The Dreaded Phone Call

I was not able to share this with anyone as it has been difficult. I am moving forward in life and the more I write the more I share the more I heal.

 

This happened a few months ago…

 

 

The dreaded phone call this morning.

 

I am at work trying to make it through my day. I am not someone who usually gets upset or depressed about a lot of things. Today is a different kind of day. I feel like I have lost so much.

 

I knew it was coming. I had a long talk with a friend of mine into the wee hours of the morning. It was like déjà vu all over again.  Over the past few months I have been talking with a friend I made at the hospital when I had to be in the hospital for heart problems.

 

During one of my darkest moments “Annie” appreared in my doorway. When no one else was there she walked in like my guardian angel.  There weren’t any lights or music or wings but, you always hear about that one person who shows up when you are at your lowest to pick you up.  This was “Annie” for me.

 

I had been in the hospital having my heart checked and a stint put into my system. This was an overnight stay and I was feeling very alone, tired and weak both physically and emotionally. The doctors didn’t know what was going on. They were saying one thing, and then trying to determine another. Congenital heart disease was a term that kept popping up. I researched it and didn’t like what I was hearing. To me this was not an option.

 

The doctor admitted me to the hospital so that I could have my heart procedure done first thing in the morning. As I sat in the hospital, feeling very alone and not happy with my doctors final visit to my room that night, I wanted to curl up into a ball and disappear. This was one of those times I really had wished I had reached out to my friends for support but I didn’t want to so they wouldn’t worry. It was my own fault and I knew it but after the phone call to my parents and their response to all of this was, “Oh don’t worry, you will be okay.  I have to go now I have to take  your sister shopping.” That didn’t make me feel all that great. So from that point on I didn’t tell anyone.

 

As I sat there I started to cry. It was late and I didn’t want to bother anyone by calling that late. I wasn’t allowed visitors I couldn’t eat or drink anything, and I was there. A figure appeared in my doorway. She was petite long brown and gray hair, sparkling green eyes, and a smile that would light up a room. She was wearing those full body pajamas. She looked at me and in a very comforting way introduced herself, “Hi, I’m Annie.” We talked for a few minutes. She explained why she was in the hospital and couldn’t sleep either so she went wandering and noticed my light on and that I was still awake. She didn’t ask why I was crying, she just sat and talked to me about herself and family, why she was in the hospital. As she went on I didn’t feel lonely any longer. She really made me feel better, I knew I wasn’t the only person going through all this “stuff” as I will refer to it.

 

She had her purse with her and she pulled out pictures of her husband, kids and grandkids! She was so proud. She had a personality that was outstanding. Nothing could get her down. She became my support system for the next year and a half. We talked. She introduced me to her single son, I was invited to family dinners and gatherings. I found I was just as much a support system for her as she was for me.  Her heart problems didn’t allow her to be as active as I know she wanted to be. She would get frustrated and sometimes herself break down and cry as she couldn’t do everything she wanted to do. As time went by her health deteriorated. She would call me and talk for hours into the night when she became scared she wouldn’t see the next morning.

 

She shared hopes and dreams with me. Her husband and her son became close friends with me as well. Her and I would take time on a warm night and sit out under the stars and talk about hopes and dreams. She was always telling me to go after what I wanted. I did and was shot down only to pick up and keep going. She was my inspiration. No matter what everytime I left she always told me she loved me and I knew it, I could feel it.

 

I asked her how many people from the hospital she spent time with. She didn’t answer. Her husband told me later that I was the only person. She didn’t know what had drawn her into the room to talk to me but I am so glad she took those steps.

 

She called me one night pretty late and we talked. We talked until the wee hours of the morning. This was not unlike other conversations we have had. She shared with me that she was scared. We talked out her feelings and she was feeling tired so we ended our call. We told each other how much we loved one another and hung up. The word Goodbye is not in our vocabulary.

 

I got up the next morning feeling very tired as I headed off to work. About 10 am Annie’s husband called me. Annie had passed away quietly in the night. We knew this day was coming and I valued all the time I had spent with her. She was such an inspiration.

 

I was invited to the memorial service and the graveside burial. I was also asked to sit in on her will reading as she had a very special message for me.

