurse at the surgical clinic to let her know! Here I was on the brink of having the pain I had been experiencing for weeks gone and to start the journey into my new life!! The nurse told me she would call me back before the end of the day...Every time my phone rang at work I jumped in hopes it would be her.....by noon the next day she hadn't called so I called back to be informed that she would not be back until the following Wednesday, I was told I should be in surgery on Thursday.
I asked to speak to the Surgeons Physicians Assistant....to be told I was not on the schedule for surgery for May 28th and they didn't have the insurance approval. Not to mention that the surgeon would NOT do a gall bladder removal and the lap band surgery at the same time.....
We had been down this road a month before......What the hell!! So I finally told her that I wasn't keeping any food down now and I was supposed to wait another 2 weeks since the surgeon was going to be out of the office the next Thursday (he only does surgeries on Thursdays in the hospital).
They called me on Wednesday and I was in for surgery on Thursday...Luckily my manager understood and told me she didn't want me back to work before the next week was over. They had me in for emergency gall bladder surgery, which later I found out I had 3 gall stones and the gall bladder was "swollen" to a breaking point.
Before the surgery the surgeon came in and personally apologized for the mix up and confusion. They don't get many patients with multiple surgical requirements at one time so I "fell through the cracks" so to speak....
So the morning of May 28th comes...I can't eat or drink....not a problem...My surgery isn't until 2pm. We had scheduling issues, Wolfman had to appear in court for a ticket because he didn't have the insurance card in the truck one night when he was pulled over for a head light being out. Wolfman had to drop me off at the hospital at 11am; just as we were pulling in the hospital called. They had a few cancellations and could I come in earlier? I laughed and said yes, I was just getting out of the truck at the hospital I would be right up.
I was in pre-surgery at 11:30 waiting....I was nervous and alone. Surgery always bothered me since my first heart procedure. About an hour in a familiar face appeared around the curtain! Wolfman had gone into the courthouse explained what was going on....they dismissed his ticket and he headed back to the hospital. What a guy!! And here I thought I was going to be alone....He surely did not let me down.
The surgeon came in....explained what was going to happen....then the anasthesiologist came in....he told me they were going to give me something to like them more than I really should....after surgery I figured out why he said it.
They then pushed me towards the operating room, I remember going thru the doors down a hall around the corner, another corner then the doors opening and then I was waking up in recovery. I was told by the nurse that usually people don't last to the second set of doors. I woke up with incision pain but no pain from where the gall bladder had been....Finally the pain was gone....
I was able to go home within the hour. By 4pm that day I was grocery shopping and headed home. I was told that after 2 days I could eat anything I wanted....and all the recovery information.....
However, there was a catch......there was an issue during surgery that they could not repair due to I was already coming out of the good drug stupor. They had an issue with 2 of the incisions and it was creating a hernia. Over the next week I would figure out how bad it truly was. But they could not operate again due to I had just come out of surgery....They scheduled me for surgery again on June 11, 2009 for the lap band and the hernia repair due to that was the soonest the surgeon would be back in for surgery again, plus he did not want to put me under again for at least 2 weeks to give my body some time to heal from the gall bladder surgery.
I was not upset (until later) with the complications. The surgeon had relieved the pain I had been experiencing since March. I was happy.....
On June 11th I was the first person scheduled for surgery that day....I was excited the beginning of my journey was about to begin. I had researched and found that I thought I was prepared for the six weeks of bandster hell. I will get to that a little more later....Its a tough six weeks (I am currently at week 5 as of today).
I was at the hospital at 6;30am and scheduled for surgery at 8:30 am. My surgeon was assisting on another surgery and ended up in that surgery until 11:30am. My only thought was that if that was me I would want him taking his time for me too...so I was not worried about it....He came out to talk to me and I asked him if he wanted to take a few more minutes for a cup of coffee just so he was more alert during my surgery....He laughed and said, "No I am good...he seemed excited for me....Let's go get your new life started." I was shocked he remembered that comment. It was a comment I made 2 years ago when I had met him for the first time in a support group meeting.
When I came out of surgery.....Holy Hell!!! The pain was so bad when I was waking up.....The nurse looked at me and asked what the level of pain was....I looked at him and had tears running down my face and told him it was over 10...Even in child birth I did not experience pain like that....It was so severe when they asked me to sit up I could not....As time went on I was able to sit up....
Come to find out the surgeon used 2 of the same incisions he had used for my gall bladder surgery and had 4 other incisions too...The majority of the pain came from the band itself being wrapped around my stomach. It took 2-3 hrs this time in recovery and then I was headed home.
Home Day1:
Not being alone...I had a rotation of people in and out to "babysit" me so that if there were any complications I had help. All was good...
Day 2: Can't sleep on my side or stomach leaving sleeping on my back....I don't sleep on my back at all....Trust me you learn to do this very quickly.
