How did your day start?

This is how my day started today…

 

Things are rocky in the beginning but get steadier. The light dawns, bodies sway and move to a rhythm all their own.  They touch then move apart. Time and again like waves moving and crashing on the shore. To move all in one motion as though they are one.

 

It gets warmer, moving, touching with each sway. Eyes closed in repose, the heat and the humidity rise. The touching continues moving and swaying. It is a long time before we can move apart. The touch lingers, moving forward we are almost there. So close!

 

Then it all suddenly comes to an end and it is time to get off the bus.

 

 

 

 

Love Sick...

Kirby keeps telling me how much love hurts. He has a crush on a very nice girl. I know her parents and we keep in constant contact just to keep on top of what the kids are doing.

He has written hearts with her name in them. He talks about her when he and I are one on one wanting to know what he should do. He thinks about her alot, I can see him off in day dream wordl with that face and silly smile. I know what he is thinking. He has a picture of her he can look at.

And here I thought it was only the girls who did that.

**As the stomach churns**

He's Graduated!!

Okay, it's only from the 6th grade but still. On he moves to Junior High! Can you believe it? He is that age moving on to the next level of education.

Kirby was so excited, his dad showed up!

His dad doesn't come to many things, but when it is truly important I can usually count on him being there.

Kirby went through a 90 person graduation ceremony with his friends all things considered he did extremely well. He was a bit upset with a few of the pictures I submitted for the slide show but it wasn't anything embarrassing. Only one of him on a unicycle and one of him on the beach at Camp Casey last year. Apparently he didn't expect them to be in there and he was embarrassed.

He had a lot of fun during graduation with his friends and made arrangements with them and the parents for the summer. Sounds like they want to get together a few times throughout the summer for movies and "hanging out" as Kirby tells me.

He is so excited tonight since we are about to celebrate with an Ice Cream Sundae...

CONGRATULATIONS KIRBY!!

I am very proud of you!!

Underestimated...

Many people underestimate me and my accomplishments and abilities. I have been researching cars for a few months now. I needed a vehicle that would support 4 people who are over 5 feet 1o inches tall, and Monkey Dude Jr who is maybe 4 feet tall. I figure no matter what vehicle I chose I could fit him in somewhere.

I searched and researched for what vehicle would work for me that I could afford with the amount of savings I had. I really didn't want to finance the vehicle. I would take my friend Wolfman to dealerships with me and the salesmen would sell to him. One dealership actually tried to sell me a vehicle I didn't want. You can guess I didn't go back to their dealership.

I researched for a few more weeks and finally found a very large dealership that had about 8 cars I wanted to look at. I arrived at the dealership and we were taken around in a small car to look at all the vehicles that were in my price range. As we approached vehicle #8 I was getting very discouraged. Wolfman was doing a great job keeping the salesman busy while I really got to look at the vehicle. I was tired and ready to head home...when I walked around a vehicle that caught my eye. It was a year older than I wanted but had a lot less miles than the one I was looking at. I looked in, it seated 7, it had 4wd, and all the features I was looking for. I wasn't overly excited yet. I walked around to the front of the vehicle to check out the price tag. $20,900. I shook my head and said, "No, No, No...." I didn't like the price...I wasn't going to pay that type of money for a vehicle that had that many miles, when just that morning I had driven a vehicle almost identical to it for half the miles and they wanted only $14,988.

As Wolfman and I sat down with the salesman to negotiate the price with "The Big Boss", he placed a piece of paper with the price and vehicle make, model and vin # in front of Wolfman. Wolfman calmly and gently looked at the salesman, looked him in the eye as he slowly slid the piece of paper in front of me, "SHE is the one buying this vehicle, not me." The salesman was a bit shocked since he had spent most of his time selling to Wolfman, my roommate, he is not even on the loan. The salesmans face turned red as he seemed to sit and realize his mistake of the day. He had been selling the vehicle to my roommate and did not pay much attention to me. A few times he seemed to blow me off during the "tour" of vehicles. He focused on the man of the group. He didn't find out who was truly buying the car...Go figure huh?

I looked at the piece of paper when it was finally placed in front of me. I still didn't like the price and I told our salesman so. He told me to name a price and he would see what he could do. I explained that I had driven a vehicle that morning that was almost identical to what I was looking at here. The difference is the vehicle was gold and not white. It also didn't have Mickey Mouse on the window. Other than that the vehicles were identical. Now that wasn't necessarily true. The vehicle I had driven that morning only seated 5 people and was only a 2 wheel drive vehicle. Yet it did have 20K miles less than this vehicle and was a year newer. I still didn't want to pay the price they were asking for it. I looked at the salesman and said, "I will offer them $15, 500 Cash for the vehicle." He replied with a chuckle saying, "I don't know if the Big Boss will go for that, what would be the highest you would pay for this vehicle?" I looked at him and replied with, "I won't pay more than that." He shook his head as he walked off to talk to "The Big Boss".
I sat and waited, and waited, Wolfman headed off to find the restroom. The salesman came back and I was a bit shocked at what they came back with. They offered the vehicle back to me at $16500. I still wasn't sure about the price but I told him to go talk to "The Big Boss" again. This time "The Big Boss" came out to talk to me. I pulled out the ad for the other vehicle. No where on it did it show a 2 wheel drive vehicle but it did have the Vin# and what year mileage etc. No one said anything about it. He just looked at me and said, "That's the lowest we are willing to go on this vehicle." I shook my head and said, "Let me think about it." At that point "The Big Boss" whom I found out goes by Bulldog....Bulldog isn't as fierce as he would like to think. He and I were going to butt heads and he knew it.

I came back after fully thinking through the need for this vehicle. I did need it, it wasn't just a want. However it was, it was one of the vehicles I wanted and in a way needed. I accepted the offer. Off I went to the finance department! How quickly they move you on to the next room.

At this point they finally asked me how I was going to be financing this vehicle. I chuckled and said, "My bank has preapproved me at 9%, can you do better?" He asked me, "Why at 9%?" I explained about my divorce and how I have a few blemishes from my ex-husbands mistakes. I need to pick things up and start over. This is a good way to do it." He shook his head, this finance person didn't look to be older than 20 and he kept saying, "I understand." How the hell did he know? He barely graduated from high school, he couldnt have that type of experience yet. Sure enough he hadn't. He had been married for a year and they just had a little one. So he worked his magic and was able to finance me through a local credit union. I said okay...let's do it."

In order to get me financed the way they wanted they had to lower the sale price of the vehicle. I ended up paying in the end, $15,550 for the vehicle. Amazing that after all of that they had to drop the price even further.

I walked away with a new vehicle. The knowledge that I had just educated a salesman to the fact that you can never be certain who you are really selling to. Not to mention don't try to tell me that I don't know my vehicles, or have not done my research. At the end I was telling the salesman about their vehicles not them telling me the information. People tend to underestimate my knowledge and ablilities, and the fact that I am a woman and a man should know more. Amazing that sex has to come into play more often than not.

Anyway....

They made their money on the vehicle from the credit union on the back, and I went into the bank this last week and paid it off. Talk about not building credit. I have other ways to do that. However that was a most justifying experience.

**Reminder** Don't underestimate any woman, she has and will use the ability to prove you wrong.

New BBQ Grill...

Memorial Weekend....time for friends, family and a BBQ, hamburgers, chicken, potato salad, chips, polish sausages, juice, pop and fun. It wasn't much fun purchasing the BBQ...let me tell you about what happened.

I looked online for a number of BBQ's. I am not a huge fan of Walmart but I shop there. I can't explain why, probably becasue they are cheap and if I can get play clothes for Kirby pretty inexpensively then so be it. Frugal is good. However I wasn't looking for anything too expensive something to last a few years until I could upgrade.

