If not one thing...then it's another....

When all is going well that's when things happen. Life is going along great! No school no nothing....until the other night. Kirby leaves the dinner table long enough to get what I thought was a drink of water because I thought he was choking on something. When he yelled he couldn't breathe and he was in a lot of pain.

I thought he was having a cramp in his chest area and had him relax. Over time the pain went away and he was back to being his annoying humorous self. Without anything further happening he went off to school the next day. I received the call about 11:30am only to find out he was doubled over in the nurses office not able to breathe and in alot of pain again. He was taken directly to the Emergency room only to have the pain and all symptoms gone. After test after test there is nothing they could have told me. With talks with the doctor they can only speculate what is happening.

So now we sit and wait to see if it happens again. Only time will tell what is going on. I only hope that what they are speculating is not the case. It's a sit and wait time period.

Kirby has been a trooper through thick and thin! He has moaned and groaned that he wants to go home but found that the funnier he is the more the cute nurses would come in and talk to him. He changed his attitude pretty quick. Not to mention we talked about what the doctors might do if we pulled the plug on a few of the monitoring machines they had him hooked up to. We laughed about the heart machine coming unplugged and how quickly the doctors would come running for a code blue! Not to mention as he would watch the machine he would try to manipulate it by holding his breath or by tapping on the sensors for the heart machines to make the heart rhythm change. Just to see if they were watching.

What a great sense of humor! It's a wait and see game now. We wait and see what happens.

~Kasey~

Winter 2008 Quarter is over...

2 down and 3 more to go! I thought this quarter would never end. Statistics and Probability is behind me. I was able to do all of the work but not fully comprehend what I was doing.

I passed with a 2.8 GPA in that class and I can move forward. I managed to pull off another 4.0 in English and I think at least a 3.5 in my last class. I am breathing a huge sigh of relief.

Next quarter will be much easier than it has been. I only have one class in the classroom and 2 classes online. Luckily I have a very understanding manager who will allow me to do homework on the job when it is slow. Which is what has been happening for the last 6 months given the current mortgage industry situation. I am taking the summer off to really spend most of my time with family and relax to gear up for the fall and push forward through the next set of classes. I should be done by June of next year if not sooner. It depends on what I am going to push off my plate, what is going to have to be put on hold.

I have put my dreams on hold so far and I so want to pursue them. One dream I can almost reach out and touch. It's only a matter of waiting just a little bit longer. I have more of a business plan to put together and a grant proposal to write. Things to really think through and get the whole picture on. It's challenging, creative, scary, frightening and exciting all at the same time. I can see what I want, it's taking that first step out and getting it. I will make it!

~Kasey~

Only one more week...Four More Days

It's only one more week or four more days until this quarter is over. Four research projects; one 14 pages long, one 5 pages long, one a quarter full of research, and lack of understanding.

Thankfully one of the guys in my statistics and probability class and I understand a form of communication between the two of us. He knew how down I was going into this weekend. He sent me an email that has so far made the end of my quarter more bearable. It looks as though I may not be failing this class after all. In his upbeat attitude he explained the grading process and how our grades are earned. There are still 55 points left to be earned in the quarter. If I get all 55 points (a statistical improbability); I can if I get at least 25 of those points conceivably pass this class with a 2.o average. That is all I need to pass this class and move ahead and not have to look back at this stuff any longer.

I have been working very very hard in order to accomplish that task. Three more long nights of no sleep and then I am completely finished!!

Time to get back to work. Wish me luck!!

~Kasey~

The Countdown to the end of Winter Quarter is on....

This has been the most challenging quarter I feel I have ever encountered. It has been a challenge to have to be in a classroom 4 nights a week.

Next quarter I am going after online classes. I have one class that I have to be in the classroom for on Monday and Wednesday nights. The rest of my classes are online. I seem to do so much better if I can work through the information myself.

I am sitting with a challenge on my hands. I have a very low grade in one class and I am not certain I am going to pass this course. I need this class to complete my degree and move on. I am thinking I may have to add this class to my next quarter and fight with 20 credits and see what happens. It will take a huge load of my time but I know I could make it happen. I have to. I don't have much choice.

At this point it is going to take a miracle if I am going to pull out even a passing grade in this class. It's a wait and study time period.

On top of the class that is most difficult I have 4 projects due. I have worked on all 4 projects and I am almost done. Its a matter of time management.

It's almost over....Soon...very, very soon.

~Kasey~

College Classes...

I sat staring at the words on the page like they were a foreign language, wanting to cry, wanting to scream. I had all the information in front of me but I couldn't put anything together to answer any of the questions that were on the page in front of me.

