Who has time? Whats the point? Life is really too short. Wow! It's amazing how short life really is. It's amazing how things come full circle.
Being single isn't all its cracked up to be. You find someone you really have an interest in. You date for a while. Things go great....then all of a sudden they want more than you and things aren't as good as you thought they were. They become pushy and controlling. They want to know about every detail of your life. They want to know where you are at every moment of the day. They start to call you throughout the day at work. To make sure you are really there? To find out what you are up to? Where is the trust? Where is the respect? Not going to happen. They start to order for you when you go out to dinner? What the hell is up with that?
It comes to a point where they want to know your email passwords and if you don't give it to them they start talking about lack of trust and how you don't trust them. My email, my work is not their business. Where is the trust of them for you? It's that one fable...someone who can't trust is someone who can't be trusted. Amazing he has displayed traits of someone like that. He became controlling. I am not interested in that.
Then comes the time you really need to exit the situation. How do you make it a simple process. How do you make it so you don't hurt them? How do you make it so you don't hurt yourself? Being that I am the one who got out, I wasn't really hurt. I know he was though. I know when I talked to him that I had hit him hard and it hurt. He became angry and belligerent, starting to yell, pace. Why? Will it change anything? How I feel? From my perspective it had to be done. I can't live that way. I won't have someone trying to control me in that way. It's either a 2 way street of respect, trust, honesty and caring or it's nothing.
So today I sit here alone (thats a good thing), it's quiet. It's only Lil Sister and me home today. Monkey Dude Jr is at his grandparents and Kirby is at a Boy Scout Campout. Pondering how free and good I feel. Pondering what life now holds for me. Enjoying the fact that no one has control or a part of me. Living life free and single is a wonderful thing.
My plans of the day include, cleaning, reading, writing and relaxing. Who needs a vacation? I get the time right here at home today. Although come the end of the day that will end so I am going to take advantage of all the time I can get. Enjoying my freedom from being in a relationship that is now over! Hooray!!
Saturday, April 14, 2007
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
Training Days
Kirby is involved in Leave No Trace training with his boy scout troop. They have several campouts coming up and overnights. I am really looking forward to the family camp out this year! So many things to do and not enough time. I just got him the shovel for backpacking so he can take care of anything he needs to when he is on a long hike.
He has to keep his pack at 35 pounds or less to make it comfortable. We are still working on that. So far between his mat, sleeping, bag and tent we have that down to 13 pounds but it just doesn't seem like its enough yet.
He came home from training the first night and looked at me and explained that it was a lot of information. Surprisingly he can repeat it without too many problems. He was excited tonight to be headed off to his training for night number two. He had a lot of research to do before he went in order to complete other tasks during the training. We will see how it goes tonight.
He is back from his dads for only tonights training and then I have to take him back to his dad's. He is excited to be training and learning (hands on) all this new information. What a kid...now if he were only this excited about school. :)
I will have to see what he has learned about tonight! He is going to be going through a day long test where he will have to test his skills and knowledge on a test and hands on to prove he has learned all the requirements for this particular training. He will finally be in a position to teach rather than always be taught. Exciting times!
He has to keep his pack at 35 pounds or less to make it comfortable. We are still working on that. So far between his mat, sleeping, bag and tent we have that down to 13 pounds but it just doesn't seem like its enough yet.
He came home from training the first night and looked at me and explained that it was a lot of information. Surprisingly he can repeat it without too many problems. He was excited tonight to be headed off to his training for night number two. He had a lot of research to do before he went in order to complete other tasks during the training. We will see how it goes tonight.
He is back from his dads for only tonights training and then I have to take him back to his dad's. He is excited to be training and learning (hands on) all this new information. What a kid...now if he were only this excited about school. :)
I will have to see what he has learned about tonight! He is going to be going through a day long test where he will have to test his skills and knowledge on a test and hands on to prove he has learned all the requirements for this particular training. He will finally be in a position to teach rather than always be taught. Exciting times!
Bus Humor...
Riding the bus has made me open my mind to some sick humor. I really think the bus drivers are really into some perverse humor. Today I ended up leaving work late, thankfully a co worker drove me to the bus stop. As I looked down the row of busses at the transit center I noticed my bus sitting there. The bus brake lights were on which usually indicates they are about to leave. Not wanting to wait another half an hour for the next bus I started running along with 4 other people. Making our ways very quickly through the streaming crowds of people towards our bus.