I entered into Walmart with Wolfman, we walked back to take a look at the BBQ's. Ok...to the front...in the Garden and outdoor department. I noticed this particular Saturday it was very busy. I had started in the Men's department looking for shorts for me. All I wanted was one pair of jeans shorts for around the house. They didn't have any...so off to the womens department and again they didn't have any. In each department I asked a sales clerk if they knew when they were going to get any in. They didn't know. They were very short and definitely didn't have any customer service skills. I am not sure what I was expecting but someone to be alot nicer. I am in a customer service position, I guess I take my job much more seriously.

Anyway, as we made our way back to the BBQ's we made a decision, so I stood in line to ask the guy FINALLY if the propane tank came with the BBQ. So here I stood, humming to myself with 6 other people in front of me. So I started humming the jeopardy tune. I felt like someone on a commercial, with a speaker in a deep voice behind me saying, "Have you ever had this happen to you, where you stand in line for ever and ever**cobwebs start growing** and you never seem to get anywhere or any help? Well, come on over!" Then I am startled out of my reverie by the cashier asking the next person in line, "May I help you, " this pubescent person screeches.

I am finally the next person in line after more than 10 minutes. I ask the guy if the propane tank comes with the BBQ, "No it doesn't come with the one you are looking at." As he started ringing up the items for the next person in line. I looked at him and said, "Those aren't mine." He replied, "Oh, I thought you were done." So I stepped back thinking he would ring up my purchase next since I stood there waiting. Nope....he moved onto the next person in line...So out of frustration there were only 4 other people I got back in line.

As I got to the front of the line again, I asked him if we could get it put together before the end of the afternoon. "Hold on, let me check, can you stand over there and I will let you know." As he got on the phone and commented that he was going to start helping the next customer. He turned his back on everyone in his line to find out if my BBQ could be put together before 3pm that day. When he got off the phone, I thought I would at that time be able to pay for my purchase. He then moved onto the next customer. At this time there were 7 people now in line...**Sigh** Here we go again. I got back in line, the cashier saw me and didn't make any indication to allow me to pay for my purchase. I started getting louder, and making humourous comments. I finally got back up to the front of the line....I looked the cashier in the eye and said, "I would like to buy that BBQ, with a new tank, with that BBQ set, I would like to do it now. I am not waiting, you said they could have it put together by the time I need. Now take care of this for me please, I have been through your line 3 times." His response to me was, "You can blame my manager, he called in sick today." I looked at him and said, " I can't blame your manager for your lack of customer service and incompetence." The guy shut up and rang up my purchase without another comment.

As I left the store through the garden center I ran into 2 more employees. One of the women looked at me and said, "We are really short handed today." I looked at her and said, "Yes I can see that, you have several people here who are really short minded too." She laughed with her co-worker as I walked out the door. I collected my propane tank and left.

Sightseer came over that afternoon and he and I headed back up to Walmart to pick up the BBQ, I borrowed a truck from my ex thinking everythign would work out. It did not....The BBQ was too big to fit into the back of the Ford Ranger (that has a canopy on it). So we did the next best thing.

Sightseer and I tied the BBQ onto the tailgate of the truck to get it home. Nothing like driving a beat up truck with a BBQ tied to the back coming out of Walmart!! Talk about redneck....it was absolutely hilarious! I should have gotten a picture of it all. If not I hope someone who wins the best redneck picture gives me a portion!

So now at home we BBQ, and very well. Both, Wolfman and I don't do half bad a job if I don't cook it on high heat...Its been fun and yummy at the same time.

Busy, busy, busy...

It has been a very busy past 6 weeks. I have helped a friend move. Packing and somewhat unpacking. I am getting there but life keeps getting in the way.

The first day I made it over to his place to unpack about 3 weeks ago I managed to unpack his kitchen. The second time, I managed to unpack his office, the third time I was supposed to arrive life got in the way three different times.

The first time the kids and home got in the way, the second time I got sick, the third time my new car broke down. Did I mention I got a new vehicle? Well, now the cat is out of the bag I sure did. I will go into more detail about my experiences there in another post.

Not only that but I also took care of Jolie's cats while she was out of town for Memorial Weekend. I bought a new bbq! Yes, I cook on it quite frequently. I have been told I am actually a pretty good cook. I have to post about that purchase too! What a great time I have had...

So beyond the bbq, the moving, the new vehicle, the cats, Boyscouts, cub scouts, drives for marketing for the business, social activities, work....did I mention I cut back on my business and hired out part of my job? I had to take some things off of my plate. It was time for me to cut back. So I did.

Aftger typing out this post...there are so many things to think about that I want to put on the table and open up for comments. Any would be appreciated or any point of view I might not be seeing. Next posts coming up....

New BBQ Grill...

Jealous or just Angry...

New Car (truck?) no no...SUV. I am so excited about this one...plus the breakdown one week later.

Stay tuned!!!

Road of Life

I have finally found my Road of Life Drawing…and here I thought I was never going to be able to post it.

Just like in my profile. The road of life is very short. It is the roundabouts, circles, backtracks that make it much longer and more fulfilling.

It works...Can you believe it???

I can post to my blog from work! I have been messing with this all day and of course I can't access my personal email from work so I couldn't look at the site. So here I am sending in update after update hoping it would all be posted by the time I get home...Nope...not happening.

It takes clicking one little box and Lo and Behold it all shows up where I want it to be!

I am so excited. Now I can bring all the information anyone wants at the moment I feel like it!

I was starting to think all that free time at work was going to be wasted...

Its the excitement of the little things that keep me happy!!

It's all in a days work I suppose :)

Testing...1.2.3

Testing 1.2.3

When this becomes the "Buzz" of the office....

“They are connecting into the sewer line today in the construction at the end of the hallway downstairs. They are trying to make it short but, we all know how that goes.

If you should happen to smell the aromas of the sewer don’t panic it should dissipate shortly.”

I would think that if that is the most exciting email of the morning then I might need to find something else to do!

I have figured out how to blog from work via email!! Had I known this I would have been blogging all along. Now I can do something more with my time than sit here and twiddle my thumbs. Yes, yes I am looking at other options, but for now…This is as good as it gets.

Back to car shopping!

Song Stuck In My Head...

There is a song stuck in my head from the time I woke up this morning. Anna Nalick sings it.

It starts out... 2 AM and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake,
Can you help me unravel my latest mistake,
I don't love him, winter just wasn't my season
Yeah we walk through the doors, so accusing their eyes
Like they have any right at all to criticize,
Hypocrites, you're all here for the very same reason.


I am laying here thinking well I was at 4am anyway,

It's 4am and I am awake
unraveling why I made this mistake,
I don't like this, mornings just aren't my best times.
Yeah I wake up and smile, rub the sleep from my eyes,
sit and wonder just what I am doing, why do I try?
Lazy butts they are all still sleeping...Why not I....

Okay its not a great work of art but at 4am and half asleep what can you expect? I'm definitely not a song writer. It is however almost 5:30 am and I am sitting here on the balcony of my bedroom enjoying the quiet sounds of the birds chirping and not much else. No one else is up except Wolfman who headed off to work already. I leave in less than an hour but I am quite able to take some time to myself.

Sitting here I am wondering what I have to do. Things seem so clear but yet they don't.

I am in the process of having to buy a new car. We are so in need of one. I can no longer fit 5 people in my little escort. It just won't hold up. With so many activities going on I just am not able to split my time driving and trying to get to all the extra curricular activities, pick up and drop off of Kirby to and from his dad's all the while trying to get Monkey Dude Jr off to his activities. I am running between or walking or taking the bus which are all good but really takes up too much time when you need to get other things done.So I have been researching, calling, making notes and trying to decide which car is best what will work for what I want. I do know that no matter what, this vehicle will not be a commute vehicle. However, it will be driven.

Amazing when you mention buying a new car how much advice you get. What is best, what is not. Go Toyota, Go Ford, Go Chevy....Well, not sure which way I am going to go but I have to get there soon. Luckily I am already preapproved. At this point it's finding my new car! Time for another cup of coffee and getting a move on...**Sigh** The demands of time....Have a good day!