I still had friends coming by about every 2 hours to keep an eye on me so nothing would happen. I have wonderful friends!
Day3: Things were better...I wasn't able to do much...and in alot of pain.....
Day 4: Extreme pain....new pain that was not there the day before.....
Day 5: Called the surgical clinic due to extreme pain -- Had an appointment to go in in 2 days..(Tuesday).
Day 7: Appointment time-
The surgeon came in and asked why I was in for a visit so soon after surgery....We talked for a bit and he pin pointed the pain and asked me if I had been taking the pain medication I went home with. I explained I could not take it due to that it made me loopy around the kids and that wasn't safe for them.
He chuckled and said, "We are going to mix you an over the counter cocktail. The pain you are experiencing is normal. Keep in mind in the last 2 weeks you have had 3 major surgeries. Your body is trying to heal."
He sent me home with a heavenly mixture of over the counter meds mixture and things changed quite a bit....I did take the good pills at night so I could sleep good with no pain then sleeping on my back would not be so bad.
We had our life challenges too with all of this....My surgery was on June 11th and we had to move on June 20th. What timing!
Week 2 I was moved from a clear liquid diet to a soup diet only...Not clear soups only but other soups with no chunks....I was not always hungry but had to get in my protein in daily.
Week 3: I was moved to soft mush foods mixed with soup....and this continued to week 4...
Week 3 was tough..It was a learning time to find out how much I could eat without over doing it. Learning how much I could eat before I was over full and in pain was the challenge. This has been a challenge since but gets easier over the course of time as you learn what you can and can't do, what you can and can't eat. Have to drink the water, sip, sip, sip....chew, chew, chew.
Week 4: I was moved to soft foods....This was a huge challenge...the confusing thing is how does your body know what is or is not going to stay down. I found out what productive burping is during this week. One food you could eat one day you might not be able to keep down the next. You don't want to take a sip of water if you feel like something is stuck. What is funny if the bite is too big, your body lets you know....If my body isn't going to keep it down I have very clear signs. Again...the water....sip, sip, sip.....chew, chew, chew.....
Week 5: I have been moved to almost all foods depending on if I could hold it down or not....I have spent 2 days not keeping anything down. My body did not want anything no matter how hungry I was. I sipped water and relaxed.
I am headed into week 6...I am headed for my first fill this next week due to I can eat some stuff but not others....I found the perfect filling meal! I was able to eat 2 boiled eggs and a nectarine. I was so full....and it was so satisfying....It was the most perfect thing in the past weeks. I can't explain it.
I was asked by someone the other day if I regretted my decision. I would say yes, but I am not through my recooperation fully. I have dropped over 20 pounds since my day of surgery and things are getting better each day. I still have trouble overall as I redefine my relationship with food.
So far my journey has been positive. It has been frought with challenges along the way. I don't believe I am alone in this, I know many others have experienced the same thing.
One day at a time...One step at a time. ..
Until next time.....
~Kasey~
Thursday, May 14, 2009
Right Hand....Left Hand....
So, I now have my psychological evaluation scheduled with an "in network" doctor. Things could not have gone easier, at least with that small portion. The Doctor I talked to, I will refer to him as Dr. Bill, was a very calm and peaceful man.
After having a nurse tell me from the surgical clinic that they had already submitted my preapproval letter, the other nurse told me, "No, the letter is sitting here on my desk." They won't submit it until they receive all the documentation. So I explained, "My frustration here in lies, that the communication stinks. You tell me no it happens like this and the other nurse tells me yes its already been done....Will the right hand please speak to the left and get on the same page!!" I know she didn't like that too much and as I continued to explain, "I am putting my life in your hands and if this is what you do when your not in surgery I would really hate to see what you do when you are.....I hope this is not indicative of what the surgeon does too? or I might have to reconsider my options." She really didn't know what to say. They have messed up with me...I know they are human but this is ridiculous.
After hanging up the phone with her I ran out to my follow up cardiologist visit to find out some good information but not good information. <> I dont remember the name but the term heart disease I remember very clearly. I am now on an Ace Inhibitor to protect my kidneys. It is absolutely amazing what happens to your organs if you have diabetes. Things clog up or shut down. The human heart in a normal person has what they call a 65% or better blood pumping capacity meaning your heart will fill up 65% or more before it beats a beat. Mine is at 55% which is very concerning. So on another medication to keep going.
After that appointment I got to take all the documentation one floor up to the surgical clinic. hand that over for the file and head to my regular doctor.
I have to be on cholesterol medication, another medication to lower blood sugar since the metformin isn't doing the full job and I am maxed out as far as dosage goes. And of course we know what that "stuff" causes. If you don't ask and I will post it.
So I have my cocktail of pills in the morning and another cocktail at bedtime.