I sat staring, the scream welling up inside of me, wanting to scream but not being able to. I could not put the last 3 weeks of information into a coherent thought of what was to be put down on the page.

Have I made it clear yet that I just didn't get it. The instructor and I had a long talk after class that night and I explained that I just didn't get it. He argued with me. He told me I was one of the few that asked questions, I took great notes, I was involved. I looked at him and said, "without a prod in a direction, I don't get it."

I finally looked at him and said, "I hate to break the news but this is not my life long career. I am a hardcore math person. Give me 1 number and 12 variables and I will solve for each and every variable and give you the answers you are seeking. No questions asked. This Statistics and Probability stuff does not work for me." He laughed and shook his head and made a statement about starting over for the quarter and stopping with the current chapter. He walked away. I have to face that I might have to take this class over again. I have a study group this weekend with part of the students from the math class to make heads or tails of the information.

I sure hope it helps!

Way Too Early

Why is it that I can work and work to get Kirby out of bed in the morning to go to school. We battle back and forth just to get him moving. He goes on vacation and all of a sudden I am getting 5am morning phone calls. The one time I get to sleep in and not have to leave for the bus stop at 6:30am to start running for my day and Kirby is calling outside his tent in the dark with the wind blowing off the ocean. Our conversation went something like this:

"Hi Mom, **Static**wind blowing into the mic on the phone."

"Hi Buddy! How are you?"

**Static from the wind** "....okay."

"That's great! Are you having a good time?"

"Yeah, it's early here though, is it early there?"

"Well, yeah Kirby it is. It's 5am. What are you doing up at this hour?"

"I couldn't sleep. There's too much noise from the wind and the tarps flapping."

"Kirby I thought you were sleeping in the motorhome?"

"I am but I snuck out, I couldn't sleep and I wanted ***Static***

**IN THE BACKGROUND**

"Kirby...are you out here?"

"Yeah Grandpa I'm here."

"Get back in and go back to sleep."

"Let me say Bye to my mom."

"Hey Mom, I gotta go Grandpa doesn't sound too happy. I love you!"

"I love you too Kirby. See you soon."

**Line Disconnected**

Okay that child needs to learn to sleep in when he is on vacation. :)
I sure do miss that kid...He will be home soon...only a few more days.

~~Kasey~~

Vacation Times Again

Kirby is with his grandparents this weekend at the ocean! I am so jealous as that's really where I should be right now. Not sure I want to be here. **Sigh** Do you ever get used to your kids being gone? I suppose as he gets older and more independent I will. For now though, I want him to stay my little boy.

They grow so fast. :)

~~Kasey~~

Halfway Point...

I am now at the halfway point of my second quarter in my college classes. I thought it was going to be much easier to take classes in a classroom than online. I was sorely mistaken. I am so bogged down for time; time to study, time for Kirby, time for my friends and a social life. It is amazing how much time I don't have.

I register for next quarter this week. I am aiming at all online classes again I did so much better scheduling my time than I was able to actually sitting in a classroom.

Probability and Statistics (Math Class)
English 102 (That I found I didn't need but has been a fantastic refresher course).
Multicultural Communications (Tough but very educational).

I don't feel as strongly about how well I am doing in each class, it is a very tough quarter. I only have 5 weeks left 3 projects and the rest of the homework tests and quizzes. Of which I should be studying for now. Hehehehe...Guess I should get back to it.

Have a good night.
~~Kasey~~

Angels

I was not able to share this with anyone as it has been difficult. I am moving forward in life and the more I write the more I share the more I heal.

This happened a few months ago...

The dreaded phone call this morning.

I am at work trying to make it through my day. I am not someone who usually gets upset or depressed about a lot of things. Today is a different kind of day. I feel like I have lost so much.

knew it was coming. I had a long talk with a friend of mine into the wee hours of the morning. It was like déjà vu all over again. Over the past few months I have been talking with a friend I made at the hospital when I had to be in the hospital for heart problems.

During one of my darkest moments “Annie” appreared in my doorway. When no one else was there she walked in like my guardian angel. There weren’t any lights or music or wings but, you always hear about that one person who shows up when you are at your lowest to pick you up. This was “Annie” for me.

I had been in the hospital having my heart checked and a stint put into my system. This was an overnight stay and I was feeling very alone, tired and weak both physically and emotionally. The doctors didn’t know what was going on. They were saying one thing, and then trying to determine another. Congenital heart disease was a term that kept popping up. I researched it and didn’t like what I was hearing. To me this was not an option.