Egads!! Its Been...

Way too long since I last posted. So much has happened and there is so little time! This spring has been sooooooo busy.

There have been moments and then there have been MOMENTS!! I am taking steps to clear a few things off of my plate for work and home events to clear my schedule a little more to have some more free time. Time to run through the sprinkler with Kirby and Monkey Dude Jr. Time to pack the boxes in my room I have wanted to go through for the past year. Time to visit my Nana who always wants to cook a meal for me and any guests I should bring over.

She asked me recently if I was going to find a wonderful man to be in my life. She really misses my ex husband. More so she says she misses the fact that I don't have someone to spend time with. I miss that to, to an extent but it is not a requiremtent in my life. However nice it might be to find the right one. I figure eventually I will find him.

I have been to Reno, NV for a weekend get away...Can you believe it?!?! I took some time off...an actual 48 hour vacation...Woohoo!!

While I was doing this Kirby was in Florida with his dad on a 9 day vacation to Disney World, the NASA-Kennedy Space Center, Busch Gardens, The Beach and spending time in a 7 room house where everyone got their own room! I should mention his dad, his dad's fiancee, the nanny, and all 5 kids went on Vacation! What a trip. Kirby called me 2-3 times a day..The next time we take a trip I will have to teach him time zones. Reminding him that a call at 7am his time was 4am my time however I am up on the days I was supposed to sleep in it was difficult to have my phone ring at 4am with a huge....."Good Morning Sleepyhead! If I have to be up, you have to be up!" and he would laugh and say good morning.

I enjoyed his entire trip from his perspective daily. He had a good time and came back quite tan and I think a few inches taller. I am 5 foot 10 inches and he almost looks me in the eye at the same height.

School stuff, junior high meetings, band concerts, boy scouts, friends moving, a new bbq grill, family in town, grilling on the new bbq grill, garage sales, family (youngest sister) in court, grilling for friends on the new bbq grill. Ok I will let the idea of the new bbq grill go but it sure makes some yummy goodness with the right cook :)

For those interested my book is off to an editor for an initial editing job...and soon I should have some results! I am hoping to see it on bookshelves in the future! Have to wait and see!

Anger, frustration, why?

Who has time? Whats the point? Life is really too short. Wow! It's amazing how short life really is. It's amazing how things come full circle.

Being single isn't all its cracked up to be. You find someone you really have an interest in. You date for a while. Things go great....then all of a sudden they want more than you and things aren't as good as you thought they were. They become pushy and controlling. They want to know about every detail of your life. They want to know where you are at every moment of the day. They start to call you throughout the day at work. To make sure you are really there? To find out what you are up to? Where is the trust? Where is the respect? Not going to happen. They start to order for you when you go out to dinner? What the hell is up with that?

It comes to a point where they want to know your email passwords and if you don't give it to them they start talking about lack of trust and how you don't trust them. My email, my work is not their business. Where is the trust of them for you? It's that one fable...someone who can't trust is someone who can't be trusted. Amazing he has displayed traits of someone like that. He became controlling. I am not interested in that.

Then comes the time you really need to exit the situation. How do you make it a simple process. How do you make it so you don't hurt them? How do you make it so you don't hurt yourself? Being that I am the one who got out, I wasn't really hurt. I know he was though. I know when I talked to him that I had hit him hard and it hurt. He became angry and belligerent, starting to yell, pace. Why? Will it change anything? How I feel? From my perspective it had to be done. I can't live that way. I won't have someone trying to control me in that way. It's either a 2 way street of respect, trust, honesty and caring or it's nothing.

So today I sit here alone (thats a good thing), it's quiet. It's only Lil Sister and me home today. Monkey Dude Jr is at his grandparents and Kirby is at a Boy Scout Campout. Pondering how free and good I feel. Pondering what life now holds for me. Enjoying the fact that no one has control or a part of me. Living life free and single is a wonderful thing.

My plans of the day include, cleaning, reading, writing and relaxing. Who needs a vacation? I get the time right here at home today. Although come the end of the day that will end so I am going to take advantage of all the time I can get. Enjoying my freedom from being in a relationship that is now over! Hooray!!

Training Days

Kirby is involved in Leave No Trace training with his boy scout troop. They have several campouts coming up and overnights. I am really looking forward to the family camp out this year! So many things to do and not enough time. I just got him the shovel for backpacking so he can take care of anything he needs to when he is on a long hike.

He has to keep his pack at 35 pounds or less to make it comfortable. We are still working on that. So far between his mat, sleeping, bag and tent we have that down to 13 pounds but it just doesn't seem like its enough yet.

He came home from training the first night and looked at me and explained that it was a lot of information. Surprisingly he can repeat it without too many problems. He was excited tonight to be headed off to his training for night number two. He had a lot of research to do before he went in order to complete other tasks during the training. We will see how it goes tonight.

He is back from his dads for only tonights training and then I have to take him back to his dad's. He is excited to be training and learning (hands on) all this new information. What a kid...now if he were only this excited about school. :)

I will have to see what he has learned about tonight! He is going to be going through a day long test where he will have to test his skills and knowledge on a test and hands on to prove he has learned all the requirements for this particular training. He will finally be in a position to teach rather than always be taught. Exciting times!

Bus Humor...

Riding the bus has made me open my mind to some sick humor. I really think the bus drivers are really into some perverse humor. Today I ended up leaving work late, thankfully a co worker drove me to the bus stop. As I looked down the row of busses at the transit center I noticed my bus sitting there. The bus brake lights were on which usually indicates they are about to leave. Not wanting to wait another half an hour for the next bus I started running along with 4 other people. Making our ways very quickly through the streaming crowds of people towards our bus.

As we got closer I realized there was a bus directly in front of my bus and it couldn't go anywhere unless that bus moved. I slowed a bit thinking I had more time. Suddenly the bus in front of mine started its engine and proceeded to pull out of the transit center, leaving mine to be the next one to start his engine. As we ran I felt like I was in the final stretch of a marathon and the finish line being the doorway of the bus. It would end if the door closed before I could get on it. My bus started its engine and proceeded to pull forward. Here came the final sprint! Would we make it in time? Stay tuned....

We made it to the door of the bus as he was coming to a stop. As we showed our passes or paid our way onto the bus, the driver turned off the engine. He still had 6 minutes before he had to leave for the north end of town. We ran and ran and ran....to get on a bus that wasn't going anywhere. I personally think the driver opens and closes his door to make people panic. If they see the door close they start to panic and run if they think the bus is going to leave without them. It's almost as though it is the doorway to freedom! The transport to the real world! It is a safe haven for everyone a time of peace and quiet until they enter the next world of chaos from work to home.

Amazing as I sit in my seat and watch the driver open and close the door for other riders and he chuckles. Right before the bus takes off from the transit center he makes a notation on a clipboard. I think he is marking down how many people he made run, to his wonderful inner delight. He takes delight in seeing other people run, and panic. The joy he gets from opening and closing the bus doors. Open and shut....Panic attack and run! **Chuckle** Open and shut...Panic attack and run! **Chuckle** Open and shut...Panic attack and run! **Chuckle** Its a vicious cycle. He opens and shuts the door, watches people panic and run for the bus and he gets a chuckle.. Does he think he has the power? The control to instill fear and panic?

It's the bus drivers evel delight. I guess you have to look forward to something in your job each day.

Human Kindness! Chivalry is not dead!

Many men on the busses can learn a lesson from this. My bus in the morning is usually standing room only. It's amazing the kindness people show, especially the older generation. I think many men could take lessons from this one kind gentleman.

