Sitting, Waiting, Wondering.....

I recently thought about some seriousness of life; I have so many things I want to do and there is so little time.

Where am I at; at this point in my life I don't know. Call it depression, self pity or whatever you like. I have had to stop and reevaluate what is going on. After what I thought was going to be a routine visit to the cardiologist turned out to be anything but....

I went into a cardiologist appointment this morning....I figured ok..its a standard stress test. They want to make sure everything is okay after a gall bladder attack back in March. Ok..I am thinking it's going to be just like before.....hehehehe....Wow! Was I wrong!

Just like before they hooked up all the wires and electrodes....last time I was in my work out clothes and able to really work out during this stress test. This time around was much different. Even though I walk daily this time I was not able to keep up.

I walked in to start the appointment and I was told I would have to leave everything from the waist up off. Holy Hell!! If that was the case they better not have me running this time, I could knock myself unconscious with "things" hanging loose! The "nurse" hooked up all the electrodes and had me completely "wired!" The sonographer came in and posed me at different angles to get really good pictures of my heart.....nothing like being smeared with something sticky....Not the type of sticky I like. :) Anyway, then came the treadmill. The doctor came in and started it up...then put it onto a huge incline and sped it up.....faster......then faster again.....then one more time a bit faster.....then.....he suddenly turned off the machine had me lay down where they poked and prodded at different angles again with gooey stuff until he finally turned to me and gave me the news.....

I thought the pictures looked pretty stinkin' good...my heart was beating...That was a very good thing. But that's not all there is to it. Along with the heavy breathing came the pain. He showed me where the arteries looked clogged....showed me where the issues were showing to be.

Making me realize that all is not well.

So after leaving that appointment I had to go to another area of the hospital to have a Heightascan done. I don't even know if that is how you spell it. The heightascan is an easy one....
they hook an IV into you pump some fluid into you that your liver has to turn into bile...and then it expands your gall bladder. They then shove some chemical into your IV that makes the gall bladder contract and lo and behold it's supposed to let them know if there is an issue. They tell you that very few people experience anything.....Well, I did experience something and it was painful...What they didn't tell me until I was done was that it was supposed to reproduce the pain I had in the past. It sure did.....which indicates that I have a gall bladder issue...now the question of the hour is will they take out the gall bladder and put in stints at the same time? I doubt it...

However, the hour and a half heightascan appointment allowed me to take a nap...something I don't often get to do in the middle of the day.

Thinking back and thinking through....its the waiting part....waiting for the results....waiting for the damn lab tech to come and take my fasting blood draw at 1:30 in the afternoon so I can finally eat! I had to laugh, after all was said and done I had to visit the lab for a blood draw before leaving the hospital. I handed my paperwork to the front desk person and when he looked at it he laughed and said, "This has to be a fasting blood draw." I turned to him and said, "I have been fasting, I am starving and a diabetic....It's time to take my blood shortly before I pass out and you have to admit me...then I am sure you will take my blood to find out what is wrong." I have never seen a lab tech jump into action so quickly.

I was out of there on my way back to work....

I was doing ok...and then I got a phone call from the hospital....

I needed to schedule an angiogram soon...."Nothing to be worried about, only a concern," the doctor had said to me...However, his nurse told me that he wanted me in first thing on Thursday and it was important to get the appointment scheduled.

Not be worried? I was now downright scared....and here I thought I had time.

This is a good test of whether everything is in order.

Will -- Check
Custody of Kirby -- Check
Personal Belongings -- Check
Saying Goodbye -- Never gonna happen.

I will again be eliminating one word from my vocabulary and that is the word bye...

It is until I see you again....until we meet again....or laters! (Thanks Matt for that one!)

I don't know...self pity....depression....fear....all of the above...or none of the above and just anger? Who knows....

Here I am sitting, waiting and wondering; what is going to happen next....maybe I don't want to know....

Until next time.......

~Kasey~

Life has become absolutely crazy....

First its getting sick and fighting off pneumonia. Finally at the end of February Sightseer and I were planning a "everyone's healthy" BBQ for March 15th.

March 13th Mother Nature had other plans. Gall Bladder attack put me down for 3 days, what an adventure that was.....from the ambulance taking 26 minutes to get there to being left in a hallway and parade waving to everyone coming by....now to doing all the follow up cause they don't know what's wrong. Everyone has a different opinion.

I have to say though, we are in the process of moving out of this wonderful 4 bedroom house with half an acre and a hot tub to a 3 bedroom house with a small yard. The landlord here decided to give the house back to the bank. We are now on our way.....So with all the packing and cleaning I have to share an incident with Kirby and how truly proud I am of him for keeping his wits about himself under a stress and panic moment. Ok...for me that would be a stress and panic moment. :)

Monday, Kirby was home after school by himself like he is everyday. Keep in mind Kirby is 14 and very responsible. He was working on his laptop when he saw someone pass in front of the living room window across the front porch of the house.

He was able to give a very clear and concise description of this person and exactly what they did while they were outside. He managed to call me after the fact. The only issue at hand is that he should have called 911 instead of mom. He went into a room of the house and hid with the phone. He had a very clever hiding spot too!

After all was said and done he did good....we didn't find who it was but we know that Kirby is prepared for almost anything. He had a plan and did great....we went over emergency procedures again and instead of calling mom first to call the police first. I think he's got it.

I was just so amazed at his very detailed description of the person. When the police went around the neighborhood with a description almost everyone said they saw someone matching that description within the past 2 weeks.

When all is said and done, we are moving our move out date up 2 weeks and moving out sooner. But until then I have full faith in Kirby's ability to keep calm under pressure.
One more step in the process.....

For those that are reading this and don't understand why it's a big deal; Kirby is autistic and we have challenges, schedules we keep and processes to think things through for. What may take you and I a few seconds might take him a minute, a lot of times less. As he gets older it gets easier but yet harder.

His comment of the week, "Guess what mom! I am going to be 15 this year and I will be able to drive."

OMG!!! When did that happen!?!?!?!!?

Until next time....
~Kasey~