The doctor admitted me to the hospital so that I could have my heart procedure done first thing in the morning. As I sat in the hospital, feeling very alone and not happy with my doctors final visit to my room that night, I wanted to curl up into a ball and disappear. This was one of those times I really had wished I had reached out to my friends for support but I didn’t want to so they wouldn’t worry. It was my own fault and I knew it but after the phone call to my parents and their response to all of this was, “Oh don’t worry, you will be okay. I have to go now I have to take your sister shopping.” That didn’t make me feel all that great. So from that point on I didn’t tell anyone.

As I sat there I started to cry. It was late and I didn’t want to bother anyone by calling that late. I wasn’t allowed visitors I couldn’t eat or drink anything, and I was there. A figure appeared in my doorway. She was petite long brown and gray hair, sparkling green eyes, and a smile that would light up a room. She was wearing those full body pajamas. She looked at me and in a very comforting way introduced herself, “Hi, I’m Annie.” We talked for a few minutes. She explained why she was in the hospital and couldn’t sleep either so she went wandering and noticed my light on and that I was still awake. She didn’t ask why I was crying, she just sat and talked to me about herself and family, why she was in the hospital. As she went on I didn’t feel lonely any longer. She really made me feel better, I knew I wasn’t the only person going through all this “stuff” as I will refer to it.

She had her purse with her and she pulled out pictures of her husband, kids and grandkids! She was so proud. She had a personality that was outstanding. Nothing could get her down. She became my support system for the next year and a half. We talked. She introduced me to her single son, I was invited to family dinners and gatherings. I found I was just as much a support system for her as she was for me. Her heart problems didn’t allow her to be as active as I know she wanted to be. She would get frustrated and sometimes herself break down and cry as she couldn’t do everything she wanted to do. As time went by her health deteriorated. She would call me and talk for hours into the night when she became scared she wouldn’t see the next morning.

She shared hopes and dreams with me. Her husband and her son became close friends with me as well. Her and I would take time on a warm night and sit out under the stars and talk about hopes and dreams. She was always telling me to go after what I wanted. I did and was shot down only to pick up and keep going. She was my inspiration. No matter what everytime I left she always told me she loved me and I knew it, I could feel it.

I asked her how many people from the hospital she spent time with. She didn’t answer. Her husband told me later that I was the only person. She didn’t know what had drawn her into the room to talk to me but I am so glad she took those steps.

She called me one night pretty late and we talked. We talked until the wee hours of the morning. This was not unlike other conversations we have had. She shared with me that she was scared. We talked out her feelings and she was feeling tired so we ended our call. We told each other how much we loved one another and hung up. The word Goodbye is not in our vocabulary.

I got up the next morning feeling very tired as I headed off to work. About 10 am Annie’s husband called me. Annie had passed away quietly in the night. We knew this day was coming and I valued all the time I had spent with her. She was such an inspiration.

I was invited to the memorial service and the graveside burial. I was also asked to sit in on her will reading as she had a very special message for me.

When I walked it the memorial service after helping her husband and son with some of the details, the room was half filled and it was still 20 minutes until the time of the service. Annie’s husband approached me and asked me to sit with the family. Her memorial service was beautiful. The pastor at the end of the prayer for Annie asked if anyone wanted to share or say anything on her behalf. I was asked to say something and I had a few things written down in note form. As I got up to speak Annie’s husband handed me a large stack of notecards that were in Annie’s writing. His comment was, “She wasn’t going to let you off that easy. She wants you to read this first.” Without looking at the cards I searched for my extra hankerchief. I knew I was going to need it. The cards read please read this as it is and have people hear my voice.

Each card was focused on individual people and what they meant to her. She must have had a card for every person in the room. There was not a dry eye in the room. Even my eyes weren’t dry but I didn’t care I could hear her voice and exactly how she would say these things to everyone. Each was a huge positive thought. I had to change my words after and explained how Annie and I met. I explained that she was my “angel”. The one person who could pick you up at the times you were down, when you least expected it. I had a few more experiences to share which had us laughing. She was a great person and will be greatly missed. Others got up to speak but kept it short as “Annie” had already shared so much.

For a few weeks after her passing, I spent time with her husband and son to help out where I could each day. She had so much spirit and tenacity. She was so loved and adored. They are standing strong and doing well.

I miss Annie and her smiles, her contagious laughter her attitude. She is still my inspiration and I know as my angel she is watching over me.

Have a good night!

~~Kasey~~

Would You Believe???

Kirby was out sick from class last week for two days. Lately (in the past year) when he gets sick, he really gets sick. As he grows his wit and intellect really come out in his sense of humor.