Last Tuesday the bus was packed this particular morning. Standing room only for the last 8 people on the bus. One older woman stood wondering where she was going to hold on to keep her balance. One older gentleman packed up his book and belongings and set his bag next to me. Knowing what he was going to do I moved my foot next to it so it wouldn't slide across the floor. He smiled and said, "Thank you." And offered his seat to this woman. She embarassingly declined but as the bus lurched forward she lost her balance. She was caught from a nasty fall by 2 other men sitting close by, and encouraged to sit. She did sit very thankfully and the other men remained standing. They encouraged the older man to sit and he declined. They both sat back down and after some time I noticed the older man having trouble standing. At that point I got up and asked him to please sit. He did, he was sweating from trying to keep his own balance. He again thanked me. I at that point sat on the floor and we talked.

Since then each time he sees me he reaches for my hand gives it a light squeeze and a smile and moves to sit down.

I am a firm believer in you reap what you sow...Today I think I got my payback.

As I left work today I saw my bus coming off the freeway. I ran to the bus stop...As I got there the bus was approaching I turned to wave and let him know I was waiting my backpack flew open and out flew my laptop and all the paper and notebooks that were in it. All over the bus stop and all over the road. As I frantically picked up everything just knowing the bus was going to continue on a man bent down next to me grabbing some paper and said, "Are you getting on the bus?" I told him yes, and he proceeded to pick up a stack of stuff and take it onto the bus.

As I looked up and got on the bus I realized the bus driver had stopped, parked his bus in the street blocking traffic and stopped to help me pick up the loose papers flying all over the road.
I was shocked, amazed and very, very grateful, more than I could tell him. Human kindness, random acts of kindness, or just plain helpful. One person, one act of kindness goes a long way.

I don't know his name, but I want to say again Thank you to the driver of the MT 232 at 4:32 on 112th St. NE. You know who you are if you ever read this. I can't say thank you enough!

It's Spring!

Spring came in like lion this year. 2 weeks in and we already have 75-80 degree weather and then the next day its raining and 45 degrees. Welcome to Springtime in Seattle. Today it was sunny and cool. By the time I got home from work I missed all the sunshine and it was dark, gloomy and ready to rain by the time I got off the bus from work.

Amazing! I love this time of year and so does Kirby! Kirby loves to ride his bike and scooter up and down our rural road. He and Monkeydude Jr race each other back and forth. Surprisingly Monkeydude Jr can keep up for being a 1/3 pint of Kirby.

We have been out in the yard almost any chance we get cleaning it and mowing it for springtime cleanup. All the gardens are clean, weed free, the grass is short. We have had a great time setting up all the patio furniture so we can enjoy evening meals or iced tea on the back patio. Just waiting for the warm summer where the sun will shine and we can run through the sprinkler, eat cherry, orange, banana, grape and rootbeer popsicles.

It's only a matter of time. Just counting down. Until summer, until school gets out. Until, Until, Until...I think its a matter or waiting. Waiting and waiting...It will be here soon enough!

Happy Spring Morning!

It is 7:45am on a Saturday Spring morning. The birds are chirping, the coffee is hot and steaming in the cup next to me. The blanket I am wrapped in is soft and fuzzy. Kirby is at his dad's for the weekend, and I am just sitting, pondering, what to do, what to do....

I know I have my taxes to wrap up. I have a house to clean. I have other things to do, but sitting here enjoying the quiet before anyone gets up, before I have to run to meet another schedule, before I have to do anything at all. I have to sit and listen and enjoy. It's not often there is actual quiet time in this house. With 5 of us here to find a quiet moment is sometimes difficult.

The joys of having roommates. Everyone has their own room but it is not the same as when it was just myself and Kirby in our own place. I do miss the lack of privacy from time to time.

Just listening, again to the birds, the quiet, the car with no muffler coming down the highway in the distance. The car hopping down the highway to the beat of whatever the driver has playing. The dump trucks warming up in the lot about a half mile up the street. Its all there but somehow it brings a peaceful feeling. Calming, soothing, relaxing....with that steaming cup of coffee that I still can't drink because its still too hot! Hope you are having a Great Spring Morning!

Mr. Frogman LIves Up to New Name!!

Yes Mr. Frogman is living up to his new name splendidly! He has most recently grown at least another inch. He eats like there is no tomorrow and the grocery bill has almost doubled. It's all good though. I know it is going to happen.

Recently he blacked out in school falling over after sitting in his chair for about a minute. Was mom a bit freaked? Yes! So was he. He didn't know what was going on. I of course picked him up from school and came home to be mom and let him know everything was going to be okay.

We of course called the doctor and made an appointment. He was seen. They relate it back to blood sugar and his possibly had crashed as it was right before lunch. So each day I send in a healthy snack with him to school between breakfast and lunch. So far though he has not had another issue. I thought he was taking a snack each day already but he told me that he would get it after school instead of taking one to school. **Sigh** Now he tells me. So now it breakfast, snack, snack, lunch, snack, snack, dinner, snack, dessert. (Not really but the way the groceries are going it seems like it).

As we went into the doctors office he complained about what the doctor said. She said they were going to have to do a blood draw. He looked at me and asked, "What is that?" I explained that they were going to hook up a hose to his arm and drain out everything until he looked like a flat dried up prune. He laughed and then after a good laugh looked at me and said, "Seriously mom, what is it?" I looked at him again and explained what they were going to do. He scrunched up his face, "Awww Man! I don't want that!" He asked me then, "Are they going to poke my finger too?" I told him, "I don't think so but I am not sure." He seemed okay with that and laid back down on the table. We started laughing and talking about things.

When the nurse came in to take the blood draw he looked at her and asked, "Okay, how much am I donating today?" She laughed and said, "Only these 3 tubes." I have not seen Kirby go white like he did at that moment and squeak, "Okay." They get all done poking his arm without a sound from him and taking the blood draw removing the needle, he states in a very grown up voice, "That wasn't so bad." Then the other nurse walks in and has to check his blood sugar by poking his finger. He whined for the next half an hour over a finger prick verses a needle shoved into his arm. Amazing.

After his appointment we went out to breakfast and then off to school he went. He scowled at me when he found out I was taking him to school instead of taking the day off. Unfortunately a day off is not in my plans for a bit but it could happen. One day perhaps....Just Maybe. :)

Mr. Frogman gets a new Name!

I have got to change Mr. Frogmans name to a new name. I have finally found one that fits him. He has grown so much in the past year and his appetite has grown with him. He eats..and eats...and eats. Its good to see but yet I wonder. I limit him to what he can have and what he needs, and of course an occassional bit of junk food.

Lately though he has been the first one done at the table each night for the past month. Usually everyone around the table is talking so I don't always notice how fast he is eating or how big the bites. However, this past week I have been taking some extra time to watch and decided Mr. Frogman needs a new nickname.

I have decided that it will have to be KIRBY. Yes just like the cute little guy in the video games. Not only that but just like the vaccuum cleaner too! Yes, Mr. Frogman sucks down his meals like a vaccuum. I was able to catch him at it with his face down to his plate and his lips in a suction fashion so he could suck down his food. I can't believe he can clear a plate that fast.

There should be a world record competition for that some place! I bet he would win too! We aren't at the table five minutes and he is done. I have to get him distracted and talking to make him slow down. He asks for seconds and I have him wait 10 minutes so he doesnt over fill himself. Amazing what he will eat and then come back for 30 minutes later.

I would have named him Hoover but his dad's dog was named Hoover and he is still there. I didn't want to conflict with anything. Very shortly I am going to make him a T-shirt that has Kirby on the back...no one will know but him and I...Well, except you too! but I know you won't say anything :)

Time Again!

The days are getting longer. The snow hasn't stopped falling. We have 6 inches of snow on the ground one day and 2 days later its sunny and the snow is gone. The kids have to make up yet another day of school at the end of the year. March 15th is fast approaching and corporate taxes are not yet done. April 15th is fast approaching and my personal taxes are not yet done.

You would think I would have time to accomplish all of this again. Not yet...but I am working on it...

Right now I am a bit focused on man trouble. The man I want doesn't know I exist so I keep it to myself. There is a man in my life that really wants me and I won't commit. His heart is in the right place but to me it is not quite right. As much as I care very deeply for him as a friend I can't get past that point.