 

When I walked it the memorial service after helping her husband and son with some of the details, the room was half filled and it was still 20 minutes until the time of the service. Annie’s husband approached me and asked me to sit with the family. Her memorial service was beautiful. The pastor at the end of the prayer for Annie asked if anyone wanted to share or say anything on her behalf. I was asked to say something and I had a few things written down in note form. As I got up to speak Annie’s husband handed me a large stack of notecards that were in Annie’s writing. His comment was, “She wasn’t going to let you off that easy. She wants you to read this first.”  Without looking at the cards I searched for my extra hankerchief. I knew I was going to need it. The cards read please read this as it is and have people hear my voice.

 

Each card was focused on individual people and what they meant to her. She must have had a card for every person in the room. There was not a dry eye in the room. Even my eyes weren’t dry but I didn’t care I could hear her voice and exactly how she would say these things to everyone. Each was a huge positive thought. I had to change my words after and explained how Annie and I met. I explained that she was my “angel”. The one person who could pick you up at the times you were down, when you least expected it. I had a few more experiences to share which had us laughing. She was a great person and will be greatly missed. Others got up to speak but kept it short as “Annie” had already shared so much.

 

For a few weeks after her passing, I spent time with her husband and son to help out where I could each day. She had so much spirit and tenacity. She was so loved and adored. They are standing strong and doing well.

 

I miss Annie and her smiles, her contagious laughter her attitude. She is still my inspiration and I know as my angel she is watching over me.

 

 

 

 

How did your day start?

This is how my day started today…

 

Things are rocky in the beginning but get steadier. The light dawns, bodies sway and move to a rhythm all their own.  They touch then move apart. Time and again like waves moving and crashing on the shore. To move all in one motion as though they are one.

 

It gets warmer, moving, touching with each sway. Eyes closed in repose, the heat and the humidity rise. The touching continues moving and swaying. It is a long time before we can move apart. The touch lingers, moving forward we are almost there. So close!

 

Then it all suddenly comes to an end and it is time to get off the bus.

 

 

 

 

Love Sick...

Kirby keeps telling me how much love hurts. He has a crush on a very nice girl. I know her parents and we keep in constant contact just to keep on top of what the kids are doing.

He has written hearts with her name in them. He talks about her when he and I are one on one wanting to know what he should do. He thinks about her alot, I can see him off in day dream wordl with that face and silly smile. I know what he is thinking. He has a picture of her he can look at.

And here I thought it was only the girls who did that.

**As the stomach churns**

He's Graduated!!

Okay, it's only from the 6th grade but still. On he moves to Junior High! Can you believe it? He is that age moving on to the next level of education.

Kirby was so excited, his dad showed up!

His dad doesn't come to many things, but when it is truly important I can usually count on him being there.

Kirby went through a 90 person graduation ceremony with his friends all things considered he did extremely well. He was a bit upset with a few of the pictures I submitted for the slide show but it wasn't anything embarrassing. Only one of him on a unicycle and one of him on the beach at Camp Casey last year. Apparently he didn't expect them to be in there and he was embarrassed.

He had a lot of fun during graduation with his friends and made arrangements with them and the parents for the summer. Sounds like they want to get together a few times throughout the summer for movies and "hanging out" as Kirby tells me.

He is so excited tonight since we are about to celebrate with an Ice Cream Sundae...

CONGRATULATIONS KIRBY!!

I am very proud of you!!

Underestimated...

Many people underestimate me and my accomplishments and abilities. I have been researching cars for a few months now. I needed a vehicle that would support 4 people who are over 5 feet 1o inches tall, and Monkey Dude Jr who is maybe 4 feet tall. I figure no matter what vehicle I chose I could fit him in somewhere.

I searched and researched for what vehicle would work for me that I could afford with the amount of savings I had. I really didn't want to finance the vehicle. I would take my friend Wolfman to dealerships with me and the salesmen would sell to him. One dealership actually tried to sell me a vehicle I didn't want. You can guess I didn't go back to their dealership.

I researched for a few more weeks and finally found a very large dealership that had about 8 cars I wanted to look at. I arrived at the dealership and we were taken around in a small car to look at all the vehicles that were in my price range. As we approached vehicle #8 I was getting very discouraged. Wolfman was doing a great job keeping the salesman busy while I really got to look at the vehicle. I was tired and ready to head home...when I walked around a vehicle that caught my eye. It was a year older than I wanted but had a lot less miles than the one I was looking at. I looked in, it seated 7, it had 4wd, and all the features I was looking for. I wasn't overly excited yet. I walked around to the front of the vehicle to check out the price tag. $20,900. I shook my head and said, "No, No, No...." I didn't like the price...I wasn't going to pay that type of money for a vehicle that had that many miles, when just that morning I had driven a vehicle almost identical to it for half the miles and they wanted only $14,988.