This morning on our way to the bus stop he made a comment, “I really hope my teacher accepts my excuse for being absent.”

I responded with, “Why shouldn’t she?”

He looked at me and smiled his sly smile and said, “The last time I was sick she teased me and said she wasn’t sure if I was really sick.”

I laughed and told him, “So if you weren’t really sick then what reason would you have for actually missing school?”

“I could always tell her that I was attacked by mutant dung flinging flying Monkeys. Maybe she would believe me.” He responded.

I laughed and although that was more creative I suggested he stay with his “being sick” excuse.

I sure wouldn’t want to be attacked by mutant dung flinging flying monkeys…**Shivers** Ewwwwww!

Posted! They are now posted!

Grades were finally posted. I finally found out that all my worrying, stressing, studying, sweat and tears all paid off. Especially when studying history.

I think I did pretty well, If I can only keep it up.

Math 095 - Intermediate Algebra 4.0
English 101 - Essay Writing 3.9
History 128 - World Civilizations 4.0

Only a 3.95 Cumulative grade...I don't think that is too bad...

Now to only keep it up from here on out. Have to maintain the grade.

All in all it wasn't worth the stress but it was definitely a learning experience taking all the classes online rather than in a classroom.

The Countdown to Christmas is On...

Only Seventeen Days left Until Christmas.....

So much to do....NOT ENOUGH TIME!!

I will again repost the poem I wrote last year...Again Enjoy!

'TWAS

'Twas 2 nights before Christmas and all through the place,
People were buzzing it looked like a race.

Stockings were hung on the bookshelves with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas wouldn't leave coal in there.

Kids were playing, arguing and such,
Mom and dad were in a rush, rush, rush.

Getting presents wrapped under the tree with care
Dad trying to keep mom from pulling out her hair.

While cooking dinner there was a loud cladder
I ran outside to see what was the matter.

There on the ground in the cold rain
laid dad on his back in terrible pain.

He fell down making a huge cladder
we found him on the ground next to the fallen ladder.

We rushed over to him to find out if he's okay
"No worries, no worries," we all heard him say.

As he limped across the yard pulling lights behind
We could hear him cry and we could hear him whine.

"These stinking lights, why, why, why?
Oh they need to go up or soon I will cry!"

Cookies and fudge were cooling in the kitchen,
Children were lurking and drooling hoping they were finger licking.

The house was clean the dishes done
Now the whole house was ready for fun!

What do you do 2 nights before christmas?
Unsure of this the boys were restless.

In hopes that Chistmas would come a day sooner
Or they would go crazy could they get any loonier?

Will Santa find us? Will he be here?
Of Course, of coures he will!

He won't forget you or me
Take a good look at our tree!

With everything ready, wrapped, packed and cooked
I settled back with no more time booked.

This holiday seemed busier than most
No longer the director, no longer the host.

After the weary day I layed down to rest
We know the kids all gave their best.

The kids were filled with worry and strife
wondering if they had done everything right.

Just about to doze all snug and warm
Dad tried to turn on the charm.

When I said, "No, I have a headache tonight."
He rolled on over and turned off the light.

"Merry Christmas," he grumbled,
"Merry Christmas, Yeah Right."

Cinderella

An event that occurred last year and this year reminds me of one of my first English assignment this last quarter. I thought I would share it. You might be able to relate and if not you will get a huge laugh out of it. Enjoy!

Cinderella

It was a cool fall day, as I was running to meet my date for the evening; I was hoping not to tumble like a tall pine tree in the forest. TIMBER! That was the last word I wanted to hear. I was in a rush hoping not to fall off of the two inch heels I had to endure for the evening. I was on my way to attend a semi-formal business event for my company with another business acquaintance of mine who did not want to go alone. Amazing how someone who owns a septic installation and repair company could fully change and attend a formal event. It was so much better than the dirt encrusted, and goodness only knows what else, clothing I had to wear for work.

As I walked hurriedly I thought back to when my whole adventure to get ready for this event began. I was very uncomfortable with the idea of having to go shopping and focus on hair, nails and make up almost like Barbie. “You know, like, wow!” using her princess wave as she walked by. It brought to mind Barbie saying, “B-bye, bye now. B-bye, bye-bye.” Wondering how long she would have to stand in those high heels smiling and having her face hurt if it didn’t fall off and crack first. Or was that what I was hoping would have happened to Barbie since she always seemed so perfect.