As we got closer I realized there was a bus directly in front of my bus and it couldn't go anywhere unless that bus moved. I slowed a bit thinking I had more time. Suddenly the bus in front of mine started its engine and proceeded to pull out of the transit center, leaving mine to be the next one to start his engine. As we ran I felt like I was in the final stretch of a marathon and the finish line being the doorway of the bus. It would end if the door closed before I could get on it. My bus started its engine and proceeded to pull forward. Here came the final sprint! Would we make it in time? Stay tuned....
We made it to the door of the bus as he was coming to a stop. As we showed our passes or paid our way onto the bus, the driver turned off the engine. He still had 6 minutes before he had to leave for the north end of town. We ran and ran and ran....to get on a bus that wasn't going anywhere. I personally think the driver opens and closes his door to make people panic. If they see the door close they start to panic and run if they think the bus is going to leave without them. It's almost as though it is the doorway to freedom! The transport to the real world! It is a safe haven for everyone a time of peace and quiet until they enter the next world of chaos from work to home.
Amazing as I sit in my seat and watch the driver open and close the door for other riders and he chuckles. Right before the bus takes off from the transit center he makes a notation on a clipboard. I think he is marking down how many people he made run, to his wonderful inner delight. He takes delight in seeing other people run, and panic. The joy he gets from opening and closing the bus doors. Open and shut....Panic attack and run! **Chuckle** Open and shut...Panic attack and run! **Chuckle** Open and shut...Panic attack and run! **Chuckle** Its a vicious cycle. He opens and shuts the door, watches people panic and run for the bus and he gets a chuckle.. Does he think he has the power? The control to instill fear and panic?
It's the bus drivers evel delight. I guess you have to look forward to something in your job each day.
As we got closer I realized there was a bus directly in front of my bus and it couldn't go anywhere unless that bus moved. I slowed a bit thinking I had more time. Suddenly the bus in front of mine started its engine and proceeded to pull out of the transit center, leaving mine to be the next one to start his engine. As we ran I felt like I was in the final stretch of a marathon and the finish line being the doorway of the bus. It would end if the door closed before I could get on it. My bus started its engine and proceeded to pull forward. Here came the final sprint! Would we make it in time? Stay tuned....
We made it to the door of the bus as he was coming to a stop. As we showed our passes or paid our way onto the bus, the driver turned off the engine. He still had 6 minutes before he had to leave for the north end of town. We ran and ran and ran....to get on a bus that wasn't going anywhere. I personally think the driver opens and closes his door to make people panic. If they see the door close they start to panic and run if they think the bus is going to leave without them. It's almost as though it is the doorway to freedom! The transport to the real world! It is a safe haven for everyone a time of peace and quiet until they enter the next world of chaos from work to home.
Amazing as I sit in my seat and watch the driver open and close the door for other riders and he chuckles. Right before the bus takes off from the transit center he makes a notation on a clipboard. I think he is marking down how many people he made run, to his wonderful inner delight. He takes delight in seeing other people run, and panic. The joy he gets from opening and closing the bus doors. Open and shut....Panic attack and run! **Chuckle** Open and shut...Panic attack and run! **Chuckle** Open and shut...Panic attack and run! **Chuckle** Its a vicious cycle. He opens and shuts the door, watches people panic and run for the bus and he gets a chuckle.. Does he think he has the power? The control to instill fear and panic?
It's the bus drivers evel delight. I guess you have to look forward to something in your job each day.
Monday, April 09, 2007
Human Kindness! Chivalry is not dead!
Many men on the busses can learn a lesson from this. My bus in the morning is usually standing room only. It's amazing the kindness people show, especially the older generation. I think many men could take lessons from this one kind gentleman.
Last Tuesday the bus was packed this particular morning. Standing room only for the last 8 people on the bus. One older woman stood wondering where she was going to hold on to keep her balance. One older gentleman packed up his book and belongings and set his bag next to me. Knowing what he was going to do I moved my foot next to it so it wouldn't slide across the floor. He smiled and said, "Thank you." And offered his seat to this woman. She embarassingly declined but as the bus lurched forward she lost her balance. She was caught from a nasty fall by 2 other men sitting close by, and encouraged to sit. She did sit very thankfully and the other men remained standing. They encouraged the older man to sit and he declined. They both sat back down and after some time I noticed the older man having trouble standing. At that point I got up and asked him to please sit. He did, he was sweating from trying to keep his own balance. He again thanked me. I at that point sat on the floor and we talked.
Since then each time he sees me he reaches for my hand gives it a light squeeze and a smile and moves to sit down.
I am a firm believer in you reap what you sow...Today I think I got my payback.