As Wolfman and I sat down with the salesman to negotiate the price with "The Big Boss", he placed a piece of paper with the price and vehicle make, model and vin # in front of Wolfman. Wolfman calmly and gently looked at the salesman, looked him in the eye as he slowly slid the piece of paper in front of me, "SHE is the one buying this vehicle, not me." The salesman was a bit shocked since he had spent most of his time selling to Wolfman, my roommate, he is not even on the loan. The salesmans face turned red as he seemed to sit and realize his mistake of the day. He had been selling the vehicle to my roommate and did not pay much attention to me. A few times he seemed to blow me off during the "tour" of vehicles. He focused on the man of the group. He didn't find out who was truly buying the car...Go figure huh?

I looked at the piece of paper when it was finally placed in front of me. I still didn't like the price and I told our salesman so. He told me to name a price and he would see what he could do. I explained that I had driven a vehicle that morning that was almost identical to what I was looking at here. The difference is the vehicle was gold and not white. It also didn't have Mickey Mouse on the window. Other than that the vehicles were identical. Now that wasn't necessarily true. The vehicle I had driven that morning only seated 5 people and was only a 2 wheel drive vehicle. Yet it did have 20K miles less than this vehicle and was a year newer. I still didn't want to pay the price they were asking for it. I looked at the salesman and said, "I will offer them $15, 500 Cash for the vehicle." He replied with a chuckle saying, "I don't know if the Big Boss will go for that, what would be the highest you would pay for this vehicle?" I looked at him and replied with, "I won't pay more than that." He shook his head as he walked off to talk to "The Big Boss".
I sat and waited, and waited, Wolfman headed off to find the restroom. The salesman came back and I was a bit shocked at what they came back with. They offered the vehicle back to me at $16500. I still wasn't sure about the price but I told him to go talk to "The Big Boss" again. This time "The Big Boss" came out to talk to me. I pulled out the ad for the other vehicle. No where on it did it show a 2 wheel drive vehicle but it did have the Vin# and what year mileage etc. No one said anything about it. He just looked at me and said, "That's the lowest we are willing to go on this vehicle." I shook my head and said, "Let me think about it." At that point "The Big Boss" whom I found out goes by Bulldog....Bulldog isn't as fierce as he would like to think. He and I were going to butt heads and he knew it.

I came back after fully thinking through the need for this vehicle. I did need it, it wasn't just a want. However it was, it was one of the vehicles I wanted and in a way needed. I accepted the offer. Off I went to the finance department! How quickly they move you on to the next room.

At this point they finally asked me how I was going to be financing this vehicle. I chuckled and said, "My bank has preapproved me at 9%, can you do better?" He asked me, "Why at 9%?" I explained about my divorce and how I have a few blemishes from my ex-husbands mistakes. I need to pick things up and start over. This is a good way to do it." He shook his head, this finance person didn't look to be older than 20 and he kept saying, "I understand." How the hell did he know? He barely graduated from high school, he couldnt have that type of experience yet. Sure enough he hadn't. He had been married for a year and they just had a little one. So he worked his magic and was able to finance me through a local credit union. I said okay...let's do it."

In order to get me financed the way they wanted they had to lower the sale price of the vehicle. I ended up paying in the end, $15,550 for the vehicle. Amazing that after all of that they had to drop the price even further.

I walked away with a new vehicle. The knowledge that I had just educated a salesman to the fact that you can never be certain who you are really selling to. Not to mention don't try to tell me that I don't know my vehicles, or have not done my research. At the end I was telling the salesman about their vehicles not them telling me the information. People tend to underestimate my knowledge and ablilities, and the fact that I am a woman and a man should know more. Amazing that sex has to come into play more often than not.

Anyway....

They made their money on the vehicle from the credit union on the back, and I went into the bank this last week and paid it off. Talk about not building credit. I have other ways to do that. However that was a most justifying experience.

**Reminder** Don't underestimate any woman, she has and will use the ability to prove you wrong.

New BBQ Grill...

Memorial Weekend....time for friends, family and a BBQ, hamburgers, chicken, potato salad, chips, polish sausages, juice, pop and fun. It wasn't much fun purchasing the BBQ...let me tell you about what happened.

I looked online for a number of BBQ's. I am not a huge fan of Walmart but I shop there. I can't explain why, probably becasue they are cheap and if I can get play clothes for Kirby pretty inexpensively then so be it. Frugal is good. However I wasn't looking for anything too expensive something to last a few years until I could upgrade.