Having to think about finding the “right” dress or outfit to wear was a scary thought. A Halloween costume of Frankenstein would work for me for all I cared about dressing up. I wasn’t too keen on the idea of going through the hassle, but I wanted to network with the right people; sometimes I wondered if hobnobbing with this crowd was worth the effort of going through the torture of preparing for the night. I thought about the experience and tried to justify to myself that the whole thing was worth it from the shopping, the shoes, the hair, nails and make up. I had a week to get ready.

I asked my friend Marta for help for this event, “I have a week, it’s plenty of time.” Marta is a fashion designer and cosmetologist. When I told her about the event she screeched in a high pitch squeal that you would only hear on American Idol; the try outs of an out of tune high pitched opera singer. I thought she was going to pass out. I was panicked enough about this event; I didn’t need her panicking as well. Instead she threw her arms around me and hugged me talking unintelligibly. Maybe her words were unintelligible due to the death grip she had on me made me see stars as she cut off the oxygen flow to my brain. Marta wasn’t panicked, she was thrilled. I was going to have to dress up, do my hair and make up. She had been waiting a long time to get her “cosmetological” hands on me. She turned and looked at me, wrung her hands together and smiled; “Now it’s my turn.” In the echo around me I could hear a deep voice maniacally laughing “Muah-ha-ha-ha-ha.”

Marta was just chomping at the bit to get me out shopping. I have never seen someone so ready to run out and spend money. Something she lived for. After careful discussion she and I agreed that she would design and make her masterpiece, the dress I would be wearing for the evening. “Great! I always wanted to act like a mannequin, being poked and prodded like a pin cushion during an annual exam, as someone created their masterpiece.”

Marta’s talents always seemed to be right in line with whatever she did. The many talents of this woman were scary. I could count on her for almost anything. If someone needed a nuclear reactor shut down in minutes in a crisis, there was Marta, and she would do it. I rarely needed her but at a time like this she was worried a week wasn’t going to be enough time. I thought to myself incredulously, “How could a week not be enough time to get a dress, do my hair, make up and go?” I was so looking forward to acting like a mannequin being poked and prodded as someone created their masterpiece.

I realized within the first hour how truly creative Marta is. She uses her creative talents to make others happy or miserable depending on how you looked at it. I had just entered my worst nightmare. Marta was calling me every hour except for when I was at work. If I didn’t know what it was like to be stalked I was finding out. I wonder if she didn’t call my work and hang up to make sure I was there and hadn’t skipped out of town on her. With the way she was acting I was wondering if I didn’t want to be high-tailing it out of town like John Wayne at the end of a movie riding off into the sunset in fast forward where even Miss Kitty didn’t have a chance to come out and yell, “Wait, don’t go!” I think she is still in the background waiting for her cue.

We spent an evening shopping for material. Her idea of elegant was neon bright and polka dot colorful. My idea of elegant wasn’t quite the bright neon pink she seemed to adore. I like looking good, however, being the center of attention by being able to be the replacement disco ball was not my idea of colorful. I prefer the traditional black or calm colors like blue and green or aquamarine. I would rather blend in with the walls or fish tanks than stand out in a crowd. After a bit of no, that’s not going to happen, absolutely not and not on your life we finally agreed on a black satin material with a thin lace cover over in the same pattern. I would be wearing a thin satin floor length black dress with a spider web thin lace over the top. It truly was elegant.

She worked night and day for two days creating her masterpiece. She so wanted things to be perfect. Two days before the event she decided, after looking in my closet, that I didn’t have any shoes to match the dress. My mouth fell open and I looked at her as though she was insane. How many pairs of shoes did one person need? I already, in my opinion, had too many pairs. She looked at me and stammered, “ I can’t believe what I am hearing! Any self respecting woman could never have enough shoes.” I sat and laughed quietly to myself as I didn’t want to offend the queen of chic.

We were out the door to find shoes. We went from store to store having her force me to try on shoes. “One inch, two inch, three inch floor!” I thought to myself, “How in the world do women walk in these things?” She looked at me as though she could read my mind and very sternly said, “You will get used to it. Deal with it!” After going to at least eight different stores we ended up back at the original store buying the one pair I had tried on first. Ugh!! All of that for the first pair I tried on? What’s up with that?

She wanted me to go home and practice walking in them so I wouldn’t stumble all over myself the night of the event. I laughed and agreed; I would have to, I wasn’t accustomed to walking around in two inch high heeled shoes. I wasn’t even sure I was going to be safe. One trip and I was going over like a tree. Maybe at this point life insurance would be a good thing.