I have girlfriends trying to hook me up with their male friends and that is just not working. Too old or too young. I can't win. I am tired of blind dates or meeting them at a convenient lunch meeting. How do you tell your married friends not to set you up with their single friends? Maybe just like that.

I can get dates just fine on my own. Getting them is easy. Making sure the person is a right fit is a different story...You don't like them and they like you...You like them they don't like you...no chemistry...both of you deciding that you are definitely not compatible.

This online dating thing stinks...how do you honestly meet somone who is right for you over email? Over IM? Over not speaking and understanding tone, intent, interpretation through unspoken words?

I don't know. Whatever happened to running into someone? Meeting over coffee? The dating world has greatly changed. A few months ago I was grocery shopping. I started a conversation with a man just out of the blue trying to be friendly...we were looking at the same item. As we talked I continued to shop. I had a lot to do...maybe he was watching what I was choosing and how much to guage if I was single or what...but we kept talking and asking questions. I had been avoiding a particular aisle for a while as I didn't want to embarass him by going down it and it was the final item I needed. I tried a few times to end the conversation but I could see that wasn't going to happen. As I strolled down my final aisle and started searching for what I needed he proceeded to mention we should get together sometime. As I reached for that dreaded box of womens personal items he asked me to dinner. He came to realize what I was shopping for at that moment. He didn't miss a beat. He asked if I was available in a week. I'm sure to make sure I was over whatever it was for the current week.

We did go to dinner and it was good...however, we were not a good match for one another.

So back to my issue. I do want someone in my life, I am in no hurry but it gets awful lonesome being alone.

Maybe with Mr. Frogman gone this weekend its tougher. I am not sure as to why it just is. I sure miss the not so little guy when he is gone.

Life's Twists and Turns

Life changes...

I have friends that I am not getting to spend as much time with as I would like to. I feel as though there is a growing distance. I have someone in my life I want more with but I don't know how to say it or if I even can.

One friend is flying to California to an interview and if he receives a job offer he may move. I don't get to see him a lot now as it is, life keeps me busy but if he moves I will see him much less. It's hard to have friends go a further distance away. The friendship remains, but it is farther apart.

Another friend lives 100+ miles to the north of me. He is having part of his foot amputated this next week. It's amazing how you don't have time for people. Everything else seems so important when things happen you realize how unimportant some things are and how important other things should be in your life.

I've met a few new people lately in order to expand my social life. It's not in with the new and out with the old. It's keep the old and integrate the new. I am thankful for the friends I have and the new ones I have met. It is interesting how life brings changes that makes people think about what they have and what is truly important to them.

Thank you to all my friends, Wolfman, Intimidator, Sightsee'r, Casinodude, Little Red, Jolie, Trucker; you mean a lot to me and I want to let you all know that. No matter where life takes you I will support and stand by you in all that you do. Love you All!!

It's Been a Month Since the Day!

It's been a month since the day the first diagnosis came in. I was diagnosed with Chicken Pox. Down and out for almost a month thinking I had the flu. The doctor tested me for pregnancy (not likely even in the slightest unless it would be the second coming of Christ), to all sorts of blood and lab tests, being subjected to poking, prodding, stabbing, cutting and finally to be told I have chicken pox. Oh Lucky Me!

I get through that to finally feeling better, to find out that since my immune system was compromised I have developed a bacterial infection that requires a very strong antibiotic to fight it. Come to find out I am allergic to sulfa based antibiotics. Unfortunately for me there is no other antibiotic that can fight this. As I am battling hives in places around by body where hives don't belong I find out that I need to be very cautious with the longevity of the antibiotic. They have put me on it for four weeks. The final downside to all of this is that now I am on IV antibiotics to counter all the symptoms of a syndrome that can occur from taking prolonged antibiotics with an allergic reaction. Only 2 more doses and I am done. Then it's a wait and see game.

Mr. Frogman and I have made a point to do homework each night together so I have some down time and he gets all of his homework done and all late or missing homework in and is ready for the next trimester in school. This is the final portion of the school year for him, the down hill slide into Junior High. He has been such a trooper through all of this but I know it is wearing and trying for him too.

He recently shared with me he has a crush on a young lady in his class. We were spending some much needed time together and he told me about all of this. His dad makes fun of hijm every time he mentions anything about a girl.. Mr. Frogman bought her a red rose for valentines day. He has been practicing what he is going to say to her. It is so cute I just want to laugh, but I can't. He keeps telling me how much love hurts and there are days he thinks that she doesn't even know he exists. They are friends and he doesn't want to hurt that friendship. Smart Kid...Takes after his mom :)

Mr. Frogman has been a trooper through all of my being sick and in/out of the doctors. This has been a trying time for him. Although he has come through very strong.

I often wonder how much he suffers for everything I have to endure. Is he getting his childhood taken away with all that I have to deal with? Am I giving him enough? Am I doing enough as a mom? How much does he really understand? I know it's enough and I know I am doing the best I can but I often wonder if my best is enough lately?

As he gets older he amazes me with his maturity and understanding. In the past year he has grown up so much. He has grown about a foot in the last year and stands almost as tall as myself. Emotionally he has grown immensely too. From thinking girls are gross to now being intertested. It was almost yesterday they had cooties.

Amazing how they grow! Learn! Blosson!

So much happening...So Little Time...

Welcome to 2007. So much happening so little time!

Between work, corporate taxes (and more taxes and more taxes and even more taxes), the book I have been working on for the last few years. I received a response from an agent! Yes the book needs more work, yes I need to find a new editor, my full time job, preparing Mr. Frogman for Middle School or Junior High School. Starting all the meetings.

I'm not sure how much fight I have at the moment. This winter has taken its toll on myself, all of us in the house, my now lack of vacation time and needing a vacation away desparately...Some place warm, blue skies, beaches, HEAT...Okay that sounds good :)

Soon, very soon that is going to become a reality.

What brought the vacation idea on? Sitting at work today doing my normal daily mundane tasks, my computer, I have noticed every time I go into a particular screen runs particularly fast, hard and loud. It sounds almost like an airplane taking off. I was thinking of how many times Iwould have to go into and out of that screen for my computer to get me to Hawaii or Mexico. Which would it get me too faster? Then I got to researching the distance from Home to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico or Honolulu, Hawaii.

It has been almost 7 years since I was last in Hawaii in March of 2000. My ex's and my 10 year wedding anniversary. We spent 2 weeks in paradise. It was also the year my marriage started to fall apart. Amazing how you can go from wedded bliss to singleness. Amazing...Hindsight is definitely 20/20. Oh well, I am still thinking some place warm...

I have been thinking about an adult only get away to Disneyland! Taking a friend or two and just the adults heading out of town. Of course we will take the kids later. Mr. Frogman has been to Disneyland twice already and is going with his dad possibly again this summer.

But going to the Happiest place on Earth would be a great thing at this point after this pointedly cold and ugly winter. Although the snow (again) is beautiful its getting long and being forced to take vacation is not quite how I want to spend my vacation time.

I am going to research a bit more and see if there are any good deals I can find! I am sure they have a few out there that I can take advantage of....It will give me something to do when I am bored at work with nothing to do. It's amazing how much of doing nothing will zap your energy levels of wanting to do anything. It leaves me a lot of time to get stuff done for everything else, both on corporate taxes, personal taxes for all who request that I complete them for them, reading (I haven't had much time for that recently), writing, editing, and spending time with Friends and Family.

Mr. Frogman needs my attention so I will sign off for now. Have a great night!

Stupid Stories of the Week!

There have been 2 very stupid stories of the week. I can blame it on the full moon or I am just bored at work and let my mind have some momentary time off. I think my cohort in crime coworker Lady Leah at work had her moment here 2 weeks ago. Mine was more so stupid or they can be compared and both be equally stupid.