I entered into Walmart with Wolfman, we walked back to take a look at the BBQ's. Ok...to the front...in the Garden and outdoor department. I noticed this particular Saturday it was very busy. I had started in the Men's department looking for shorts for me. All I wanted was one pair of jeans shorts for around the house. They didn't have any...so off to the womens department and again they didn't have any. In each department I asked a sales clerk if they knew when they were going to get any in. They didn't know. They were very short and definitely didn't have any customer service skills. I am not sure what I was expecting but someone to be alot nicer. I am in a customer service position, I guess I take my job much more seriously.

Anyway, as we made our way back to the BBQ's we made a decision, so I stood in line to ask the guy FINALLY if the propane tank came with the BBQ. So here I stood, humming to myself with 6 other people in front of me. So I started humming the jeopardy tune. I felt like someone on a commercial, with a speaker in a deep voice behind me saying, "Have you ever had this happen to you, where you stand in line for ever and ever**cobwebs start growing** and you never seem to get anywhere or any help? Well, come on over!" Then I am startled out of my reverie by the cashier asking the next person in line, "May I help you, " this pubescent person screeches.

I am finally the next person in line after more than 10 minutes. I ask the guy if the propane tank comes with the BBQ, "No it doesn't come with the one you are looking at." As he started ringing up the items for the next person in line. I looked at him and said, "Those aren't mine." He replied, "Oh, I thought you were done." So I stepped back thinking he would ring up my purchase next since I stood there waiting. Nope....he moved onto the next person in line...So out of frustration there were only 4 other people I got back in line.

As I got to the front of the line again, I asked him if we could get it put together before the end of the afternoon. "Hold on, let me check, can you stand over there and I will let you know." As he got on the phone and commented that he was going to start helping the next customer. He turned his back on everyone in his line to find out if my BBQ could be put together before 3pm that day. When he got off the phone, I thought I would at that time be able to pay for my purchase. He then moved onto the next customer. At this time there were 7 people now in line...**Sigh** Here we go again. I got back in line, the cashier saw me and didn't make any indication to allow me to pay for my purchase. I started getting louder, and making humourous comments. I finally got back up to the front of the line....I looked the cashier in the eye and said, "I would like to buy that BBQ, with a new tank, with that BBQ set, I would like to do it now. I am not waiting, you said they could have it put together by the time I need. Now take care of this for me please, I have been through your line 3 times." His response to me was, "You can blame my manager, he called in sick today." I looked at him and said, " I can't blame your manager for your lack of customer service and incompetence." The guy shut up and rang up my purchase without another comment.

As I left the store through the garden center I ran into 2 more employees. One of the women looked at me and said, "We are really short handed today." I looked at her and said, "Yes I can see that, you have several people here who are really short minded too." She laughed with her co-worker as I walked out the door. I collected my propane tank and left.

Sightseer came over that afternoon and he and I headed back up to Walmart to pick up the BBQ, I borrowed a truck from my ex thinking everythign would work out. It did not....The BBQ was too big to fit into the back of the Ford Ranger (that has a canopy on it). So we did the next best thing.

Sightseer and I tied the BBQ onto the tailgate of the truck to get it home. Nothing like driving a beat up truck with a BBQ tied to the back coming out of Walmart!! Talk about redneck....it was absolutely hilarious! I should have gotten a picture of it all. If not I hope someone who wins the best redneck picture gives me a portion!

So now at home we BBQ, and very well. Both, Wolfman and I don't do half bad a job if I don't cook it on high heat...Its been fun and yummy at the same time.

Busy, busy, busy...

It has been a very busy past 6 weeks. I have helped a friend move. Packing and somewhat unpacking. I am getting there but life keeps getting in the way.

The first day I made it over to his place to unpack about 3 weeks ago I managed to unpack his kitchen. The second time, I managed to unpack his office, the third time I was supposed to arrive life got in the way three different times.

The first time the kids and home got in the way, the second time I got sick, the third time my new car broke down. Did I mention I got a new vehicle? Well, now the cat is out of the bag I sure did. I will go into more detail about my experiences there in another post.

Not only that but I also took care of Jolie's cats while she was out of town for Memorial Weekend. I bought a new bbq! Yes, I cook on it quite frequently. I have been told I am actually a pretty good cook. I have to post about that purchase too! What a great time I have had...