Marta gave me a day of reprieve from what I considered to be her malicious endeavors. As the day arrived I was nervous. Marta kept discussing all that we had left to do, as though it was some major construction project. In her mind it was, in my mind I kept thinking, “What is the big deal?” Marta was acting as though she was a Fairy Godmother and she was getting Cinderella ready for the ball. I sat and laughed I didn’t truly realize what she had in mind. I wasn’t prepared. Feeling completely caught off guard as though someone walked into the room while my pants were down, Marta started talking about waxing. I thought at first she was talking to herself. I realized as she tried to approach me with a stick that had a bunch of goo on it that she was talking about me. I sat thinking, “Now what was she going to do with that? It wasn’t going to touch me in any way shape or form. Working in the septic industry having someone approach you with some “brown stuff on a stick” just isn’t right.” I explained this to her and she just started to laugh an evil laugh. At this point I knew I was in trouble. She applied what she needed to my eyebrow and then applied a small square. I knew what she was about to do and I was a bit fearful. I am not one for allowing pain especially when it is happening to me. She suddenly changed the subject and got my attention diverted when all of a sudden she ripped that piece of cloth from my body. Bloody Hell!! She almost had to tie me down. Nothing like having a good patch of hair ripped from your body when you least expect it! There was no way I was going to allow her to do that again. She once again approached me with that stick with the goo on it and told me if she didn’t do it one more time that I would look like the biggest dork on the face of the planet. My thought was that if I looked like a dork I didn’t care I wasn’t going to experience that kind of pain again. After the being shown my face in the mirror and realizing how big of a dork I looked at that moment, I reluctantly let her approach me with more “goo” on a stick. I was cringing when I noticed she was attempting to divert my attention again. I should have let her. It hurt more the second time knowing it was coming. How do women put up with this on a regular basis?

After the waxing that wasn’t supposed to hurt a bit, came the hair and make up. Marta thought that during the time she was doing this she would put on the appropriate movie. Here I thought “Pretty Woman” would be, just from it’s title, the choice. Nope! She put on “Miss Congeniality” where one person goes from Attila the Hun to Miss America. I couldn’t believe that was what she was comparing her version of the transformation to that.

Marta was more excited about this event and to be able to have her way with my hair that I finally sat back to enjoy the manipulations of her hands. She was so excited, I had finally relaxed to let her put the final touches on her “project”. This part wasn’t so bad. All I had to do was sit there as she cut and styled my hair. She was moving so fast Edward Scissorhands would have been put to shame. I watched her closely. I could not believe the difference when she was done. I felt so pretty! She definitely had a way about her to make everything right.

The time to go had come and gone. I was running late. Marta was fussing and fretting. The accessories had to be on just right. I had to hold my bag in the proper manner. She reminded me to use my manners. I told her enough was enough. It was time to go, my date would be waiting. I was in for a night of being the “belle of the ball”. It was going to be a night like no other; a night discussing septic systems and the crap that goes in them.

As I approached the doorway to enter the ball room I stopped to catch my breath. Looking around at all the people I knew standing in that room, I wondered why I was nervous. I still don’t understand the reasoning behind going through all that torture just to be “presentable”. To people who during the day would regularly see me at my worst. As I approached my date and saw the look on his face, I was going to need a shovel to put his tongue back into his mouth the way it was gaping open. I had to look behind me twice to make sure no one was there. For that response it was truly worth it.

One Quarter down....Five to go!!

My first quarter of school is done...FINALLY...it only took a lot of sweat and tears, only a very slight amount of blood and that was because I fell on the job after tripping over a book bag, breaking a bone in my wrist and kissing the wall. Like I said only a small amount of blood.

Oh well...I have more time to get things done around the house, cooking, cleaning.

Kirby has been awesome in handling less time with me while I study. Over the next month we will have lots of time together. In January my class time gets tighter and I have less time at home in the evenings. I have class Monday through Friday. Mondays and Wednesdays early evening until very late. Tuesdays and Thursdays, Late until very late. Just my luck...I could not get any classes online this quarter and have to attend classes. **SIGH** It's that much more time away from home. Kirby is more than excited for me to attend classes. He keeps telling me I am getting almost as smart as him. We of course laugh about it since I can't win in the game, "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?"

As we get closer to the holidays we are playing more family games and getting very much involved in activities together. I am looking for the game "Pigs" the pigs are like dice. When you roll them and they land a particular way you score points. I so miss playing it. My one Christmas Wish has already been fulfilled, family time....my second one we will have to see. I have told Santa but we will have to see if he will fill my Christmas Wish. I have written my letter...have you?

WE BELIEVE!!

Time Flies...

Having fun or not time flies. Thanksgiving has come and gone. The Holiday Season is in full swing.

We had a great Holiday! Kirby's birthday always falls in between. This year his birthday fell on the day after Thanksgiving. Of course we celebrated his birthday early on the 17th with all of his friends, a VERY loud bowling alley, and a lot of fun!