During the second day of our power outage at work (it was a Monday). I brought in fresh baked banana bread and real butter for us to enjoy as we sat at work not doing much of anything. As we sat and enjoyed a quiet breakfast, Lady Leah and myself, laughing and joking and spending time that we normally don't get to catch up on things. Finally we were sent home.

Day 2 of the power outage we again sat talking and serving banana bread. As we sat in our heavy coats and teeth chattering I started again to slice the banana bread, I opened the butter and looked, hemmed and hawed a bit and said, "Well, I don't think the butter is going to spread like it did yesterday. It's a bit cold." Lady Leah looked at me and non chalantly commented, "We can wait a bit until the butter reaches room temperature."

I dumbfoundedly looked at her as my teeth chattered and I held a cup of hot cocoa close to keep my hands warm and started to chuckle. I picked up the butter knife, tapped it on the cube of butter, looked at her and said, "Well, Lady Leah I think it is already at room temperature."

She and I started to laugh and her face turned red. She stated that she couldnt believe she had just said that. I couldn't either. We laughed about how she said her brain had gone on vacation a few hours early as she was headed out of town the same day.

We still get a good chuckle out of that now and then.

Today at work I sat bored the second half of my day. As I sat there wondering what to do next, work is light this month. I was a bit concerned I was only answering training questions, I know Lady Leah wasn't feeling well and was having a hard time focusing on remembering all the details of her job. I was a bit concerned when I went to call her I had my head set upside down and was concerned that she would be able to understand me if my headset wasn't the right direction. LOL I don't know what brought that on.

Time to turn the brain on and keep it working....**Sigh** I can't believe that I even had that type of thought. Onto the weekend where my brain can take a real break...

Happy New Year!!

Ok...Ok I am a few days late. Happy New Year Everyone!!

I made no resolutions this year at all. I have failed in the past so I figure why set myself up for failure. In stead I have set realistic goals for the next year and I am well on my way to accomplishing them. I will have to post my picture of the road of life for you here in the near future. I get many laughs from it and from people who like to think about it I get compliments.

I will have to redraw and scan it in here soon. I am not able to duplicate it like I did the first time. **Sigh** Oh well. I will add it to my blog soon.

Have a great night.

Storm Stories Coming Soon to a Blog Near You!!

I will have storm stories from the past week for you coming very soon.

We were very priveledged during this last storm to only lose power for an hour and a half before the storm began.

However there was a price to pay for this. My office has been out of power for 6 days. Without power I am unable to do my job. I have unfortunately not been able to work and have been forced to take time off.

I really enjoy the time off and able to spend time with family. The paycheck however will suffer greatly.

The price to pay. Many people complained about not having power at home and how they had to go to work to get warm. I had to leave a warm home to go to a job that was not available.

How backwards is that?

A few more days at home and then back to the work grind again. My office now has power. My "Monday" on Tuesday is going to be drastically busy. Without being able to do any work for a week I have to catch up on all my daily tasks. It will take me about 2 days to get caught up with all the everyday work I still have to do. Even with the holidays we are still very busy.

Enjoy the holidays, time with family and friends! 2006 is an excellent year.

2007 will be even better!!

'Twas...

'Twas 2 nights before Christmas and all through the place,
People were buzzing it looked like a race.

Stockings were hung on the bookshelves with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas wouldn't leave coal in there.

Kids were playing, arguing and such,
Mom and dad were in a rush, rush, rush.

Getting presents wrapped under the tree with care
Dad trying to keep mom from pulling out her hair.

While cooking dinner there was a loud cladder
I ran outside to see what was the matter.

There on the ground in the cold rain
laid dad on his back in terrible pain.

He fell down making a huge cladder
we found him on the ground next to the fallen ladder.

We rushed over to him to find out if he's okay
"No worries, no worries," we all heard him say.

As he limped across the yard pulling lights behind
We could hear him cry and we could hear him whine.

"These stinking lights, why, why, why?
Oh they need to go up or soon I will cry!"

Cookies and fudge were cooling in the kitchen,
Children were lurking and drooling hoping they were finger licking.

The house was clean the dishes done
Now the whole house was ready for fun!

What do you do 2 nights before christmas?
Unsure of this the boys were restless.

In hopes that Chistmas would come a day sooner
Or they would go crazy could they get any loonier?

Will Santa find us? Will he be here?
Of Course, of coures he will!

He won't forget you or me
Take a good look at our tree!

With everything ready, wrapped, packed and cooked
I settled back with no more time booked.

This holiday seemed busier than most
No longer the director, no longer the host.

After the weary day I layed down to rest
We know the kids all gave their best.

The kids were filled with worry and strife
wondering if they had done everything right.

Just about to doze all snug and warm
Dad tried to turn on the charm.

When I said, "No, I have a headache tonight."
He rolled on over and turned off the light.

"Merry Christmas," he grumbled,
"Merry Christmas, Yeah Right."

Storms, Storms and more storms...

First it was the snow...then it was the rain....finally it was the wind...

If you are from the Pacific Northwest you will know what the weather has been like. As I previously talked about it taking 7 hours to get home one night. Then the rain storms that came through that dumped a ton of rain in a very short time.

Finally last week it was the windstorms including the downpouring of rain. We had anywhere from 60-90 mph gusts depending on your location. As I stood looking out the kitchen window and watched the window bow under the pressure of the wind thinking, "Is it really safe to be standing here if the window should shatter?"

We lost power for about an hour and a half before any portion of the storm started and havent lost power since. We have been very fortunate.

The downfall to all of us being fortunate is that the workplace life is unfortunate. My office has been without power since Friday of last week. Up to this point in time we do not have power and without power I am completely unable to do my job. No one is sure as to when we will have power restored. We are being told before Friday, I hope so. I have used 1/3 of my vacation time to make up for lost hours this week. **What a challenge**

I get to work at 8am and then by 10:30 am with our teeth chattering they finally send us home, realizing the power isn't going to come on. We are asked to stay close (not sure where the whole area is out of power) or with in cell phone calling distance. If we don't hear from them by noon then to head home for the day. Of course each day we did not hear anything so we headed home by noon. Today it was 9:30 in the morning and we were sent home. I didn't hesitate, I was out the door and on my way home within 10 minutes of the announcement.

Wooohooo!! On my way home to clean the house! Kinda sad when that is my only thought...although the most of the house cleaning is done before the weekend and family coming into town.

Only 1 Day left....Until...

Mr. Frogman is going to be with his dad through the holidays. Another year getting through with smiles and telling everyone that things are okay when inside they really aren't. The one person I want to actually spend the holidays with won't be there.

It makes for a tough 2 weeks. We will have a heck of a christmas when he gets home. He and I both know this and it will be a sweet homecoming this year.

He leaves tomorrow. **Sigh** We are enjoying one more evening together.

6 Days and Counting!

Only 6 days and counting. It's a challenge keeping Monkey Dude Jr. in line. He keeps challenging Santa with his behavior...It's constant in the negative. We are trying to keep him on the up and up. We wrote him a Santa warning letter.

It's a wait and see game. I keep telling him that I hope that Santa wasn't looking when he did the things he did.

We are finding out the Monkey Dude Jr. is ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) he loves things in order and in a routine and schedule. Amazingly enough when tht happens we have bliss. Any changes, however, and we get bloody hell. **Sigh** Starting over again with child #2.

They are worth it though.

Mr.Frogmans Thought for the Day...

You have to keep the train moving forward or it won't continue working...

It's going to take me a bit to decipher what his meaning on this thought is or to find out what good laugh he has in store for me if I can't figure it out. :)

So Many Things So Little Time! (again)

There are many things happening all at once. Maybe it's self imposed stress, who knows. I am avoiding health issues at this time. I need to wait until after the Holidays when Mr. Frogman is at his dads and I will address it all at that time.

Taxes and business stuff is really weighting things down...Business equipment going down and out of commission when you least expect it.