Oh Lucky Me!! (NOT)
Until there is resolution to the weight issues I will continue to progress with health problems. I am so determined to get this under control and get off all the medications...except one that I will probably be on the rest of my life....but I can handle one pill a day....I can't handle the 12.
One day....One day....Waiting patiently for that too happen.
Until next time.....
~Kasey~
After having a nurse tell me from the surgical clinic that they had already submitted my preapproval letter, the other nurse told me, "No, the letter is sitting here on my desk." They won't submit it until they receive all the documentation. So I explained, "My frustration here in lies, that the communication stinks. You tell me no it happens like this and the other nurse tells me yes its already been done....Will the right hand please speak to the left and get on the same page!!" I know she didn't like that too much and as I continued to explain, "I am putting my life in your hands and if this is what you do when your not in surgery I would really hate to see what you do when you are.....I hope this is not indicative of what the surgeon does too? or I might have to reconsider my options." She really didn't know what to say. They have messed up with me...I know they are human but this is ridiculous.
After hanging up the phone with her I ran out to my follow up cardiologist visit to find out some good information but not good information. <
After that appointment I got to take all the documentation one floor up to the surgical clinic. hand that over for the file and head to my regular doctor.
I have to be on cholesterol medication, another medication to lower blood sugar since the metformin isn't doing the full job and I am maxed out as far as dosage goes. And of course we know what that "stuff" causes. If you don't ask and I will post it.
So I have my cocktail of pills in the morning and another cocktail at bedtime.
Oh Lucky Me!! (NOT)
Until there is resolution to the weight issues I will continue to progress with health problems. I am so determined to get this under control and get off all the medications...except one that I will probably be on the rest of my life....but I can handle one pill a day....I can't handle the 12.
One day....One day....Waiting patiently for that too happen.
Until next time.....
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
Rough Day...
Today overall has been a pretty rough day.
I was up at 5am to get hold of the "Behavioral Health" side of my insurance to get an approval code to have a psychological evaluation. I suppose if you can handle being treated as though you are someone calling in with an addiction to drugs or suicidal this would be necessary.
I would think they would have gotten it if I didn't have to talk to 3 different people in the process and explain to each one why I was calling. I would think that if someone is calling in regarding bariatric surgery and they are taking the steps to improve their life then you wouldn't have to ask them if they are having thoughts of suicide...I know they get those calls...but honestly...How many times do you need to ask if I am thinking of harming myself.
Anyway, I finally got the authorization code only to call the Dr.'s office to have them ask me what the units are for. After 45 minutes on the phone to get the code...now she wants to know what the units are for? Hell if I know...I was on the phone before the coffee was made. You didn't ask me that yesterday when we talked for 30 minutes....Mind you she is very blunt and gruff there was very little of someone who was personable...This is the Doctors wife so there is not much I can do....I have talked to the Doctor and I really did like him.
**Sigh**
Now I am thinking I am going to have to call them back to find out...Luckily she piped up and said, "I will call them and find out. Insurance is sticky, you probably want to leave it to someone who understands." I asked her then, "Are you purposely trying to upset me?" She said, "No." I told her, "You might want to be careful with your statements. I can probably tell you about insurance and what code numbers you need to use for this. I don't appreciate your assumptions that I don't know or understand. Maybe some people don't but I don't want to be lumped in with them." Within the hour I called her back to let her know what the units were for. She didn't have to make that phone call. I think we had a good understanding at that point.
One thing after another. I have been trying to reach the surgical clinic to see if they have sent the letter to my insurance for predetermination for surgery. There are 2 nurses who work with this surgeon, one of the nurses told me over the phone, "I sent your letter out the same day as your appointment." Then I am told by the second nurse, " Oh we don't send out that letter until you have had your psychological assessment appointment." Egads! Will the right hand please talk to the left?!?!?!?
So now I have to find out if they even sent my letter off. No one at this time can confirm.
The more stressed I get the more pain I am in. The gall bladder is acting up and I am tired. Its been a long day....You know how that goes...
Time for kids, homework, dinner, boy scouts and much more.....I am starting to wonder if this day is going to end. Good thing we don't have more than 24 hours in a day!
Until next time......
~Kasey~
I was up at 5am to get hold of the "Behavioral Health" side of my insurance to get an approval code to have a psychological evaluation. I suppose if you can handle being treated as though you are someone calling in with an addiction to drugs or suicidal this would be necessary.
I would think they would have gotten it if I didn't have to talk to 3 different people in the process and explain to each one why I was calling. I would think that if someone is calling in regarding bariatric surgery and they are taking the steps to improve their life then you wouldn't have to ask them if they are having thoughts of suicide...I know they get those calls...but honestly...How many times do you need to ask if I am thinking of harming myself.