I find now that he is 13 it is much easier to have a birthday party with 13 year olds than it is with kids much younger. They actually listen! I know that won't last for long but you have to enjoy it when you can. He had his friends from school and a long time family friend over. We had 5 boys stay the night. Most of the boys were special needs. 3 Aspergers, 1 Aspergers combined with adhd and a few others. What a great group! To see how everyone is treated in this group always amazes me. How there can be so much acceptance amongst young people. I wish it would carry through into adulthood with everyone. I think in this group it will.

The guys just wanted to "hang out" the played video games and had dinner, they watched a movie and had snacks, they "hung out" and had more snacks, they played hide and seek in the dark in the back yard and came in for another snack....Do they ever stop eating? Noooooo......I know how much Kirby eats....hehehee...you would think I could multiply that times five and it would be enough? Nope...they eat more when they are in a group...or would you call five or more of them together a pack??? Ravenous perhaps??? You just don't know...

All in all though it was a good birthday. Kirby got to celebrate birthday number 2 at my parents house. All 5 of my brothers and sisters were there at Thanksgiving...since Kirby is the only grandchild at this time he of course is lavished upon...So of course Birthday #2 is a success....Birthday #3 is usually his dads side of the family. We make these arrangements to make sure no one misses out and that family conflicts don't break out. This year his dad definitely out did any gift anyone could have given him. His dad gave him what he wanted which was the Nintendo DS. I just looked and shook my head. Another electronic game...after getting to look at it for all of 15 seconds and having Kirby take it back telling me I had held onto it long enough. I just sighed and smiled. His dad had made his day.

Although Kirby has gotten a lot more use out of the Unicyle that he received from myself since he knows how to ride, the DS still takes the day as the coolest gift! Amazing the gizmos and gadgets they come up with.

It is now the Monday after Thanksgiving. Little Sisters Birthday is 2 days away. Christmas is around the corner. I am on the two week countdown to my first quarter back to school being over. I only have 6 quizzes 3 tests, an essay and a peer review and 2 discussions to complete...and only 14 days to complete them....Nothing like a little bit of pressure to make things happen.

I am holding onto an A average right now, unless I really mess things up, which it could happen, but I am not counting on it...I should end at a point to be able to have a great GPA to apply for more scholarships and actually get them!!

Time to get back to studying!!

Almost Thanksgiving and I am just posting...

So much has been happening and there is so little time to keep up on all the small things I want to do. Since the first day of school for Kirby I have had my first day of school. I am now 8 weeks in to classes and holding a minimum of a 3.8 GPA at this time.

I have had an issue with the History class from day 1. I only have to take it to fulfill a Humanities requirement. After this I hope I don't have to look at another history book.

English is pretty easy since I have written a form of each essay. I can take it and run with ones I have already done.

Math is not an issue. I am usually the instructor in the study groups so its not an issue.

Only four weeks left to go in the quarter. I have to make sure I don't slack off at all. Then I get a month off and get to start all over again with a new quarter of classes.

This next quarter I won't be able to take all my classes online. I will have to go to a class 2 nights per week. I prefer having all my classes online like the ones I have now.

It's a wait and see game. Luckily, I applied for and received the pell grant and the Washington State Needs grant. It doesn't cover all my tuition and books but it covers most of it allowing me to finally go back to school and get my degree.

1st Day of School

It is the first day of school. I don't know who is more excited. Kirby, Monkeydude Jr. or me. I am so ready for them to be back in school. I know along with back to school comes the annoying nag about homework and find out that it's not all getting done. Kirby now has 6 classes to follow up on with homework going into Jr. High (middle school), and with Monkeydude Jr going into 3rd grade the pestering gets to be so much fun. (NOT!)

They are both so ready! So am I!

Tenderfoot...

Kirby has made his first rank in Boy Scouts. He will soon reach his second rank as well, which is second class. He was so proud. The process of making a rank, the boy scouts have to complete several different skills, then they have to meet with the scoutmaster for a scoutmaster conference, and then finally go through a board of review.

I couldn't believe it, Kirby was actually sweating having to face his first board of review. After all was said and done all the parents in the board of review came up to talk to me about how funny, mature and insightful he is. Although they knew he was nervous they were thrilled about how well he did.

He came through with flying colors. He was so excited he ran up and shook his scoutmasters hand and almost hugged him and then ran to me for the hug. He was so thrilled and exhilarated. He called his dad and grandparents to let them know. I don't think anyone understood his excitement except his new friend from camp who came up and gave him a great big hug as he understood completely how Kirbly felt. A common bond. Amazing to watch. The innocence of childhood yet a child wanting to be older. The clashing is a coming to terms with his growth.