So beyond the bbq, the moving, the new vehicle, the cats, Boyscouts, cub scouts, drives for marketing for the business, social activities, work....did I mention I cut back on my business and hired out part of my job? I had to take some things off of my plate. It was time for me to cut back. So I did.

Aftger typing out this post...there are so many things to think about that I want to put on the table and open up for comments. Any would be appreciated or any point of view I might not be seeing. Next posts coming up....

New BBQ Grill...

Jealous or just Angry...

New Car (truck?) no no...SUV. I am so excited about this one...plus the breakdown one week later.

Stay tuned!!!

Road of Life

I have finally found my Road of Life Drawing…and here I thought I was never going to be able to post it.

Just like in my profile. The road of life is very short. It is the roundabouts, circles, backtracks that make it much longer and more fulfilling.

It works...Can you believe it???

I can post to my blog from work! I have been messing with this all day and of course I can't access my personal email from work so I couldn't look at the site. So here I am sending in update after update hoping it would all be posted by the time I get home...Nope...not happening.

It takes clicking one little box and Lo and Behold it all shows up where I want it to be!

I am so excited. Now I can bring all the information anyone wants at the moment I feel like it!

I was starting to think all that free time at work was going to be wasted...

Its the excitement of the little things that keep me happy!!

It's all in a days work I suppose :)

Testing...1.2.3

Testing 1.2.3

When this becomes the "Buzz" of the office....

“They are connecting into the sewer line today in the construction at the end of the hallway downstairs. They are trying to make it short but, we all know how that goes.

If you should happen to smell the aromas of the sewer don’t panic it should dissipate shortly.”

I would think that if that is the most exciting email of the morning then I might need to find something else to do!

I have figured out how to blog from work via email!! Had I known this I would have been blogging all along. Now I can do something more with my time than sit here and twiddle my thumbs. Yes, yes I am looking at other options, but for now…This is as good as it gets.

Back to car shopping!

Song Stuck In My Head...

There is a song stuck in my head from the time I woke up this morning. Anna Nalick sings it.

It starts out... 2 AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake,
Can you help me unravel my latest mistake,
I don't love him, winter just wasn't my season
Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes
Like they have any right at all to criticize,
Hypocrites, you're all here for the very same reason.


I am laying here thinking well I was at 4am anyway,

It's 4am and I am awake
unraveling why I made this mistake,
I don't like this, mornings just aren't my best times.
Yeah I wake up and smile, rub the sleep from my eyes,
sit and wonder just what I am doing, why do I try?
Lazy butts they are all still sleeping...Why not I....

Okay its not a great work of art but at 4am and half asleep what can you expect? I'm definitely not a song writer. It is however almost 5:30 am and I am sitting here on the balcony of my bedroom enjoying the quiet sounds of the birds chirping and not much else. No one else is up except Wolfman who headed off to work already. I leave in less than an hour but I am quite able to take some time to myself.

Sitting here I am wondering what I have to do. Things seem so clear but yet they don't.

I am in the process of having to buy a new car. We are so in need of one. I can no longer fit 5 people in my little escort. It just won't hold up. With so many activities going on I just am not able to split my time driving and trying to get to all the extra curricular activities, pick up and drop off of Kirby to and from his dad's all the while trying to get Monkey Dude Jr off to his activities. I am running between or walking or taking the bus which are all good but really takes up too much time when you need to get other things done.So I have been researching, calling, making notes and trying to decide which car is best what will work for what I want. I do know that no matter what, this vehicle will not be a commute vehicle. However, it will be driven.

Amazing when you mention buying a new car how much advice you get. What is best, what is not. Go Toyota, Go Ford, Go Chevy....Well, not sure which way I am going to go but I have to get there soon. Luckily I am already preapproved. At this point it's finding my new car! Time for another cup of coffee and getting a move on...**Sigh** The demands of time....Have a good day!

Egads!! Its Been...

Way too long since I last posted. So much has happened and there is so little time! This spring has been sooooooo busy.

There have been moments and then there have been MOMENTS!! I am taking steps to clear a few things off of my plate for work and home events to clear my schedule a little more to have some more free time. Time to run through the sprinkler with Kirby and Monkey Dude Jr. Time to pack the boxes in my room I have wanted to go through for the past year. Time to visit my Nana who always wants to cook a meal for me and any guests I should bring over.

She asked me recently if I was going to find a wonderful man to be in my life. She really misses my ex husband. More so she says she misses the fact that I don't have someone to spend time with. I miss that to, to an extent but it is not a requiremtent in my life. However nice it might be to find the right one. I figure eventually I will find him.