Anyway, I finally got the authorization code only to call the Dr.'s office to have them ask me what the units are for. After 45 minutes on the phone to get the code...now she wants to know what the units are for? Hell if I know...I was on the phone before the coffee was made. You didn't ask me that yesterday when we talked for 30 minutes....Mind you she is very blunt and gruff there was very little of someone who was personable...This is the Doctors wife so there is not much I can do....I have talked to the Doctor and I really did like him.
**Sigh**
Now I am thinking I am going to have to call them back to find out...Luckily she piped up and said, "I will call them and find out. Insurance is sticky, you probably want to leave it to someone who understands." I asked her then, "Are you purposely trying to upset me?" She said, "No." I told her, "You might want to be careful with your statements. I can probably tell you about insurance and what code numbers you need to use for this. I don't appreciate your assumptions that I don't know or understand. Maybe some people don't but I don't want to be lumped in with them." Within the hour I called her back to let her know what the units were for. She didn't have to make that phone call. I think we had a good understanding at that point.
One thing after another. I have been trying to reach the surgical clinic to see if they have sent the letter to my insurance for predetermination for surgery. There are 2 nurses who work with this surgeon, one of the nurses told me over the phone, "I sent your letter out the same day as your appointment." Then I am told by the second nurse, " Oh we don't send out that letter until you have had your psychological assessment appointment." Egads! Will the right hand please talk to the left?!?!?!?
So now I have to find out if they even sent my letter off. No one at this time can confirm.
The more stressed I get the more pain I am in. The gall bladder is acting up and I am tired. Its been a long day....You know how that goes...
Time for kids, homework, dinner, boy scouts and much more.....I am starting to wonder if this day is going to end. Good thing we don't have more than 24 hours in a day!
Until next time......
~Kasey~
Monday, May 11, 2009
Follow Up
I took today to make a few phone calls. Trying to get the final information on whether or not my insurance has approved my surgery.
I called the surgical center to find out that the person who handles that is out today. I know I will hear back from her tomorrow when she is back....but doesn't she know I am on pins and needles now? :) I feel like a kid the night before they are supposed to go to Disneyland! Anxious and excited....but the fear of being let down sticks in the back of my mind too.
I am still waiting for the psychologist to get back to me as well. Just one more thing it feels like in the long line of things. Not to mention all the other feelings going through me...the fear, excitement, anxiety, stress and sadness....not sure why....but I know I will figure it out soon enough.
I have started a daily exercise routing that I had before. I am walking about a mile a day...drinking almost a gallon of water a day and it doesn't seem like it's enough I am still thirsty. One day all of this will be under control or gone again. The diabetes is the worst. Watching the diet and making sure my daily water amounts are met. You know if I didn't know any better I would swear I slosh when I walk. :)
In the process of typing this post I have called a second Psychologist in the hopes I might receive a call back soon so I can schedule an appointment. Just a little impatient?....me?.....YES!! :)
Maybe sometime soon. I know I am close to getting to surgery and then the real tough part of things begins! The band is a tool not an easy way out. There is so much more to do with the band than without. I could get onto a soap box here but only if pressed :)
I know what I want, what my goals are....and where I am headed.
What I want...to see my boys graduate high school, college, get married have kids, be a part of my grandchild(ren) lives. If I were to continue down the path I am on....I won't have that opportunity.
My goal is to lose 120 pounds if not a few more and be healthy, be an active participant in life rather than an observer.
Where am I headed? To a new me!
Just the thought makes me smile.
Until next time....
~Kasey~
I called the surgical center to find out that the person who handles that is out today. I know I will hear back from her tomorrow when she is back....but doesn't she know I am on pins and needles now? :) I feel like a kid the night before they are supposed to go to Disneyland! Anxious and excited....but the fear of being let down sticks in the back of my mind too.
I am still waiting for the psychologist to get back to me as well. Just one more thing it feels like in the long line of things. Not to mention all the other feelings going through me...the fear, excitement, anxiety, stress and sadness....not sure why....but I know I will figure it out soon enough.
I have started a daily exercise routing that I had before. I am walking about a mile a day...drinking almost a gallon of water a day and it doesn't seem like it's enough I am still thirsty. One day all of this will be under control or gone again. The diabetes is the worst. Watching the diet and making sure my daily water amounts are met. You know if I didn't know any better I would swear I slosh when I walk. :)
In the process of typing this post I have called a second Psychologist in the hopes I might receive a call back soon so I can schedule an appointment. Just a little impatient?....me?.....YES!! :)
Maybe sometime soon. I know I am close to getting to surgery and then the real tough part of things begins! The band is a tool not an easy way out. There is so much more to do with the band than without. I could get onto a soap box here but only if pressed :)
I know what I want, what my goals are....and where I am headed.
What I want...to see my boys graduate high school, college, get married have kids, be a part of my grandchild(ren) lives. If I were to continue down the path I am on....I won't have that opportunity.
My goal is to lose 120 pounds if not a few more and be healthy, be an active participant in life rather than an observer.