Arguments with Mr. Frogmans dad. He is autistic and his dad does not believe there is anything wrong with him. A battle with ignorance. So many things so much misunderstanding. Between him and his fiancee having 5 kids between them, and they think there is nothing wrong with Mr. Frogman, as well as their 1st grader who does not know any of his letters or numbers or basic sounds and they keep pushing him onto the next grade. They tellNo me they are frustrated and they fight and push him to learn but he just isn't picking it up. So as I watch their lack of patience and his inability to make connections I am seeing a child being, in my opinion, set up for failure. Even if I stand up and say something it will fall on deaf ears.

Her kids can do no wrong and they don't believe Mr. Frogman should be in special ed. I laughed. Mr. Frogman is mainstreamed in school. He has some school services but not the special ed. If his dad was more involved in his life he would know this. If he were involved in the IEP meetings he would know what it is all about.

Just tonight they again told me I baby him...well, I don't believe a 7 year old needs to be treated like a teen ager or a young adult. I believe kids need to be kids. I know they need to learn independence and over time life skills. But I don't believe a 12 year old should be doing laundry for a family of 7. Maybe a load now and then but not for everyone all the time.

My final frustration of this is that Mr. Frogmans dad tries to punish Mr. Frogman at his dad's for his room being a mess at my house. How fair is that? I finally had to lay down the law tonight. I told his dad for the final time, I am no longer your wife, your girlfriend or anything else to you. If you want to control something control your woman, but you will not decide what will or will not be done in my home. I don't come in and do that to you. I expect the same. If you are unable to keep that separate then you will not be allowed in my home. He tried to explain that he had a right. I told him no the only right he had was to pick up his son every other weekend. He had no right to decide what, when, why, how for our son. That was my responsibility, he gave up most of everything when signing the final documents. Call this my frustration and anger speaking and this is not even the full extent...

Is stupidity a disease???

Cut backs...

My company like most in the 4th fiscal quarter of the year have been making cut backs since the beginning of the year. Cutting costs and saving where they can. Consolidating branches and resetting areas and job requirements. This is normal when the mortgage industry slows way down and interest rates rise.

Like any company they are looking to keep costs low and customer service and clientele up. There are many aspects to this as many of us know. It's late for me and I have to be up at 4:30am to get Wolfman on the bus. But as my office has gone through the many changes we joke about what is to be cut next.

The company used to purchase paper plates, plastic forks, spoons, knives and paper towels. As I get these notifications from the higher up powers that be, I notify my office accordingly so that no one can complain that I am not doing my job or not ordering the necessary supplies. Most recently they have stopped allowing us to order the paper plates, forks and spoons. I notified everyone via email and of course I received back all of the groans and grumbles via email.

As a joke one of my co-workers responded with the following question:

"When is our drying rack coming in?"

I had to email her back and ask her what the drying rack was for.

She emailed back replying, "To dry our used papertowels for re-use."
I chuckled when I saw the next email from my manager informing us of the following:

"Paper towel drying rack is on back order but should be expected to be put to full use within the next two weeks."

Another co worker proceeded to enlighten us with the next possible cut backs. They were going to make us work by candlelight and mirrors. I laughed at this and explained that mirrors would be too expensive, since we had such a seasoned staff that had so many awards hanging on office walls they would have to use the candle and refracted light making it reflect from medal tag on each award to metal tag to the location they needed light. If they wanted it brighter they would have to put a little more shine on those engraved plates.

If our corporate office knew what kind of thinkers we would have some issues.

Who knows what they will think of next to cut back....

My only serious worry about all of this is that they may cut back jobs. Not that I am concerned about finding work. I am not...But the hassle of looking for another job before I don't have one is not my preference. Yes I am trying to avoid using the dreaded unemployed word...

Especially at this time of year....I don't think they would at this time of year but to save money any company would do what they had to do...**Sigh** not something to think about at this time.

The Day Has Finally Arrived!

Yes! The day has finally arrived for Mr. Frogman to take off his splint and move to a wrist brace for his arm for another 2-3 weeks. He will get to take it off the week of Christmas. What a great present! To be able to have no hinderance in his day to day happenings. I am very excited for him!

Now he will be able to finally take out the garbage and recycling again as well as help with dishes. No more listening to how difficult it is for him to wash his hair in the shower without help. He gets very embarrassed if Mom even talks about helping him in the shower.

**Sigh** Back to the way things were...Finally....

Happy Birthday Mr. Frogman

I am a bit late in posting this...

Happy Birthday
Mr. Frogman!!

Mr. Frogmans birthday was on Thanksgiving day. I didn't forget I spent the time with him instead of posting. He reminded me that I hadn't wished him a happy birthday on my blog and it would make him feel special if I did.

So Mr. Frogman Just for you sir...
I love you!!

Should I add lots of hearts and hugs and kisses too?!

Another day of patience....

Three weeks ago Mr. Frogman fractured his left arm at a Boy Scout camp out. He came home telling me it was sprained. He had it checked out by a fire fighter. Okay, I thought if it still hurt in a day or two we would make a doctors appointment and have it checked.

He wasn't home from the camp out 2 hours when, while I was working in the yard, he walked out very angrily. He came up to me and stood on one of the large landscaping rocks that embodied one of the beds around a tree in the yard. As he dramatically and emotionally explained to me that Monkey Dude Jr had tackled him and knocked him down to the hard floor where he landed on his arm yet again and telling me how badly it hurt. As he was animatedly trying to tell me his arm motions caused him to lose his balance and fall head over heels onto the ground literally doing a summer sault and then landing face first in the grass.

As he stood up I couldn't help but laugh at the entire front of his body covered in freshly cut grass, leaves and dirt. Mr. Frogman is not a small child. He stands about 5'6" if not a bit taller for a now 12 year old. I couldn't hold back the laugh since I wasn't sure if he was spitting out leaves and dirt (he wasn't actually), he was making a disgusted face and brushing himself off amazingly even angrier. It probably didn't help that mom was laughing. I know laughing wasn't the right thing but it stopped the potential down fall of emotions that would have quickly followed.

Since he had yet again hurt his arm I had to take appropriate action, we iced it down again and of course wrapped it up so that he could keep it still. The next morning he informed me that he needed to go and see the doctor. I was certain his wrist was sprained. He kept telling me that it was broken. I went to work and scheduled a doctors appointment only to be told I would have to take him to get x-rays since our doctors office doesn't have an x-ray machine. Off we went to get x-rays. Scheduled a second appointment with the doctors office to go over the x-rays.

We got into the Dr.'s office at 5:00pm and waited and waited. 2 hours in I asked when we were going to be seen. They informed me that the late evening appointments were on a time basis they would fit us in. I was frustrated by this time having waited this long and having 2 boys becoming more and more rambunctious. I was under the impression that we had a scheduled appointment time. The boys hadn't had dinner and were getting very wiggly. Even our wiggle activities weren't working these boys were ready to run. I finally had to have Wolfman come and get Monkey Dude Jr and pick up some dinner. This brought some relief to the situation. With Monkey Dude Jr gone. Mr. Frogman and I sat down to wait a bit longer to find out the results of the x-rays.

Lo and behold not 5 minutes later we were led into a room to talk to the doctor. The doctor came in and tried to lighten the blow. After Mr. Frogman recounted his story 2-3 times again they finally came out and told me that he had again fractured his arm on the growth plate yet again. So there we sat again joking about it until the doctor walked in again to set his arm in a splint. She looked at me with a glare over Mr. Frogmans head after he was seated in a chair. I truly didn't care. Mr. Frogman was starting to get agitated as it bothered him that he had to be in a splint for 4-6 weeks.