I have been to Reno, NV for a weekend get away...Can you believe it?!?! I took some time off...an actual 48 hour vacation...Woohoo!!

While I was doing this Kirby was in Florida with his dad on a 9 day vacation to Disney World, the NASA-Kennedy Space Center, Busch Gardens, The Beach and spending time in a 7 room house where everyone got their own room! I should mention his dad, his dad's fiancee, the nanny, and all 5 kids went on Vacation! What a trip. Kirby called me 2-3 times a day..The next time we take a trip I will have to teach him time zones. Reminding him that a call at 7am his time was 4am my time however I am up on the days I was supposed to sleep in it was difficult to have my phone ring at 4am with a huge....."Good Morning Sleepyhead! If I have to be up, you have to be up!" and he would laugh and say good morning.

I enjoyed his entire trip from his perspective daily. He had a good time and came back quite tan and I think a few inches taller. I am 5 foot 10 inches and he almost looks me in the eye at the same height.

School stuff, junior high meetings, band concerts, boy scouts, friends moving, a new bbq grill, family in town, grilling on the new bbq grill, garage sales, family (youngest sister) in court, grilling for friends on the new bbq grill. Ok I will let the idea of the new bbq grill go but it sure makes some yummy goodness with the right cook :)

For those interested my book is off to an editor for an initial editing job...and soon I should have some results! I am hoping to see it on bookshelves in the future! Have to wait and see!

Anger, frustration, why?

Who has time? Whats the point? Life is really too short. Wow! It's amazing how short life really is. It's amazing how things come full circle.

Being single isn't all its cracked up to be. You find someone you really have an interest in. You date for a while. Things go great....then all of a sudden they want more than you and things aren't as good as you thought they were. They become pushy and controlling. They want to know about every detail of your life. They want to know where you are at every moment of the day. They start to call you throughout the day at work. To make sure you are really there? To find out what you are up to? Where is the trust? Where is the respect? Not going to happen. They start to order for you when you go out to dinner? What the hell is up with that?

It comes to a point where they want to know your email passwords and if you don't give it to them they start talking about lack of trust and how you don't trust them. My email, my work is not their business. Where is the trust of them for you? It's that one fable...someone who can't trust is someone who can't be trusted. Amazing he has displayed traits of someone like that. He became controlling. I am not interested in that.

Then comes the time you really need to exit the situation. How do you make it a simple process. How do you make it so you don't hurt them? How do you make it so you don't hurt yourself? Being that I am the one who got out, I wasn't really hurt. I know he was though. I know when I talked to him that I had hit him hard and it hurt. He became angry and belligerent, starting to yell, pace. Why? Will it change anything? How I feel? From my perspective it had to be done. I can't live that way. I won't have someone trying to control me in that way. It's either a 2 way street of respect, trust, honesty and caring or it's nothing.

So today I sit here alone (thats a good thing), it's quiet. It's only Lil Sister and me home today. Monkey Dude Jr is at his grandparents and Kirby is at a Boy Scout Campout. Pondering how free and good I feel. Pondering what life now holds for me. Enjoying the fact that no one has control or a part of me. Living life free and single is a wonderful thing.

My plans of the day include, cleaning, reading, writing and relaxing. Who needs a vacation? I get the time right here at home today. Although come the end of the day that will end so I am going to take advantage of all the time I can get. Enjoying my freedom from being in a relationship that is now over! Hooray!!

Training Days

Kirby is involved in Leave No Trace training with his boy scout troop. They have several campouts coming up and overnights. I am really looking forward to the family camp out this year! So many things to do and not enough time. I just got him the shovel for backpacking so he can take care of anything he needs to when he is on a long hike.

He has to keep his pack at 35 pounds or less to make it comfortable. We are still working on that. So far between his mat, sleeping, bag and tent we have that down to 13 pounds but it just doesn't seem like its enough yet.

He came home from training the first night and looked at me and explained that it was a lot of information. Surprisingly he can repeat it without too many problems. He was excited tonight to be headed off to his training for night number two. He had a lot of research to do before he went in order to complete other tasks during the training. We will see how it goes tonight.

He is back from his dads for only tonights training and then I have to take him back to his dad's. He is excited to be training and learning (hands on) all this new information. What a kid...now if he were only this excited about school. :)

I will have to see what he has learned about tonight! He is going to be going through a day long test where he will have to test his skills and knowledge on a test and hands on to prove he has learned all the requirements for this particular training. He will finally be in a position to teach rather than always be taught. Exciting times!