Where am I headed? To a new me!
Just the thought makes me smile.
Until next time....
~Kasey~
Sunday, May 10, 2009
As of 05/08/09
As of today....this is where things are at....
I had already completed the nutritionist appointment and psychological evaluation. I have to do them again. The first nutritionist I found only works with one surgeon and won't release my records to the surgeon I have requested nor will she give me a copy....I will deal with that issue later. The psychologist I saw...who was fantastic, did not do a write up of our meetings since I was denied for surgery. He told me when I was ready to let him know and he would send it to the surgeon.
From then until now he had a stroke and is on disability. He can't do anything so I am out of luck. I have to go through the appointments again. These are only minor set backs in regards to the big picture.
My appointments for the nutritionist are scheduled for Wednesday May 13, 2009 and the sooner they get the information to the surgeon the sooner we can schedule surgery. The insurance company already asked for the tentative surgery date. Being that I need to have my gall bladder out and soon....That might expedite paperwork to the surgeon and make things happen a bit faster.
If all works out right I could be having surgery as soon as the first or second week of June 2009. I am keeping my fingers, toes, legs and eyes crossed. One day my time will come...hopefully sooner than later. Its a challenge being a 38 year old mom who can't keep up with my 9 and 14 year old boys. I want that time with them being active....
It's a wait and see game....right now I am waiting to see what happens.
~Kasey~
I had already completed the nutritionist appointment and psychological evaluation. I have to do them again. The first nutritionist I found only works with one surgeon and won't release my records to the surgeon I have requested nor will she give me a copy....I will deal with that issue later. The psychologist I saw...who was fantastic, did not do a write up of our meetings since I was denied for surgery. He told me when I was ready to let him know and he would send it to the surgeon.
From then until now he had a stroke and is on disability. He can't do anything so I am out of luck. I have to go through the appointments again. These are only minor set backs in regards to the big picture.
My appointments for the nutritionist are scheduled for Wednesday May 13, 2009 and the sooner they get the information to the surgeon the sooner we can schedule surgery. The insurance company already asked for the tentative surgery date. Being that I need to have my gall bladder out and soon....That might expedite paperwork to the surgeon and make things happen a bit faster.
If all works out right I could be having surgery as soon as the first or second week of June 2009. I am keeping my fingers, toes, legs and eyes crossed. One day my time will come...hopefully sooner than later. Its a challenge being a 38 year old mom who can't keep up with my 9 and 14 year old boys. I want that time with them being active....
It's a wait and see game....right now I am waiting to see what happens.
~Kasey~
Angiogram Results...
I went in on Thursday for an angiogram.....
The results came out very positive....
I was cleared for surgery!! My journey was about to begin!
What great news for the weekend!!!
Until next time.....
~Kasey~
The results came out very positive....
I was cleared for surgery!! My journey was about to begin!
What great news for the weekend!!!
Until next time.....
~Kasey~
The Journey Began....
My Journey started back in April of 2007.
It's a long story but if you have time keep on reading. I am mainly posting as I feel after hitting all the road blocks I have come across, and I know I am not the only one and they aren't any different from anyone elses.
I started on my journey by attending 3 different WLS seminars to be able to meet different surgeons and see what the requirements were. Before doing that I contacted my insurance company to see if they cover it. They said no but put me through to another department that indicated if I completed all of these things, it could be appealed and they would probably cover it if certain criteria were met. I had the BMI, I had co morbidities all of which the insurance agreed upon.
I went through the process of getting all my medical records together to show my weight history. Then the health reasons as to why WLS would be beneficial, sleep apnea testing, psychological evaluation, nutritionist appointments, eventually the cardiologist based on something the doctor saw. Then they required a 6 month under doctor supervision diet.
After 9 months of waiting and testing they came back and said no.
They were not going to cover the WLS it was not part of the insurance plan and they didn't know why I was being sent over to this other department. So I went up the ladder. The insurance company ended up reimbursing me for the expenses I paid for all of these appointments that I didn't need based on what their people kept telling me.
Needless to say I was devastated.
I had to back away from everything having to do with weight loss but took the information I needed and took the next 2 years and kept researching and practicing good eating habits.
I went through being depressed and frustrated and angry.....
Now, I work for a company that does cover the WLS. I am in the process of only having to go through 2 more appointments to be able to schedule a surgery date as long as the insurance approves everything, which according to the people I am working with should not be an issue.
I am not sure how I am feeling. Scared possibly some due to, could it happen again that I am in the process of changing my life that it could be thwarted all over again. It was bad enough the first time. I know I am much closer than I was the last time.
I am trying to make these feelings go away as this is something I have wanted for my family, and my health for a very long time. I thought it was fear of the surgery...but I am finding that, that is not the case.
I have been staying on course and trying not to deviate from the goal. There is no guarantee of anything and I think at this point I need a guarantee of sorts.