Onto a second rank advancement in the next month! He is now understanding of the fulfillment he can get for a job well done.

For me it's a wait and see, I help him and he advances at his level. Unbeknownst to me he schedules his own Scoutmaster conferences and Boards of Review. I didn't even know this was happening until the night it was supposed to happen.

What a guy!

Junior High....

When did that happen? When did he grow up enough to move onto this stage? Kirby is headed into Junior High. We had orientation this week. After all the work I did in meeting with teachers last May and June I was really excited for Kirby.

He was going to get the classes he needed and still be integrated into Jr High and be with his friends. I am having to take Kirby to school each day but that is okay. I have worked out my work schedule to be able to take him to his bus stop and get him off to school and still get back to the house in time to catch my carpool to work and then have Wolfman pick him up from the bus stop and get him home. Not only that but the bus stop is at his grandparents house so he is safe even if we can't get there in time to pick him up. The schedule works out for now until things change.

I am currently seeking another job so that the hours will work easier than what I have now.

Kirby went to orientation only for me to find that he didnt have the right schedule. Everything that was discussed did not happen. The only class he was able to get into was Cadet Band. As I sent Kirby off onto his orientation (with the wrong group) I was hesitant. I am glad he went he met 2 more people that as of now they have become fast friends. Will the phone stop ringing? It is almost time to hook up a land line at home so he can talk to his friends.

As I worked on getting his schedule changed to what he was supposed to be in, he had a great time finding his classes and his locker. He was so excited. He is so ready to go back to school. I am again not sure this year who is ready for school to start more. Him or me...LOL...

He has grown not only in height but in maturity. He is helping out around the house without being asked. It's amazing what puberty and moving into a new grade will do. There are many other things that have helped him mature but I would like to think it has been parental influence, more responsibility, and I am sure the help of friends, boy scouts and the leaders in our troop, growth, and so on.

They grow up too fast! He is talking about finding a job and when he is going to be of age to drive! **UGH** I am not ready for that yet!!

**Sigh** Time moves on :)

School starts this Tuesday and the new year begins.

Summer....The Busy Season

What a SUMMER!! We have been so busy and active that I have not hardly had time to stop and write, or continue on my blog for the time period.

Kirby has spent most of the summer with his dad leaving me ample free time to spend time with friends, boy scout meetings, work, research, applications to colleges.

Kirby spent a week at boy scout camp this summer. He had a marvelous time as usual! He was so excited that he made a new friend. His new found friend and he are hard to keep apart. After a week at camp I went up to spend the final campfire evening with him. He earned the rifleshooting merit badge and the archery merit badge. He has spent 2 years working on those 2 merit badges. It was enough to spur him onto the next level of advancement in boy scouts. He has earned his tenderfoot rank and is headed for his second class.

For as much as I found some of the rules and regulations of boy scouts to be not what I wanted for Kirby, Kirby has taken too them like a duck to water with the structure and routine the program offers. He lives by the scout oath and law. He came home from camp a young man this year. He has managed to make a new friend. He has taken on a position of leadership in the troop. He has matured more than I expected.

**Tear**Sniff** They grow so fast. :)

Not only that but we have been spending some Wednesday nights at movies in the park. I love it we would pack a picnic basket, the back of the trailblazer would be filled with our chairs, blankets and pillows and we would head to the park after work with a group of friends. We would pull up a huge piece of grass and all of us would sit around and chat, play bingo the kids would win prizes and we would have a good time.

We have one more movie night for the summer and it will be the perfect way to end the first week of school and the end of summer. We are going to see Wild Hogs. The kids are so excited to see a motorcycle movie. We will have to wait and see.

We have spent a few weeks camping this year (since I have more vacation time now). So many thing so little time.

Kirby has also had his challenges. I am really having to watch his anger over past experiences. He holds onto it, we are finding ways to let it go when we talk about an incident. It's a practice we have to get into both he and I so that he can find ways to let go of emotions he still can't control. He knows what they are but how to handle them is a different aspect all together.

The other aspect I am working on with Kirby is spending one on one time with him. He is almost 13 and stepping into time where he doesn't want to be around anyone. He wants to hole up and avoid the world. I can't fully let that happen. I give him his time but I make the time for him and I in a cozy, quiet corner, a tent or a homemade tent and we take the time and talk about what happened during his day or while at his dad's or what is bothering him.

Making time as the Busy Season Ends....:) Just in time for the busier season to start!