Bus Humor...

Riding the bus has made me open my mind to some sick humor. I really think the bus drivers are really into some perverse humor. Today I ended up leaving work late, thankfully a co worker drove me to the bus stop. As I looked down the row of busses at the transit center I noticed my bus sitting there. The bus brake lights were on which usually indicates they are about to leave. Not wanting to wait another half an hour for the next bus I started running along with 4 other people. Making our ways very quickly through the streaming crowds of people towards our bus.

As we got closer I realized there was a bus directly in front of my bus and it couldn't go anywhere unless that bus moved. I slowed a bit thinking I had more time. Suddenly the bus in front of mine started its engine and proceeded to pull out of the transit center, leaving mine to be the next one to start his engine. As we ran I felt like I was in the final stretch of a marathon and the finish line being the doorway of the bus. It would end if the door closed before I could get on it. My bus started its engine and proceeded to pull forward. Here came the final sprint! Would we make it in time? Stay tuned....

We made it to the door of the bus as he was coming to a stop. As we showed our passes or paid our way onto the bus, the driver turned off the engine. He still had 6 minutes before he had to leave for the north end of town. We ran and ran and ran....to get on a bus that wasn't going anywhere. I personally think the driver opens and closes his door to make people panic. If they see the door close they start to panic and run if they think the bus is going to leave without them. It's almost as though it is the doorway to freedom! The transport to the real world! It is a safe haven for everyone a time of peace and quiet until they enter the next world of chaos from work to home.

Amazing as I sit in my seat and watch the driver open and close the door for other riders and he chuckles. Right before the bus takes off from the transit center he makes a notation on a clipboard. I think he is marking down how many people he made run, to his wonderful inner delight. He takes delight in seeing other people run, and panic. The joy he gets from opening and closing the bus doors. Open and shut....Panic attack and run! **Chuckle** Open and shut...Panic attack and run! **Chuckle** Open and shut...Panic attack and run! **Chuckle** Its a vicious cycle. He opens and shuts the door, watches people panic and run for the bus and he gets a chuckle.. Does he think he has the power? The control to instill fear and panic?

It's the bus drivers evel delight. I guess you have to look forward to something in your job each day.

Human Kindness! Chivalry is not dead!

Many men on the busses can learn a lesson from this. My bus in the morning is usually standing room only. It's amazing the kindness people show, especially the older generation. I think many men could take lessons from this one kind gentleman.

Last Tuesday the bus was packed this particular morning. Standing room only for the last 8 people on the bus. One older woman stood wondering where she was going to hold on to keep her balance. One older gentleman packed up his book and belongings and set his bag next to me. Knowing what he was going to do I moved my foot next to it so it wouldn't slide across the floor. He smiled and said, "Thank you." And offered his seat to this woman. She embarassingly declined but as the bus lurched forward she lost her balance. She was caught from a nasty fall by 2 other men sitting close by, and encouraged to sit. She did sit very thankfully and the other men remained standing. They encouraged the older man to sit and he declined. They both sat back down and after some time I noticed the older man having trouble standing. At that point I got up and asked him to please sit. He did, he was sweating from trying to keep his own balance. He again thanked me. I at that point sat on the floor and we talked.

Since then each time he sees me he reaches for my hand gives it a light squeeze and a smile and moves to sit down.

I am a firm believer in you reap what you sow...Today I think I got my payback.

As I left work today I saw my bus coming off the freeway. I ran to the bus stop...As I got there the bus was approaching I turned to wave and let him know I was waiting my backpack flew open and out flew my laptop and all the paper and notebooks that were in it. All over the bus stop and all over the road. As I frantically picked up everything just knowing the bus was going to continue on a man bent down next to me grabbing some paper and said, "Are you getting on the bus?" I told him yes, and he proceeded to pick up a stack of stuff and take it onto the bus.

As I looked up and got on the bus I realized the bus driver had stopped, parked his bus in the street blocking traffic and stopped to help me pick up the loose papers flying all over the road.
I was shocked, amazed and very, very grateful, more than I could tell him. Human kindness, random acts of kindness, or just plain helpful. One person, one act of kindness goes a long way.

I don't know his name, but I want to say again Thank you to the driver of the MT 232 at 4:32 on 112th St. NE. You know who you are if you ever read this. I can't say thank you enough!