Anyway....onto something a bit more positive! Even given all the challenges this time around included, My first appointment this time was on April 20th. I could be headed for surgery before the end of June if all works out right..
In a way (Since I have a hard time asking for help) I am reaching out...for some positive thoughts and kind words. I know I am doing what's right for me...I think I am looking for reassurance.
Until next time.....
~Kasey~
It's a long story but if you have time keep on reading. I am mainly posting as I feel after hitting all the road blocks I have come across, and I know I am not the only one and they aren't any different from anyone elses.
I started on my journey by attending 3 different WLS seminars to be able to meet different surgeons and see what the requirements were. Before doing that I contacted my insurance company to see if they cover it. They said no but put me through to another department that indicated if I completed all of these things, it could be appealed and they would probably cover it if certain criteria were met. I had the BMI, I had co morbidities all of which the insurance agreed upon.
I went through the process of getting all my medical records together to show my weight history. Then the health reasons as to why WLS would be beneficial, sleep apnea testing, psychological evaluation, nutritionist appointments, eventually the cardiologist based on something the doctor saw. Then they required a 6 month under doctor supervision diet.
After 9 months of waiting and testing they came back and said no.
They were not going to cover the WLS it was not part of the insurance plan and they didn't know why I was being sent over to this other department. So I went up the ladder. The insurance company ended up reimbursing me for the expenses I paid for all of these appointments that I didn't need based on what their people kept telling me.
Needless to say I was devastated.
I had to back away from everything having to do with weight loss but took the information I needed and took the next 2 years and kept researching and practicing good eating habits.
I went through being depressed and frustrated and angry.....
Now, I work for a company that does cover the WLS. I am in the process of only having to go through 2 more appointments to be able to schedule a surgery date as long as the insurance approves everything, which according to the people I am working with should not be an issue.
I am not sure how I am feeling. Scared possibly some due to, could it happen again that I am in the process of changing my life that it could be thwarted all over again. It was bad enough the first time. I know I am much closer than I was the last time.
I am trying to make these feelings go away as this is something I have wanted for my family, and my health for a very long time. I thought it was fear of the surgery...but I am finding that, that is not the case.
I have been staying on course and trying not to deviate from the goal. There is no guarantee of anything and I think at this point I need a guarantee of sorts.
Anyway....onto something a bit more positive! Even given all the challenges this time around included, My first appointment this time was on April 20th. I could be headed for surgery before the end of June if all works out right..
In a way (Since I have a hard time asking for help) I am reaching out...for some positive thoughts and kind words. I know I am doing what's right for me...I think I am looking for reassurance.
Until next time.....
~Kasey~
Monday, April 20, 2009
Sitting, Waiting, Wondering.....
I recently thought about some seriousness of life; I have so many things I want to do and there is so little time.
Where am I at; at this point in my life I don't know. Call it depression, self pity or whatever you like. I have had to stop and reevaluate what is going on. After what I thought was going to be a routine visit to the cardiologist turned out to be anything but....
I went into a cardiologist appointment this morning....I figured ok..its a standard stress test. They want to make sure everything is okay after a gall bladder attack back in March. Ok..I am thinking it's going to be just like before.....hehehehe....Wow! Was I wrong!
Just like before they hooked up all the wires and electrodes....last time I was in my work out clothes and able to really work out during this stress test. This time around was much different. Even though I walk daily this time I was not able to keep up.
I walked in to start the appointment and I was told I would have to leave everything from the waist up off. Holy Hell!! If that was the case they better not have me running this time, I could knock myself unconscious with "things" hanging loose! The "nurse" hooked up all the electrodes and had me completely "wired!" The sonographer came in and posed me at different angles to get really good pictures of my heart.....nothing like being smeared with something sticky....Not the type of sticky I like. :) Anyway, then came the treadmill. The doctor came in and started it up...then put it onto a huge incline and sped it up.....faster......then faster again.....then one more time a bit faster.....then.....he suddenly turned off the machine had me lay down where they poked and prodded at different angles again with gooey stuff until he finally turned to me and gave me the news.....
I thought the pictures looked pretty stinkin' good...my heart was beating...That was a very good thing. But that's not all there is to it. Along with the heavy breathing came the pain. He showed me where the arteries looked clogged....showed me where the issues were showing to be.
Making me realize that all is not well.
So after leaving that appointment I had to go to another area of the hospital to have a Heightascan done. I don't even know if that is how you spell it. The heightascan is an easy one....
they hook an IV into you pump some fluid into you that your liver has to turn into bile...and then it expands your gall bladder. They then shove some chemical into your IV that makes the gall bladder contract and lo and behold it's supposed to let them know if there is an issue. They tell you that very few people experience anything.....Well, I did experience something and it was painful...What they didn't tell me until I was done was that it was supposed to reproduce the pain I had in the past. It sure did.....which indicates that I have a gall bladder issue...now the question of the hour is will they take out the gall bladder and put in stints at the same time? I doubt it...