As I left work today I saw my bus coming off the freeway. I ran to the bus stop...As I got there the bus was approaching I turned to wave and let him know I was waiting my backpack flew open and out flew my laptop and all the paper and notebooks that were in it. All over the bus stop and all over the road. As I frantically picked up everything just knowing the bus was going to continue on a man bent down next to me grabbing some paper and said, "Are you getting on the bus?" I told him yes, and he proceeded to pick up a stack of stuff and take it onto the bus.
As I looked up and got on the bus I realized the bus driver had stopped, parked his bus in the street blocking traffic and stopped to help me pick up the loose papers flying all over the road.
I was shocked, amazed and very, very grateful, more than I could tell him. Human kindness, random acts of kindness, or just plain helpful. One person, one act of kindness goes a long way.
I don't know his name, but I want to say again Thank you to the driver of the MT 232 at 4:32 on 112th St. NE. You know who you are if you ever read this. I can't say thank you enough!
Last Tuesday the bus was packed this particular morning. Standing room only for the last 8 people on the bus. One older woman stood wondering where she was going to hold on to keep her balance. One older gentleman packed up his book and belongings and set his bag next to me. Knowing what he was going to do I moved my foot next to it so it wouldn't slide across the floor. He smiled and said, "Thank you." And offered his seat to this woman. She embarassingly declined but as the bus lurched forward she lost her balance. She was caught from a nasty fall by 2 other men sitting close by, and encouraged to sit. She did sit very thankfully and the other men remained standing. They encouraged the older man to sit and he declined. They both sat back down and after some time I noticed the older man having trouble standing. At that point I got up and asked him to please sit. He did, he was sweating from trying to keep his own balance. He again thanked me. I at that point sat on the floor and we talked.
Since then each time he sees me he reaches for my hand gives it a light squeeze and a smile and moves to sit down.
I am a firm believer in you reap what you sow...Today I think I got my payback.
As I left work today I saw my bus coming off the freeway. I ran to the bus stop...As I got there the bus was approaching I turned to wave and let him know I was waiting my backpack flew open and out flew my laptop and all the paper and notebooks that were in it. All over the bus stop and all over the road. As I frantically picked up everything just knowing the bus was going to continue on a man bent down next to me grabbing some paper and said, "Are you getting on the bus?" I told him yes, and he proceeded to pick up a stack of stuff and take it onto the bus.
As I looked up and got on the bus I realized the bus driver had stopped, parked his bus in the street blocking traffic and stopped to help me pick up the loose papers flying all over the road.
I was shocked, amazed and very, very grateful, more than I could tell him. Human kindness, random acts of kindness, or just plain helpful. One person, one act of kindness goes a long way.
I don't know his name, but I want to say again Thank you to the driver of the MT 232 at 4:32 on 112th St. NE. You know who you are if you ever read this. I can't say thank you enough!
It's Spring!
Spring came in like lion this year. 2 weeks in and we already have 75-80 degree weather and then the next day its raining and 45 degrees. Welcome to Springtime in Seattle. Today it was sunny and cool. By the time I got home from work I missed all the sunshine and it was dark, gloomy and ready to rain by the time I got off the bus from work.
Amazing! I love this time of year and so does Kirby! Kirby loves to ride his bike and scooter up and down our rural road. He and Monkeydude Jr race each other back and forth. Surprisingly Monkeydude Jr can keep up for being a 1/3 pint of Kirby.
We have been out in the yard almost any chance we get cleaning it and mowing it for springtime cleanup. All the gardens are clean, weed free, the grass is short. We have had a great time setting up all the patio furniture so we can enjoy evening meals or iced tea on the back patio. Just waiting for the warm summer where the sun will shine and we can run through the sprinkler, eat cherry, orange, banana, grape and rootbeer popsicles.
It's only a matter of time. Just counting down. Until summer, until school gets out. Until, Until, Until...I think its a matter or waiting. Waiting and waiting...It will be here soon enough!
Amazing! I love this time of year and so does Kirby! Kirby loves to ride his bike and scooter up and down our rural road. He and Monkeydude Jr race each other back and forth. Surprisingly Monkeydude Jr can keep up for being a 1/3 pint of Kirby.
We have been out in the yard almost any chance we get cleaning it and mowing it for springtime cleanup. All the gardens are clean, weed free, the grass is short. We have had a great time setting up all the patio furniture so we can enjoy evening meals or iced tea on the back patio. Just waiting for the warm summer where the sun will shine and we can run through the sprinkler, eat cherry, orange, banana, grape and rootbeer popsicles.
It's only a matter of time. Just counting down. Until summer, until school gets out. Until, Until, Until...I think its a matter or waiting. Waiting and waiting...It will be here soon enough!
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