It's Spring!

Spring came in like lion this year. 2 weeks in and we already have 75-80 degree weather and then the next day its raining and 45 degrees. Welcome to Springtime in Seattle. Today it was sunny and cool. By the time I got home from work I missed all the sunshine and it was dark, gloomy and ready to rain by the time I got off the bus from work.

Amazing! I love this time of year and so does Kirby! Kirby loves to ride his bike and scooter up and down our rural road. He and Monkeydude Jr race each other back and forth. Surprisingly Monkeydude Jr can keep up for being a 1/3 pint of Kirby.

We have been out in the yard almost any chance we get cleaning it and mowing it for springtime cleanup. All the gardens are clean, weed free, the grass is short. We have had a great time setting up all the patio furniture so we can enjoy evening meals or iced tea on the back patio. Just waiting for the warm summer where the sun will shine and we can run through the sprinkler, eat cherry, orange, banana, grape and rootbeer popsicles.

It's only a matter of time. Just counting down. Until summer, until school gets out. Until, Until, Until...I think its a matter or waiting. Waiting and waiting...It will be here soon enough!

Happy Spring Morning!

It is 7:45am on a Saturday Spring morning. The birds are chirping, the coffee is hot and steaming in the cup next to me. The blanket I am wrapped in is soft and fuzzy. Kirby is at his dad's for the weekend, and I am just sitting, pondering, what to do, what to do....

I know I have my taxes to wrap up. I have a house to clean. I have other things to do, but sitting here enjoying the quiet before anyone gets up, before I have to run to meet another schedule, before I have to do anything at all. I have to sit and listen and enjoy. It's not often there is actual quiet time in this house. With 5 of us here to find a quiet moment is sometimes difficult.

The joys of having roommates. Everyone has their own room but it is not the same as when it was just myself and Kirby in our own place. I do miss the lack of privacy from time to time.

Just listening, again to the birds, the quiet, the car with no muffler coming down the highway in the distance. The car hopping down the highway to the beat of whatever the driver has playing. The dump trucks warming up in the lot about a half mile up the street. Its all there but somehow it brings a peaceful feeling. Calming, soothing, relaxing....with that steaming cup of coffee that I still can't drink because its still too hot! Hope you are having a Great Spring Morning!

Mr. Frogman LIves Up to New Name!!

Yes Mr. Frogman is living up to his new name splendidly! He has most recently grown at least another inch. He eats like there is no tomorrow and the grocery bill has almost doubled. It's all good though. I know it is going to happen.

Recently he blacked out in school falling over after sitting in his chair for about a minute. Was mom a bit freaked? Yes! So was he. He didn't know what was going on. I of course picked him up from school and came home to be mom and let him know everything was going to be okay.

We of course called the doctor and made an appointment. He was seen. They relate it back to blood sugar and his possibly had crashed as it was right before lunch. So each day I send in a healthy snack with him to school between breakfast and lunch. So far though he has not had another issue. I thought he was taking a snack each day already but he told me that he would get it after school instead of taking one to school. **Sigh** Now he tells me. So now it breakfast, snack, snack, lunch, snack, snack, dinner, snack, dessert. (Not really but the way the groceries are going it seems like it).

As we went into the doctors office he complained about what the doctor said. She said they were going to have to do a blood draw. He looked at me and asked, "What is that?" I explained that they were going to hook up a hose to his arm and drain out everything until he looked like a flat dried up prune. He laughed and then after a good laugh looked at me and said, "Seriously mom, what is it?" I looked at him again and explained what they were going to do. He scrunched up his face, "Awww Man! I don't want that!" He asked me then, "Are they going to poke my finger too?" I told him, "I don't think so but I am not sure." He seemed okay with that and laid back down on the table. We started laughing and talking about things.

When the nurse came in to take the blood draw he looked at her and asked, "Okay, how much am I donating today?" She laughed and said, "Only these 3 tubes." I have not seen Kirby go white like he did at that moment and squeak, "Okay." They get all done poking his arm without a sound from him and taking the blood draw removing the needle, he states in a very grown up voice, "That wasn't so bad." Then the other nurse walks in and has to check his blood sugar by poking his finger. He whined for the next half an hour over a finger prick verses a needle shoved into his arm. Amazing.

After his appointment we went out to breakfast and then off to school he went. He scowled at me when he found out I was taking him to school instead of taking the day off. Unfortunately a day off is not in my plans for a bit but it could happen. One day perhaps....Just Maybe. :)