However, the hour and a half heightascan appointment allowed me to take a nap...something I don't often get to do in the middle of the day.
Thinking back and thinking through....its the waiting part....waiting for the results....waiting for the damn lab tech to come and take my fasting blood draw at 1:30 in the afternoon so I can finally eat! I had to laugh, after all was said and done I had to visit the lab for a blood draw before leaving the hospital. I handed my paperwork to the front desk person and when he looked at it he laughed and said, "This has to be a fasting blood draw." I turned to him and said, "I have been fasting, I am starving and a diabetic....It's time to take my blood shortly before I pass out and you have to admit me...then I am sure you will take my blood to find out what is wrong." I have never seen a lab tech jump into action so quickly.
I was out of there on my way back to work....
I was doing ok...and then I got a phone call from the hospital....
I needed to schedule an angiogram soon...."Nothing to be worried about, only a concern," the doctor had said to me...However, his nurse told me that he wanted me in first thing on Thursday and it was important to get the appointment scheduled.
Not be worried? I was now downright scared....and here I thought I had time.
This is a good test of whether everything is in order.
Will -- Check
Custody of Kirby -- Check
Personal Belongings -- Check
Saying Goodbye -- Never gonna happen.
I will again be eliminating one word from my vocabulary and that is the word bye...
It is until I see you again....until we meet again....or laters! (Thanks Matt for that one!)
I don't know...self pity....depression....fear....all of the above...or none of the above and just anger? Who knows....
Here I am sitting, waiting and wondering; what is going to happen next....maybe I don't want to know....
Until next time.......
~Kasey~
Where am I at; at this point in my life I don't know. Call it depression, self pity or whatever you like. I have had to stop and reevaluate what is going on. After what I thought was going to be a routine visit to the cardiologist turned out to be anything but....
I went into a cardiologist appointment this morning....I figured ok..its a standard stress test. They want to make sure everything is okay after a gall bladder attack back in March. Ok..I am thinking it's going to be just like before.....hehehehe....Wow! Was I wrong!
Just like before they hooked up all the wires and electrodes....last time I was in my work out clothes and able to really work out during this stress test. This time around was much different. Even though I walk daily this time I was not able to keep up.
I walked in to start the appointment and I was told I would have to leave everything from the waist up off. Holy Hell!! If that was the case they better not have me running this time, I could knock myself unconscious with "things" hanging loose! The "nurse" hooked up all the electrodes and had me completely "wired!" The sonographer came in and posed me at different angles to get really good pictures of my heart.....nothing like being smeared with something sticky....Not the type of sticky I like. :) Anyway, then came the treadmill. The doctor came in and started it up...then put it onto a huge incline and sped it up.....faster......then faster again.....then one more time a bit faster.....then.....he suddenly turned off the machine had me lay down where they poked and prodded at different angles again with gooey stuff until he finally turned to me and gave me the news.....
I thought the pictures looked pretty stinkin' good...my heart was beating...That was a very good thing. But that's not all there is to it. Along with the heavy breathing came the pain. He showed me where the arteries looked clogged....showed me where the issues were showing to be.
Making me realize that all is not well.
So after leaving that appointment I had to go to another area of the hospital to have a Heightascan done. I don't even know if that is how you spell it. The heightascan is an easy one....
they hook an IV into you pump some fluid into you that your liver has to turn into bile...and then it expands your gall bladder. They then shove some chemical into your IV that makes the gall bladder contract and lo and behold it's supposed to let them know if there is an issue. They tell you that very few people experience anything.....Well, I did experience something and it was painful...What they didn't tell me until I was done was that it was supposed to reproduce the pain I had in the past. It sure did.....which indicates that I have a gall bladder issue...now the question of the hour is will they take out the gall bladder and put in stints at the same time? I doubt it...
However, the hour and a half heightascan appointment allowed me to take a nap...something I don't often get to do in the middle of the day.
Thinking back and thinking through....its the waiting part....waiting for the results....waiting for the damn lab tech to come and take my fasting blood draw at 1:30 in the afternoon so I can finally eat! I had to laugh, after all was said and done I had to visit the lab for a blood draw before leaving the hospital. I handed my paperwork to the front desk person and when he looked at it he laughed and said, "This has to be a fasting blood draw." I turned to him and said, "I have been fasting, I am starving and a diabetic....It's time to take my blood shortly before I pass out and you have to admit me...then I am sure you will take my blood to find out what is wrong." I have never seen a lab tech jump into action so quickly.
I was out of there on my way back to work....
I was doing ok...and then I got a phone call from the hospital....
I needed to schedule an angiogram soon...."Nothing to be worried about, only a concern," the doctor had said to me...However, his nurse told me that he wanted me in first thing on Thursday and it was important to get the appointment scheduled.