The doctor walked out and asked me to join her in the hall way before she wrapped his arm. She was upset because she didn't feel that I was taking this seriously. I looked at her and suddenly the smile left my face. I looked at her and made it very clear that I took this very seriously. I understood the severity of what was going on. My one statement that shook her was that, "Obviously you know nothing of children with Aspergers and my son. You haven't read his file eigther or you would know that I have to keep him distracted since you didn't read his file. He gets perturbed and agitated under flourescent lighting. You have had him cooped up in 2 different rooms for almost an hour with only flourescent lighting. I have to keep him distracted with humor, since it's easy to make him smile and laugh, or he will start to panic and get angry. Which would you prefer? To wrap an arm of a child smiling or laughing? or to wrap an arm of a child who can't sit still for you? Now you have a choice, you can wrap his arm with our humor and ways of keeping him calm or I can leave you with him in a very serious tone and have you deal with a child who will soon be agitated." The doctor looked at me and then told me she would rather have the humor. I walked back into the room with my son and smiled and asked if he was ready...He asked me, "ready for what?" I looked at him and said they needed him in a body cast and we were going to leave his feet and arm pits exposed. He asked me why. I told him so we could tickle him anytime we wanted and he wouls have to live with it. "Awe Mom, they would never do that," he giggled. "Okay lets get this over with, let's get it wrapped up." He really regretted those words when the doctor told him he had to keep the splint on for 4-6 weeks.

Today Mr. Frogman is counting down the days until the day he can take the splint off and only wear a wrist brace. Tonight before bed he announced only 3 more days left to take this stinking splint off. I am not sure if he was being literal or if he was calling the splint stinking out of spite.

Only a few more days...

Happy Thanksgiving 2006!

Thanksgiving, a time to enjoy family and friends. Talk about a good day. Nothing like taking a half of a day off of work to make all the desserts for family. I cook desserts each year for my family. Everyone brings something. I bring many things. This year I cooked but yet I cheated a bit as well. I make all the pumpkin pies for my family, plus many other desserts. Ok I said that many times.

I made 6 pumpkin pies, bought one huge "death by chocolate" chocolate cake from Costco, and made tons of cookies. Ok so I cheated there a bit this year too...

I bought Otis Spunkmeyer cookie dough and Wolfman did a great job baking them up this year since he had the patience to deal with an oven that wasn't working. I managed to bake pumpkin pies in the oven since you really can't mess them up unless you burn them.

I had planned for about 30 and we had several people no show this year. Without any kids for the holiday it made it only the adults. Mr. Frogman spent the holiday with his dad and returns on the Sunday following. Monkey Dude Junior spent the holiday weekend with his great grandparents in Portland. Leaving Little Sister, Wolfman and myself home with no one to take care of but ourselves. I finally got to get some sleep!! Some much needed long awaited only one night of 8 hours of continuous uninterrupted Sleep!

Thanksgiving consisted of all of my siblings, my grandmother, Wolfman and Little Sister, Sight See'r joined us this year as well. It was a small gathering but a good one.

Good Food, Good Company...It was all good!

**Update** Read All About It!

Mr. Frogman Survives!

He makes it out of the permeated, stench filled air with very little air left in his lungs and only a matter of seconds before he passes out from Wolfmans lack of ability or want to hold his natural gas. He felt Mr. Frogman deserved the punishment after all the times he has had to endure the joking and smells of the gasses that Mr. Frogman lets out on a whim.

Although it was a close call, Mr. Frogman and Wolfman are learning how to work out their differences without using violent or extreme measures. Our house is continuously filled with laughter and many times different fumes of gas depending on the nature of the event and what was served for dinner.

Since the Last Time...

Mr. Frogman came back from his overnight at Boy Scout Camp this weekend. He and Wolfman had a good time going up there doing the guy thing.

We had an unusually great day. No fights between the kids a great dinner time. After dinner Mr. Frogman decided to regale the whole group in our home with the following tale:

"It was a dark and stormy night. The rain patted steadily against the roof and windows. The wind blew the branches against the house causing noises. The shutters crashed back and forth (we don't have shutters). The lightening flashed.

As Mr. Frogman laid in bed he could hear the the door slowly creak open. Soft footsteps stepped acorss the carpeted floor. The fort curtains parted, RRRRIIIIIPPPP!!!

Wolfman comes in and rips a good one! Then runs like crazy leaving Mr. Frogman in the bed to attempt to hold his breathe long enough to get out of the room and away from the smell that will soon permeate and cause him to pass out. Does he make it? Stay tuned!!"

Can you imagine how much laughter ensued in our house after this? They are still laughing reading this over and over....

Have a great night!

The Start of a New Challenge!!

That time of year has come around again for me to go into the meetings with the school and set up Mr. Frogmans IEP for the up and coming year that will lead him into Junior High or Middle School as some would refer to it.

I got a good taste of others opinions on how to "treat" autism. It has been recommended to me to start Mr. Frogman on medication the reasoning being "My child responds real well to that." To what being doped up to conform to what society wants???

To hell with that. My child will be raised to have the best in life for him. NOT for what society wants. It leaves me angry that others, who have never met my child, "think" they know what is best for him.

Let me step back a moment as just the thought of a few of the conversations I had still make me angry. It is either ignorance or incompetence or alot of both.

I have researched autism, and the possible leads to "cures". Which in my opinion there is no cure. I have found in our home that we are not searching for a cure, we are searching to ensure our quality of life is positive and making Mr. Frogman more independent in his own life by providing him with the tools necessary at his own pace to make him a unique and independent individual.

Stepping back further. I recently went in to have the annual IEP meeting at his school. Mr. Frogman has anger issues. Not anger management and he doesn't lash out. When he goes over a situation that has made him angry a week later or a month or even in a case or two a year later he gets almost as upset as the day it happened. His hands ball into fists, his voice gets mean, his jaw clenches and he is internally angry. When we discuss it out he is fine and things are back to his regular business. If he were to tell the story again he again becomes angry with fists clenching and so on.

I am searching for resources to help him, social groups, play groups, even a child psychologist as someone to talk to to get his frustration out and help him let the anger go. Techniques that just aren't working for mom. As I started to make a few phone calls and research places that offer services to children with autism for anger and contacting the references they gave me or other parents to talk to in a support group, I found the world I didn't want to be involved in. Maybe I know now where Mr. Frogman gets it and it's not just him who needs to let go of the anger.

Incompetence and ignorance irritate me to no end. People who can't open their mind to even listen annoy me, usually this is only when they are one sided I don't bother taking the time to explain or give an opinion as by that point they are not worth the time.

The one thing that truly amazes me is the fact that, in my opinion there is a very special child in their life and they have them so drugged up they don't even know they exist. I know I am probably wrong here but that is the impression after speaking with 3 families in this program that has now got me so turned off that I don't want to have anything to do with it.

I posted on my support groups web site today and of course received what is in my opinion some wonderful feedback even from the parents that have taken a different course of working with their child and handling autism.

Ok so mom needs to let go of the anger a bit too. I have been dealing with his autism since he was diagnosed 6 years ago. I knew something was askew when he was an infant but no one would test him until he was 5. I knew I didn't have the perfect child and when diagnosed already had instinctively taken steps to keep things steady in his world. We didn't have to change much in our lives after his diagnosis but what we did have to change made a huge difference to the positive in our life.

The goals he faces and accomplishes after mainstream school are minor. Most parents of an 11 or 12 year old don't even think about this most of the time. Mr. Frogman has an issue with going to the bathroom. Not with actually going but using too much toilet paper, but then what kid didn't? Well, Mr. Frogman when he goes....he goes...so I have taught him when he is going to flush the toilet a time or two or three to ensure the toilet doesn't plug. Even after using paper.

Now he is headed into Junior High or Middle School depending on how it is referred to in your district. I have had to work at home and with his team at school on independence, responsibility, accountability and the bathroom issue. Which is what we have been working on for quite some time but really focusing on the final pieces now.

How quickly the emotions change from thinking of ignorance and stupidity to Mr. Frogman and how far he has come in the past few years. The joy he brings to everything around me and how much joy everything he does brings joy to him. How much each day I leave work in the thought that I am headed home to be with him and find out how his day was. To pester him about homework and have our quality time.

**Sigh** The huge joys of life.