Not be worried? I was now downright scared....and here I thought I had time.
This is a good test of whether everything is in order.
Will -- Check
Custody of Kirby -- Check
Personal Belongings -- Check
Saying Goodbye -- Never gonna happen.
I will again be eliminating one word from my vocabulary and that is the word bye...
It is until I see you again....until we meet again....or laters! (Thanks Matt for that one!)
I don't know...self pity....depression....fear....all of the above...or none of the above and just anger? Who knows....
Here I am sitting, waiting and wondering; what is going to happen next....maybe I don't want to know....
Until next time.......
~Kasey~
Thursday, April 02, 2009
Life has become absolutely crazy....
First its getting sick and fighting off pneumonia. Finally at the end of February Sightseer and I were planning a "everyone's healthy" BBQ for March 15th.
March 13th Mother Nature had other plans. Gall Bladder attack put me down for 3 days, what an adventure that was.....from the ambulance taking 26 minutes to get there to being left in a hallway and parade waving to everyone coming by....now to doing all the follow up cause they don't know what's wrong. Everyone has a different opinion.
I have to say though, we are in the process of moving out of this wonderful 4 bedroom house with half an acre and a hot tub to a 3 bedroom house with a small yard. The landlord here decided to give the house back to the bank. We are now on our way.....So with all the packing and cleaning I have to share an incident with Kirby and how truly proud I am of him for keeping his wits about himself under a stress and panic moment. Ok...for me that would be a stress and panic moment. :)
Monday, Kirby was home after school by himself like he is everyday. Keep in mind Kirby is 14 and very responsible. He was working on his laptop when he saw someone pass in front of the living room window across the front porch of the house.
He was able to give a very clear and concise description of this person and exactly what they did while they were outside. He managed to call me after the fact. The only issue at hand is that he should have called 911 instead of mom. He went into a room of the house and hid with the phone. He had a very clever hiding spot too!
After all was said and done he did good....we didn't find who it was but we know that Kirby is prepared for almost anything. He had a plan and did great....we went over emergency procedures again and instead of calling mom first to call the police first. I think he's got it.
I was just so amazed at his very detailed description of the person. When the police went around the neighborhood with a description almost everyone said they saw someone matching that description within the past 2 weeks.
When all is said and done, we are moving our move out date up 2 weeks and moving out sooner. But until then I have full faith in Kirby's ability to keep calm under pressure.
One more step in the process.....
For those that are reading this and don't understand why it's a big deal; Kirby is autistic and we have challenges, schedules we keep and processes to think things through for. What may take you and I a few seconds might take him a minute, a lot of times less. As he gets older it gets easier but yet harder.
His comment of the week, "Guess what mom! I am going to be 15 this year and I will be able to drive."
OMG!!! When did that happen!?!?!?!!?
Until next time....
~Kasey~
March 13th Mother Nature had other plans. Gall Bladder attack put me down for 3 days, what an adventure that was.....from the ambulance taking 26 minutes to get there to being left in a hallway and parade waving to everyone coming by....now to doing all the follow up cause they don't know what's wrong. Everyone has a different opinion.
I have to say though, we are in the process of moving out of this wonderful 4 bedroom house with half an acre and a hot tub to a 3 bedroom house with a small yard. The landlord here decided to give the house back to the bank. We are now on our way.....So with all the packing and cleaning I have to share an incident with Kirby and how truly proud I am of him for keeping his wits about himself under a stress and panic moment. Ok...for me that would be a stress and panic moment. :)
Monday, Kirby was home after school by himself like he is everyday. Keep in mind Kirby is 14 and very responsible. He was working on his laptop when he saw someone pass in front of the living room window across the front porch of the house.
He was able to give a very clear and concise description of this person and exactly what they did while they were outside. He managed to call me after the fact. The only issue at hand is that he should have called 911 instead of mom. He went into a room of the house and hid with the phone. He had a very clever hiding spot too!
After all was said and done he did good....we didn't find who it was but we know that Kirby is prepared for almost anything. He had a plan and did great....we went over emergency procedures again and instead of calling mom first to call the police first. I think he's got it.
I was just so amazed at his very detailed description of the person. When the police went around the neighborhood with a description almost everyone said they saw someone matching that description within the past 2 weeks.
When all is said and done, we are moving our move out date up 2 weeks and moving out sooner. But until then I have full faith in Kirby's ability to keep calm under pressure.
One more step in the process.....
For those that are reading this and don't understand why it's a big deal; Kirby is autistic and we have challenges, schedules we keep and processes to think things through for. What may take you and I a few seconds might take him a minute, a lot of times less. As he gets older it gets easier but yet harder.
His comment of the week, "Guess what mom! I am going to be 15 this year and I will be able to drive."
OMG!!! When did that happen!?!?!?!!?
Until next time....
~Kasey~
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